The Girl Next Door
by n00btmntfan
Summary: A new neighbor makes April nervous at first, but as she sorts through her feelings about Donnie and Casey, she finds herself longing for a confidante. The new woman has her own dark secrets; will she be the mother figure April longs for, or will she be a threat? Capritello triangle. T for violence & adult themes; Chapter 25 is a little edgy, but I avoid any explicit content. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

She walked into the blank whitewashed apartment with a sigh. Here, she might find a fresh start. With her new job at the Software R & D at Advancements, Inc., Satou Atsuko was ready to forget everything that had ever happened to her in her past—everything that had ever happened to her prior to receiving her Green Card.

Forty years would be a lot to forget. But she had to in order to survive. Well, there was one thing she would never forget.

A voice behind her startled her. "Ms. Satou, where would you like the display cases installed?"

* * *

As April O'Neil walked down the staircase of her apartment, she jumped slightly at the sound of drills and movers. Big burly men were walking in and out of the apartment just below hers, and some kind of installation team was stirring up drywall dust. She coughed slightly as she tried to look without appearing _too_ curious.

She told herself that there was nothing unusual about new tenants moving into an apartment building, but she found that she had become overwhelmingly paranoid since her first encounter with the Kraang, and even more so now that the Foot had super-creepy-good robots in their employ.

Well, employ wasn't the right word, because they wouldn't be _paying_ the robots, but…

April turned back around to go down the stairs and smacked right into somebody. All of the books in her bag tumbled out and slid down the stairs in various states of disarray.

"Excuse me, I am so sorry!" exclaimed April's unfortunate victim.

"No," April groaned, as she scrambled to retrieve her books. "It's my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Here, let me help you." The stranger started gathering stray books, pencils and papers from the staircase. "We don't want the movers stepping on these."

Upon recognizing a distinct Japanese accent, April looked up at the stranger for the first time. It was a woman—probably late thirties, early forties. Her shiny blue-black hair hung in a silky curtain all around her face. She couldn't have been any taller than April herself.

"Oh, are you the one that's moving in?" April asked, trying to sound casual. The idea of a Japanese person living next to her seemed frightfully suspicious—what if she was connected with the Foot? Was this woman related to Shredder somehow?

"I am," the woman replied with a warm smile. "And I am unfortunately already starting to be a nuisance to the neighbors. My name is Satou Atsuko—Atsuko Satou, rather. I am still unused to your backwards Western name system."

April laughed in spite of herself. "It's nice to meet you, Satou-san," she said. She hesitated briefly before saying her own name—but if this woman was in Shredder's ranks, she would already know it anyway. "I'm April."

"The pleasure is mine," Atsuko replied, with a customary bow. She then handed a book to April. "I see that you are learning trigonometry in school."

"Yeah. Actually, I'm tutoring this other guy so he doesn't flunk out."

"Sounds romantic," Atsuko said with a sparkle in her eye.

April rolled her eyes. "Please. It's for extra credit." However, she felt a slight twitch in her stomach at the thought of Casey's hockey-mangled grin and saucy attitude.

"Ah. Well, I won't delay you then. I'm sure we will see each other again."

"Yeah! Nice to meet you!"

* * *

"Wassup, Red? Not like you to be late!"

"I ran into my new neighbor—literally. I smashed into her on the staircase and spilled my books everywhere."

"Graceful," Casey said with smirk.

"Yeah, yeah," April replied, grinning widely.

"So when are you gonna tell me about those weird robo-dudes who were after you?"

"After I tell you about secants, cosecants, and cotangents."

"Wha…?" Furrowing his brow, Casey snatched the trigonometry book from April's hands and flipped to the table of contents. "C'mon, Red, that's not for like, five more chapters!"

"I know."

"Look, muchacha…"

"Since when do you call me 'muchacha?'"

"Since I learned it in Spanish today."

"Ah."

"But seriously—don't you think I could get an explanation?"

April sighed. "You know those friends I told you about? Well, they're enemies with those guys who attacked us. And so they sent those robots because of that."

"Is that why you're not talking to them anymore?"

"Well…I am talking to them again now. We made up."

Casey shook his head. "Red, your life sounds way too interesting."

"Tell me about it. Now let's review…what is a radian?"

"That's what you listen to music on, right?"

April groaned. "Seriously?" she said.

Casey laughed. "It's the same as a degree, only different, right?"

"Close enough, Jones. Close enough."

"So what's your new neighbor like?" Casey asked.

"Come on, Casey! Do you want to study or not?"

Casey chuckled. "You have to ask?"

April took a good, long look at Casey's face. Years of hockey playing had their toll. Four teeth missing, scars under his eyes—and yet he was kind of cute. He was so energetic and spaced out, but he had quite a violent side to him. It was like he was Michelangelo's and Raphael's deranged lovechild.

At that thought, April burst out laughing uncontrollably.

"What?" Casey asked reproachfully.

"Nothing, nothing," April said, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "I just thought of something really funny, but it's an inside joke. You wouldn't get it."

"Whatever, Red. Keep your secrets all you want."

"I will, thank you."

* * *

Satou Atsuko sat down amidst the sea of unopened boxes in her living room. She looked up at the beautiful glass display cases that spanned an entire wall of the apartment. It was time to put up her collection.

One by one, she started to remove hundreds of traditional Japanese weapons from their cardboard prisons.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, guys!" April chirped as she walked into the lair.

Four turtles looked up from the television and waved.

"Hi, April!" Donatello said, his voice unusually high-pitched.

Leonardo greeted April with his customary pleasant smile. "How did the tutoring go?" he asked.

"Well, it's kind of hard to teach someone when they aren't interesting in learning," April answered with a shrug.

"Tell me about it," Leonardo said, nodding in agreement.

"And what is that supposed to mean, Leo?" Raphael chipped in.

"Nothing…just that you guys aren't always the most cooperative…"

"Shut up you guys, I can't hear the TV!" Michelanglo snapped. "This is the best part!"

Both Raphael and Leonardo turned back toward the television. Their eyes suddenly glazed over as they became immediately absorbed into the show.

April walked over to where Donnie was sitting. The couch, once plump and plush, was now mostly springs and threadbare fabric. She sank deeply into what was left of the cushion. "You'll think this is funny, Donnie," April said. "I asked Casey what a radian was, and he said it was something you listen to music on."

Donnie shook his head. "Some guys just aren't as smart as others, April," he said with a somewhat superior air.

April suppressed a laugh when she saw that Raphael rolled his eyes. "He was joking," April said. "I thought it was a pretty good joke, personally."

"Oh." Donnie chuckled kind of nervously. "That is funny, actually. Not the most succinct paronomasia ever, but pretty clever."

"Ok, Donnie," Raph snapped, "it's hard to listen to the show when you talk, let alone make up words."

"'Paronomasia' is a word, Raph," Donnie replied. He spread his hands out as he always did when he was offering an explanation. "It's from the Greek _paronomazien _which means to slightly alter…"

Mikey stood up. "Blah, blah, blah," he said, putting his hands on his hips. He crossed his eyes and grinned stupidly. "I'm Donnie. It's important to be accurate. I like big words, blah, blah, blah!"

Leo and Raph started laughing hysterically. For Donnie's sake, April covered her own smile.

Donnie looked like he was about to start having steam rise from the top of his head. "It _is_ important to be accurate!" he yelled shrilly. "Come on, April. Want to see what I've been working on in my lab?"

April couldn't help but notice the covert glances that the other turtles exchanged. They all started laughing even harder. _Nice going, April,_ she thought. _You had to kiss him on the cheek. Now they all think Donnie and I are an item. And I thought high school gossip was bad. What's the big deal? Families kiss each other all the time. I've seen my aunt kiss my dad..._

But instinctively, April knew that kissing Donnie on the cheek meant a lot more to him than it had to her.

"Sure," April said, trying to sound nonchalant. She wasn't a huge fan of the turtles' new show, anyway. And maybe Donnie would have made some advances on the retro-mutagen.

Donnie beamed at her.

As they walked over to the lab, April asked, "So—shorthand version—what is a paronomasia?"

"Oh," Donnie said. "It's a pun."

"I don't get it."

"No, I mean that 'paronomasia' means 'pun.'"

"Wow. You managed to say the same thing with like, ten more letters."

"Actually, it's only eight more letters," Donnie countered.

April laughed. "I think I know how Casey feels now," she said.

Donnie frowned slightly. "Oh?"

"Yeah—like I'm not that smart."

"Oh," Donnie replied, visibly relaxing. "You are smart, April. You're the smartest girl I know."

"Really, Donnie? I'm the only girl you know."

"Not true—I know Karai, too."

April rolled her eyes. "So what have you been working on?"

Immediately, Donnie got that feverish look he always did when talking about his inventions. "It's really awesome," he exclaimed. He went over to a corner and pulled a dust cover off of what appeared to be a jumble of electronics. "I'm trying to build a computer capable of doing advanced molecular analysis. Theoretically, it might be able to describe chemical structures for elements from Dimension X."

April felt a sudden thrill of hope. "You mean—you could use this to find a cure for Dad?"

"Well, theoretically, anyway. It needs a lot of work. I'm still working on trial and error in the meantime, but this should give me something far more—"

"Accurate," April said, with a smile.

Donnie smiled slightly, as if he were unsure if April was joking with him or making fun of him. "It's important," he said, looking at his feet awkwardly.

"Of course it is," April said. She looked at the pile of electronics, once again feeling her spirits rise. "If anyone can find a cure, it's you, Donnie."

Donnie's face flushed. "Well…"

"Speaking of my Dad, I need to go feed him," April sighed. "If I don't before he goes out, he eats all kinds of junk and then throws it up later." While her father was still somewhat beyond reason, the two of them had worked out an understanding. He came to sleep in the apartment during the day, and then went out at night to do…

Well, whatever it is bats do.

April made sure he had plenty of good nutrition before he went out on his nighttime flights, and when he arrived in the morning, she spent some time sitting with him before he fell asleep. Frequently, he would put one of his wing-arms around her and they would just sit together in silence. Those moments gave her hope that her father was still in there somewhere.

"Yeah," Donnie said awkwardly. "How is that going for you?"

"Not great," April said sadly. "I still can't understand why he's lost his human mind. I mean, Splinter kept his, and so did Dogpound and Fishface."

"All I can surmise is that it affects different people differently. I mean, it was the same with Timothy." Donnie sighed and looked over at the frozen mutant. "It's really unpredictable, too. Usually the mutations are anthropomorphic, but I have seen some animals just stay—animalistic."

"Like those weird squirrel things?"

"Don't remind me. Plus, there was also that freakish parasitic wasp. I wish I understood it."

"Yeah," April sighed. "Well, I'll catch you later, Donnie."

"Want me to walk you home?"

"That's okay."

After saying goodbye to the other turtles, April headed out of the sewers. _I wish I had a mother,_ she thought. _Maybe she could help me figure out just what to do about Donnie. I mean, I really do love him as a friend…I don't want to lead him on, though. And I can't tell my aunt about it, that would be weird._

As she passed the apartment where Satou had just moved in, April mentally slapped herself. She was going to ask Master Splinter whether she should be concerned and she had totally forgotten!

_Stupid boys,_ she thought to herself. _I have way more important things to focus on._


	3. Chapter 3

"Father!"

Two little boys screamed as a cascade of blood spattered their faces. Their father collapsed to the ground in a gory mess.

They looked up at her with pleading in their eyes—their sweet, innocent, brown eyes—and screamed for her to help them.

Then—that voice. The voice she dreaded, the voice she hated.

"In your darkest hour, remember that Hamato Yoshi did this to you."

There was a flash of steel. The boys' screaming ceased. They collapsed to the ground in a vermillion spray.

All she knew was screaming and hate –

With a jolt, Atsuko sat upright in bed. She was still screaming. With a smooth, practiced motion, she whipped out two sai from beneath her pillow and brandished them at nothing.

When she realized that all she could see was the dark solemnity of her bedroom, she forced herself to take several deep breaths. She breathed slowly to the rhythm of the phrase, _It was just a dream_.

She hadn't had one of the nightmares for years. Was it the stress of the move? After all, it was her first night in the apartment.

_It was just a dream. It was just a dream. _

She had practiced years of meditation to block the name Hamato Yoshi from her mind. She had purged the syllables from her memory, or so she had thought. She had done all she could to forget the hatred that name inspired in her, and she nearly succeeded.

_It was just a dream. It was just a dream._

She knew that she would never forget that voice that tormented her. Someday, she would hear that voice scream and beg for mercy. It would receive as much mercy as it had given her.

_It was just a dream. It was just a dream._

Deep breaths sponged away some of the panic from her mind. She rose and lit some incense and began to meditate. Slowly, she allowed the words _Hamato Yoshi_ to fade from her consciousness. Through meditation, she tucked them back into the secret place in her heart where she stored her former life. Likewise, she put away the boys, their father, the blood and the gore, locking them up tightly where she could not see them.

The voice, however, she would allow herself to remember. That voice, and nothing else. Not the name. Not the appearance. Just the voice. If she ever heard it in her waking hours, she would put the spire of her sai straight through the throat of the man who possessed it.

By the time that it was 4:30, Atsuko gave up on any thoughts of going back to sleep. She put on her favorite slippers and walked into the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. Suddenly, a loud burst of noise came from outside her window.

Immediately, she ran to the large philodendron plant that hung in the corner of her kitchen and snatched two sai from beneath the cover of its verdant leaves. Sai at the ready, she advanced toward the window. The racket was actually coming from above. Then, however, she realized that the noise was inside the apartment above her.

She relaxed slightly. The tenant upstairs was probably doing something on the fire escape and had made a lot of noise. Except that the tenant was still being very noisy. Rolling her eyes in disgust, Atsuko hoped that this would not be a regular occurrence. She replaced her back-up sai under the philodendron and went back to the refrigerator.

That was when she realized she had no orange juice.

* * *

Slightly after 7:00, Atsuko locked up her apartment and headed down the stairs. As she went, she nervously tugged at her new clothing. It was her first official day at Advancements as an employee—not just a contractor—and she wanted to be sure that she looked perfect.

Her whole morning had been one long sequence of frustrations. She had already forgotten the nightmare but the loud noises from above were aggravating to her. She loved peace and quiet. The apartment was in disarray with boxes everywhere, she did not get her orange juice, she could not find her kettle and so she did not get her cup of morning tea, either. As she was getting ready for work, she could not find her favorite concealer; of course, today was the one day she woke up with a cherry-red pimple on her chin. She hated it when things were not organized. It made her feel like she was out of control.

Walking down the stairs, she regained some of her confidence when she felt the sai that were snugly concealed at her waist. The weapons gave her a sense of power. She had been powerless once; she never would be again.

Outside the building, she glanced at a kid who waited near the entrance with an old-fashioned bicycle. He looked up at her and flashed a wry grin.

"You must be Red's new neighbor," he said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"April," he replied. "The girl who smashed into you yesterday. She's a little violent. It's 'cause she secretly wants to be a hockey player like me."

"Do you live here too?" Atsuko asked.

"Me? Nah. Red told me about it. I'm just here to pick her up for school."

Atsuko chuckled as she surveyed the bicycle. "On your rusty old two-seat bicycle?"

"I call her _The Heartbreaker. _Sweet ride, huh?"

"Sure," Atsuko said. She checked her watch. "It was nice meeting you. Say hello to your friend April for me, Mr…?"

"Casey Jones," the youth said. "And I'll tell her you said 'hey.'"

As Atsuko walked to the subway station, she started to formulate a theory about the noise that had disturbed her. Stupid teenagers engaging in late night rendezvous was nothing new. This Casey character must have snuck in to pay April an early-morning visit or something. She had no trouble believing that he was capable of causing that much noise.

At that, she tried not to think about relationships and raised the cold barrier that would protect her from the rest of the world for the day. If she never let anyone else in, she would never be hurt again.


	4. Chapter 4

As April walked into the dojo, she whipped out her tessen and struck a pose. "I'm ready for my training today, Master Splinter!" That was when she realized that Splinter was in the middle of meditating. "Oops," she muttered. "Sorry."

Splinter's ears twitched slightly as he resurfaced from his trance. His eyes opened slowly, but when he saw her, he smiled. "Ah, April. How was your day at school, my child?"

"Miserable," April said. "Everyone keeps asking me about why I was gone for so long. I've had to tell the same cover story like, fifteen times every day.

"So…where are the guys?"

"Leonardo has been taking them on training simulations in various parts of the sewers. When they return, I have them review the session and then we work on specific techniques that might have altered the outcome."

"Wow. I guess I missed a lot. I'm really sorry, Master Splinter."

"My child, you followed your heart. And, you learned a valuable lesson that nothing else could ever have taught you."

April smiled. Splinter always seemed to know just what to say.

"Well. Shall we begin our warm-ups?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you a question first."

"Of course."

"I have a new neighbor that moved in downstairs yesterday. She's Japanese—I'm kind of worried that she might be connected with the Foot Clan."

Splinter raised an eyebrow. "Simply because she is Japanese?"

"Well, and that vacancy just opened a couple of weeks ago. It seems like it would be very convenient for Shredder to put in a plant."

"Indeed," Splinter said, stroking his beard. "What do your instincts tell you?"

April sighed. "That's the thing, Sensei. It makes practical sense, but I get the feeling that I'm just being paranoid."

"Mmm. It is always good for the ninja – and kunoichi – to be very cautious. However, caution should not interrupt the activities of your daily life."

"So, should I be worried?"

"Not worried. But maintain awareness at all times, and be ready to respond."

"Well, her name is Satou Atsuko. Does that sound familiar?"

April was surprised when Splinter chuckled. "Ah, April. Satou is a familial name which is very common in Japan. It would be equivalent to, say, 'Smith' or 'Johnson' in America. A link is highly unlikely. Maintain awareness and trust your instincts, and you should be fine."

"Thank you, Sensei," April said. A wave of relief washed over her. If Splinter wasn't worried, then she should be all right.

They practiced several warm-ups and katas before the loud sound of Michelangelo whooping alerted them to the turtles' return. The four of them moved across the lair to the dojo with all the grace of a rampaging elephant.

Michelangelo was the first to walk in. "Wassup!" he crowed, flashing April a double thumbs-up. His gigantic grin made his freckled cheeks stand out. He redirected his thumbs to his chest. "Let me tell you, turtle got style!"

"It's 'has,' Mikey," Donatello said wearily, as he entered the room. "Not 'got.'"

Mikey gestured toward Donatello. "Turtle got issues."

Donnie looked up and rolled his eyes—and then realized that April was in the room. Predictably, his voice leapt up and octave. "April! Uh, hey!"

"Stop blocking traffic!" Raphael growled, knocking Donnie out of the way.

A tired-looking Leonardo was the last to enter the room. He smiled slightly when he saw April standing there and waved. "Good to see you're back for training again," he said.

April just smiled in response. Leo was like the big brother she had never had. Being an only child had been so hard—especially after her mother died. Besides, the two of them had a special trust system. When Leo had come to her about his feelings for Karai, she had felt honored by his trust—in addition to disgusted by his naiveté. The two of them were also the most mature of Splinter's students, and so a simple glance was often enough to communicate a shared annoyance regarding the other three.

"My sons," Splinter said warmly. "How was your training today?"

"Awesome!" Mikey said. "I totally whipped Darth-a-tello's shell!"

In response to Splinter's raised eyebrow, Leonardo explained. "We were doing one-man infiltration scenarios. Surprisingly, Mikey did the best of all of us."

"Yeah! It was like I was a rebel breaking into the evil empire's stronghold…"

"Hence the incredibly stupid name 'Darth-a-tello,'" sighed Donnie.

"And why do you think it is that you did best, Michelangelo?" Splinter asked.

"'Cause I'm super awesome." Mikey did a backflip and struck a pose with his nunchuks. "I'm a natural, Sensei."

All of the other turtles rolled their eyes.

"Mmm," said Splinter. "Why do the rest of you think that is?"

Raphael, arms folded, looked at the floor. "Dunno," he said. "He had good luck today."

Leonardo stood thoughtfully for a moment. "Mikey is the most agile of us. No question he's fast. That may have given him the advantage."

"Oh yeah!" Mikey crowed.

"Yeah, but he's also the clumsiest," growled Raphael.

"Hey!"

"And why do you think it is, Donatello?" Splinter asked.

Donnie sighed. "It's because the rest of us are compromised, Sensei."

"What?" shouted Leo and Raph in unison.

"Well, no offense to Mikey—okay, maybe some—but in a normal situation Raph or Leo would have come out with the best results. But all of us are compromised in some way. I'm still having some trouble with this arm, and I'm really allowing myself to be distracted by all of my lab work."

"Oh yeah?" snapped Raphael. "And how exactly am _I_ compromised?"

Donnie hesitated. "I think you're still processing—what happened when my arm got hurt."

"Wait, you got hurt?" April said. A surge of concern rushed through her.

"A dislocation and major sprain," Donnie said. "Nothing permanent."

"Well, what about me?" Leo asked reproachfully.

Donnie looked straight at Leo. "I don't know," he said. "But something is bothering you. Raph and Mikey have noticed, too."

Raphael had fallen silent and sullen, but Mikey piped up. "Yeah, Leo. I just thought that maybe it was a bad burrito or something, though."

April looked around at the turtles. She immediately realized Donnie was right. Leo did seem preoccupied, and Raphael was clearly very upset about something. In the weeks since she had started talking to the turtles again, she had only come a handful of times. "Did something bad happen?"

At that, Raphael got up and left the dojo. Master Splinter did not stop him.

"What's going on?" April asked.

Leo hung his head. "Spike got mutated a few days ago—he kind of went crazy and tried to kill the three of us. Raph had to fight him off."

April felt as though her stomach had been plunged into ice. "Poor Raphael," she whispered.

"I will go speak with him in a moment," Splinter said.

"So, not to be insensitive or anything," Mikey said, "but are you guys saying that my success today was just a mistake?"

Master Splinter walked over to Michelangelo and put his hands on his shoulders. "It was no mistake, my son. You alone have not allowed your training to be affected by the events happening around you. You did well."

Michelangelo whirled around. "Hah! See, Donnie?"

Donatello rolled his eyes. Leonardo and Splinter hung their heads in defeat.

After that, Splinter dismissed training and went after Raphael. Leonardo decided that he wanted to sit and meditate for a while, and Michelangelo wanted to practice his break dancing in the other room.

"So, April," Donnie asked, as they walked out of the dojo, "do you have to go tutor Casey today?"

"No," April said. Honestly, she was disappointed. She had come to look forward to her study sessions with Casey, even though they ended up doing more chatting than actual studying. "But he came to walk me to school today." April thought she heard Donnie squeak, but he suddenly started coughing. "You okay, Donnie?"

"Yeah," rasped Donnie. "Just…think I'm coming down with a cold. Since you're not busy, do you, uh, want to hang out?"

April hesitated. _Why not? _she asked herself. _You're friends with him, why not hang out?_

A small voice inside of her warned her about not leading him on.

"Maybe some other time, Donnie," April said. "I have lots of homework." She felt horribly guilty as she watched Donnie's spirits deflate. "But tell you what—how about all you guys come by my place tonight after sundown? I should have all my work done by then, and Dad will be out doing his thing. I'll order pizza and we can all play some games."

Donnie smiled. "Sounds great, April."

April could tell from his tone that he didn't think it was as great as just hanging out with her one on one, but if she wanted to keep being friends with Donnie and not hurt his feelings she needed to keep him at arms' length. Besides, she wanted all of the turtles to have a great time so that they could get past this whole mess with Spike. "Great!" she chirped, covering up her inward concerns with a smile. "I'll see you guys then. I need to hit the library."

"Oh, if you're going to the library, can you see if they have any books on linear algebra? I could use a refresher if I'm going to be building this new computer from the ground up."

"You use algebra to make computers?" April asked.

"Oh yeah," Donnie said. "Long binary sequences are hard to solve without matrices. Also, if you have a graphing calculator I could borrow, that would be great. Mikey kind of smashed my old one. It only gave answers in reverse polar notation though, so it wasn't much of a loss."

April felt a surge of affection for Donnie. He reminded her so much of her dad, who also had a tendency to answer short questions with long answers. "I'll see what I can do. See you tonight?"

"See you tonight!"

As April left the lair, she decided she would go to the drugstore and get some ibuprofen and a heating pad for Donnie's sore arm. She smiled to herself as she imagined his reaction. He would probably blush and stammer adorably…

_Wait. Adorably?_

At that moment, April realized that she actually enjoyed Donnie's attentions. She liked feeling special and wanted. And yet…he was a turtle, he was just her friend, and besides, she liked Casey.

_Wait. Casey?_

The thought had come out of nowhere. Did she really like him?

_This is stupid, _April thought_. No wonder my aunt never got married. It's too complicated. _

For the second time in twenty-four hours, April longed for someone she could talk to about this. Maybe then she could get past it and just focus on her life.

* * *

Exhausted, Satou Atsuko entered her apartment. The setting sun cast orange-red patches of light across her apartment. Her collection of weapons gleamed beautifully.

She put away a few groceries, including several large bottles of orange juice and a six-pack of beer. With a groan, she took one of the beers and sat down heavily onto the couch. She pulled out one of her sai and used the handle guard to pop off the cap of the beer bottle.

She frowned as she sipped at the bitter, grainy liquid. She had never really liked the stuff, but it was cheap. She had developed a habit of drinking one in the evening to help her relax. Once upon a time, it would have been her bringing a small cup of sweet warmed sake to her husband.

Sweet warmed sake. Cold bitter beer. Companionship versus loneliness.

She never allowed herself to get drunk. She hated drunkenness. It brought up her past demons to haunt her. But the tiny amount of alcohol in her bloodstream allowed her to relax enough to where she could meditate. She knew that she should be able to meditate without the assistant of adult beverages. But her life had been hard enough. Why not make it a little easier on herself?

Just as she was starting to unwind, the same loud noise came from upstairs, accompanied by a bizarre screech.

_That's it,_ she thought. _I'm calling the landlord. _

Author's note:

I do not believe that drinking alcohol in moderation is immoral. However, only people who are legally old enough to drink alcohol should drink it. Also, drinking alcohol during pregnancy is the leading cause of birth defects in the United States of America. Don't mix alcohol with pregnancy. To learn more about the harmful effects of drinking while pregnant, go to wiki/Fetal_alcohol_syndrome


	5. Chapter 5

"Knock knock, April!"

When she heard Mikey's voice, April hurried to finish the last preparations for their get-together. It was only a matter of moments before she was at the fire escape. "Hey guys!" she said. "Come on in!"

"So, how's it going?" asked Leo.

"Yeah…we are going to need to keep it down tonight. Apparently my Dad was a little noisy earlier, and one of the other tenants called to complain. We'll get fined if there's another complaint."

"Oh," said Donnie. "Are you sure you want us here, then?"

"Heck yeah," said April. "I've got some games set up and everything. Have you guys ever played Twister?"

They had a good evening. April had some of her favorite music playing at a low volume, they ate pizza until they were practically sick, and they discovered that Mountain Dew should be a controlled substance as far as Mikey was concerned. April honestly didn't think she had had this much fun in weeks. When they finally started playing games, she was happier than she had been since the whole Technodrome mess.

_I'm so glad I let go of my grudge,_ she thought, as she and Raphael tumbled to the ground during a wild round of Twister. She was laughing so hard, and Raphael even was laughing to the point of tears in his eyes. After seeing him so upset earlier, it was great to see him cutting loose. _It turns out that they needed me as much as I needed them. _ When Mikey and Leo became ridiculously entangled, Raph jokingly asked if the two of them needed a minute alone. Everyone erupted in laughter.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

"Oh, crap!" April muttered. "We're being too loud." She ran over to the phone and picked it up. "Hello?" she asked nervously. The turtles tensed up in a cringe of anticipation.

_"Hey, Red!"_

"Oh! Hey, Casey!" April covered the mouthpiece with her hands. "It's not the landlord," she whispered.

All of the turtles relaxed, but April couldn't help but notice how Donnie's expression drooped.

_"So, guess where I am right now?"_ asked Casey.

"Uh…at the hockey rink?" April guessed.

_"No! I'm outside your apartment building! Want to get some chow?"_

"Wait…you're outside?"

_"Yeah! Why don't you come on down?"_

"Uh…sounds great, but I can't."

_"Oh, come on, Miss Recluse."_

"Sorry, Casey. Some other time."

_"What about a movie on Friday?"_

April's heart leapt. Was he asking her on a date? She felt her face flush. She kind of giggled. "Wow, that sounds like fun. What did you want to see?"

_"I was thinkin' that new superhero movie. Thought you'd like it, since all the ladies say that the lead actor is super hot and all."_

At that, April laughed. "And what's in it for you? Does the movie have any eye candy in it for you to stare at?"

_"Oh, I think I'll have something beautiful to look at, all right."_

April's face grew hotter. Was he talking about her? "Oh," she stammered. Her stomach flopped.

_"So…pick you up at 6:30 on Friday?"_

"Yeah," said April, somewhat dreamily. "See you then, Jones."

_"Bye, Red."_

_Click. _

April closed her eyes as she replaced the phone on its cradle. She was dreading turning around to see all four turtles glaring at her indignantly. If they all thought she liked Donnie…and then was running around with some other guy…

When she turned around, all of the turtles except Donnie were grinning widely at her. Donnie finally managed a strained smile.

"Sounds like you got a stalker, April!" Michelangelo said.

"Yeah, April," Leo said.

"You want us to beat him up for you?" Raph said, punching his fist into his hand.

"Come on, spill the beans!" Mikey said.

April felt very embarrassed. "There really aren't any beans to spill," she said. "My friend" – she emphasized the word – "Casey wants to see the new superhero movie this weekend. He asked me to come with him."

"I wish we could go see a movie in an actual theatre," Raph said with a sigh. "Donnie, why haven't you built us a theatre yet?"

"Maybe because I'm working on important things, like finding a cure for April's Dad," Donnie said. He put a slight emphasis on the last phrase, as though he were trying to communicate to April that while he might not be able to take her to the movies, he was doing everything he could to make her happy again.

April felt a little guilty. But why shouldn't she be able to hang out with other friends? And Casey _was_ just a friend. Donnie had no reason to be jealous. Besides, Donnie was just a friend, too.

…wasn't he?

April tried to change the subject. "Well, maybe we'll have to work on sneaking you guys into a theatre sometime," she said.

"You really mean it?" Mikey asked, eyes shining.

"Well, you are ninjas," April said. "Sneaking around is your thing."

"True," Raph said, grinning mischievously.

"Wouldn't that be stealing?" asked Leo.

"I could buy extra tickets," April said.

"Sweet! We're going to the movies on Friday!" shouted Mikey.

"Oh…well, I was thinking it would be just me and Casey this time."

"We understand, April," Leo said. "You don't want to explain to your human friend why you're sneaking giant turtles in and out of the theatre."

"Yeah," said April, chuckling. "That could be awkward. Speaking of awkward, anyone want to play another round of Twister?"

Leo, Raph, and Mikey cheered.

"My arm's feeling kind of sore," Donnie said heavily. "I'll sit this one out."

April felt terrible when she saw Donnie's expression. He was so terrible at hiding his feelings. She suspected that his arm wasn't the only thing bothering him. "That reminds me, Donnie. I got you some things at the drugstore today." She ran to retrieve the ibuprofen and heating pad. "This should help your stiff muscles."

Donnie's face lit up. "Wow, April," he said. "Thanks!"

"Anything for a friend," April said. After Donnie had taken some painkillers, April helped him get comfy on the sofa with the heating pad. His face reddened as she stood close to him.

_Oh, Donnie,_ April thought. _If only you weren't a turtle._

Wait a second. Where did _that _thought come from?

"All right!" she said, wheeling around, trying to push the thought from her mind. "More Twister!"

As they started a new round, April lost herself in the fun of it and forgot all of the earlier awkwardness. When the turtles finally left around midnight, she sighed contentedly. _God,_ she thought, _if You're up there, thank you for my friends._

* * *

A clatter on above fire escape woke Atsuko up. She glanced at the alarm clock.

_It's midnight,_ she thought angrily. She got out of bed and threw on a robe and slippers. _That does it. If they won't listen to the landlord, maybe they will listen to me._

With that, she stormed upstairs in nothing but her pajamas and robe and knocked violently on her upstairs neighbor's door.

After a delay, the door opened slightly. April, the young girl that she had bumped into the other day, stood looking out. "Can I help you?" she asked somewhat timidly.

"Yes. Are your parents home?" Atsuko snapped.

"No," April said. "My dad works the night shift."

"What about your mom?"

"We lost her a long time ago."

That startled Atsuko. The maternal instincts that she had worked for years and years to quell started waking up. No mother figure and hardly any time around her father? No wonder the girl was acting out. She was probably lonely. Atsuko suddenly wanted to throw her arms around the girl and tell her it was okay.

"I'm sorry," Atsuko said softly. "I didn't realize. I just wanted to ask if you could try to be more quiet. I've heard a lot of noises coming from upstairs."

"Sorry about that," April said nervously. She seemed to be searching for a cover story.

Atsuko cut her off. "It's fine. Just try to be quieter in the future."

"Okay. Sorry, Satou-san."

Atsuko smiled at the use of the honorific. "Tell you what, April. Why don't you come have a cup of tea with me sometime?"

April smiled slightly. "I'd like that," she said, somewhat shyly.

"Good night."

"Good night."

As Atsuko headed down the stairs, she cursed herself for not being firmer. She had promised herself never to get close to another human being, and here she was, trying to make friends with a noisy juvenile delinquent. And why? Because she felt sorry for her.

Feeling sorry for others was something that Atsuko had sworn off of forever. She never felt sorry for herself. Why should she feel that way about anyone else?

As she crawled back into bed, she prayed that her newly reawakened maternal impulses would not make her dream about the boys again. Gripping the handles of the sai beneath her pillow, she drifted back off into sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

_Well,_ thought Atsuko, as she rode the subway home, _that was the longest week of my life._

She was so grateful that it was Friday; she would have Saturday and Sunday to recuperate from the stress of her first week on the job. Also, she would be able to get more unpacking done.

The lurching stop-and-go motion of the train eerily paralleled her emotions about being here in America. The exhilarating acceleration reminded her of how she felt when she learned she could finally leave Japan; the lunch-tossing stops seemed to tell her that she could never fully abandon her past. She had been flying away from and lurching back towards the dark past for fifteen years.

Would she really ever be free?

When she walked in the door of her apartment, she was greeted by the brilliance of her weapon collection. Sai, tessens, bo-staffs, nunchuks, katanas, shurikens, spears, maces, scythes, and scores of other traditional weapons seemed to welcome her home. They were her pride and joy, her safety net, her defense.

She knew how to use every single one of them. She could be lethal even if all she had was a teaspoon. But her time in Okinawa had taught her to adore the sai; she had poured all of the emotions from trauma into learning the art of handling them.

After a light supper and some meditating, Atsuko started to unpack her belongings. Predictably, around sundown, the horrible racket arose from above. With a growl, she grabbed her sai and crawled out onto the fire escape to see exactly what it was that the stupid teenager was doing that caused this.

At first, she didn't see anything. But then, a huge, grotesque shape emerged from the window and onto the fire escape above.

When it turned to look at her, Atsuko could not suppress a small scream.

* * *

"That was pretty great," Casey said.

"No kidding!" April said. "They've been putting out some really good superhero movies lately."

April and Casey were walking home from the movie. It had been a fun evening.

"So, did you enjoy your eye candy?" Casey asked.

April laughed. "He was pretty hot, all right."

"Yeah," Casey joked, "I mean, I like girls, don't get me wrong. But that dude was ripped. I mean, his pecs were so huge that his boobs were bigger than the lead actress's boobs!"

April nearly doubled over with laughter. "You're terrible, Jones!"

"Yeah, I know."

They chatted happily the rest of the way home; discussing the movie's plot, flaws, and their favorite parts. To April, the walk seemed to end too soon. Talking to Casey seemed to come naturally now; she loved his twisted sense of humor. When they stood on the front steps to her apartment, she paused. In all of the movies, this would be when the guy stooped in to give the girl a kiss. Her heart fluttered at the thought. Did she even want him to kiss her?

"Well, Jones," April said. "I had a great time. We'll catch another movie sometime, okay?"

"Aw," Casey replied, making an exaggerated face of disappointment. "It's only nine. Maybe we could go up to your apartment for a game of cards or something?"

Warning bells immediately started going off in April's head. In the movies, generally the "game of cards" or whatever excuse turned into something…else. She definitely didn't want that.

"Uh…well, no one else is home, so it's probably not a good idea…" she stammered.

"What, you're not allowed to have friends over when no one else is home? Geez, Red."

_Friends. _April had invited the turtles over not even a few days ago, and that had been all right. But it was a group gathering. Casey had just reinforced that he wanted to be her friend in this situation, not anything more. She flinched at what her dad would think if she was having boys over while she was at home alone. But the turtles were different…it had been all of them, and they were like brothers.

Casey suddenly raised his eyebrows. "Oh, dude," he said. He held out his hands in front of him and shook his head. "You think I'm trying to put the moves on you, don't you?"

April blushed. "It had crossed my mind," she muttered.

"Geez, Red. Casey Jones doesn't work like that. Not on the first date."

"So," April said, blushing even more deeply. "This was a date, huh?"

Casey grinned. "It is if you want it to be," he said in his cheesiest-charming tone.

April folded her arms somewhat defensively. If not on the first date, when? If she started to date him, would he eventually put pressure on her? She thought of the senior who had dropped out a couple of years ago because she had gotten pregnant—her boyfriend had pressured her into it and then as soon as she found out she was pregnant, he broke up with her. That wasn't what she wanted, ever.

Casey frowned slightly. He seemed to be reading her mind. "Take it easy, April," he said. His tone was so serious and matter-of-fact that it startled her. "You probably won't believe it, but I'm actually kind of old fashioned. Well, at least when it comes to…that."

"Really?" April said.

"Yeah," Casey said. "I swear. I mean, why would I want to share…_that_ with somebody I don't know I'm gonna be with forever? You'll probably laugh, but I would want to be married before I'd do that with somebody. I know that sounds lame."

Suddenly, April felt elated. "It's not lame," she said, relaxing her posture. "I feel the same way."

Casey smiled. "One of my ex-girlfriends didn't. That's why she's my ex."

"Now you're saying that I'm your girlfriend?" she asked, in a flirty tone that seemed completely foreign coming out of her mouth.

"Only if you want me to be," he said, grinning devilishly.

April felt a zing of energy fly up her spine. Excitement and caution competed for precedence in her mind. "I'll get back to you on that," she said, giggling like an idiot.

Casey nodded. "I'm in no hurry."

With a huge grin, April started to walk up the stairs. "I guess we could play a round of cards. But I'll warn you, I'm pretty awesome at Slap Jack."

"Ninja reflexes, no doubt," Casey said. "But if it's Slap Jack you want, you better book a room at the hospital 'cause I play it hockey-style."

"You're on, Jones."

They walked up to April's third-floor apartment. She unlocked the door, still feeling nervous about having Casey over, when suddenly her heart stopped.

Her father was lying in a heap on the living room floor, moaning in agony. A puddle of blood had collected on the floor beside him. He looked up at her, tears streaming from his eyes.

"What the—" Casey leapt in front of April, thinking to protect her. "Stay back!"

April lost all awareness of the situation around her. There was nothing but her and her dad. "Dad!" she screamed, pushing past Casey and running over to the side of the injured mutant bat.

"Dad? _Dad_?" Casey muttered in awe. "What the…?"

**Dah dah dah...the plot thickens. **


	7. Chapter 7

"Oh, Daddy," April whispered, kneeling down next to her mutated father. "Daddy, what happened?"

With a moan, her father partially extended one of his wings. The delicate membrane was in tattered shreds. The fleshy parts of his wing had been cut too.

Tears streaming from her eyes, April looked up into her dad's face. That was when she noticed a strip of fabric was stuck on one of his large teeth, and he also had some blood around his mouth. "Daddy, did you get into a fight?"

He seemed to understand the question. With a guilty expression, he hung his head.

"Holy cow."

The sound of Casey's voice snapped April back into the present. She whirled around to see him, still standing in the doorway, staring with wide eyes at the mutant on the floor.

April started crying in earnest. "Laugh if you want, Jones. Leave if you want. I don't care. You wanted to know my secrets? This is one of them."

Casey still seemed to be in shock. "Your dad is some kind of mutant monster?"

"Yes!" April shouted.

"That is…totally awesome!"

"It is not!" April sobbed. "And he's hurt. Get out of here! I need to get help for him."

"I'll help," Casey said. "I know a lot about first aid."

"For mutants?" April cried. "I don't think so. I'm telling you, get out." She grabbed her t-phone out of her bag and hit her speed dial for Donnie.

_"H-h-hi, April—I mean, uh, hey…"_

"Donnie! Shut up! My dad is hurt really badly! I don't know what happened!"

Donnie's voice suddenly became distant, as if he were holding the phone away from his mouth. _"Leo! Turn the Shellraiser around! April's dad is hurt!"_ She could hear some muttering in the background, then his voice returned to full volume. _"Calm down, April. We'll be there shortly. We're out on patrol and most of my med stuff is back at the lair. Until then…is he bleeding?"_

"Yeah."

_"Apply pressure to the site of the injury, and try to keep him warm. Keep his head above his heart, too. He isn't in shock, is he?" _

April switched her t-phone to speaker and set it on the ground. "I don't think so." She set about trying to shift her dad into a safer position.

April distinctly heard Raphael's voice in the background. _"Geez, Leo, are you trying to kill us?!"_

_"We'll be there soon," _Donnie repeated.

"Hurry, Donnie," April pleaded.

_"We're almost to the lair. I've got to let you go while I get my med kit. We'll be there soon, okay?"_

"Okay."

The phone's screen lit up and the call ended.

"You're sure you don't need help?" Casey asked.

April wheeled around. "I told you to get out of here!"

"Like I'm leaving you when you're like this, Red! You can't move him on your own."

April paused for one moment to evaluate Casey's reaction. He acted as though there was nothing bizarre about this situation—and he seemed eager to help.

"Fine," April said. "I'm going to get a blanket. We need to get his head above his heart and apply pressure to the wound."

"I'm on it," Casey replied. Without flinching, he went over to April's dad and started to get him situated. When April returned with the blanket, she found that Casey had stretched her dad out in a standard first-aid position with his head elevated on several pillows. In response to her wondering look, he said, "I took Red Cross lifesaving training at camp this summer."

April laid the blanket over her dad. "It's going to be okay, Daddy," she said.

"I don't think your dad likes me," Casey said. "He growled at me."

"He just…doesn't like strangers," April replied.

"So…are you half mutant or something?"

"No. He got mutated…it's a long story…"

"Gotcha. So who's Donnie?"

"Well, he's…"

A loud tapping came from the window in the other room.

"…here. Keep pressure on the wound." April got up and ran to answer the window. Leo, Raph, Donnie, and Mikey all stood there with nervous expressions on their faces. "Thank goodness you guys are here!"

"Where is he?" Donnie asked.

"Living room." The five of them hurried out into the living room—and four of them stopped short and leapt back into the other room when they saw Casey. "He's here to help, guys," April said in a low voice. "I don't care if he sees you."

"What if we care?" Raph growled.

"He's already seen my dad, been attacked by Footbots and Donnie's monster."

"Timothy isn't a monster," Donnie whispered defensively.

"Are you going to help my dad or not?" April hissed.

At that, Donnie stepped out into the room and headed over to where April's dad lay on the floor. The other three lingered in the doorway, watching cautiously.

Casey looked up Donnie with surprise. "Wow, Red," he said. "How many monsters do you have running around?"

"Nice to meet you too," Donnie said curtly.

"Donnie, this is Casey. Casey, Donnie. Now can we please do something about my dad?"

Donnie immediately got down on his knees and opened up his kit. "Take it easy, Mr. O'Neil," he said. "We'll get you fixed up."

April stood back and watched with apprehension as Donnie worked. She was surprised at how he and Casey worked together so well; Casey obediently did everything Donatello asked him to do, without comment. They seemed to have forgotten about each other—and anything else. Both of them were so zeroed in on helping her dad that neither of them noticed when the other turtles ventured into the room to watch.

Once the bleeding had slowed and the major injuries dressed, Casey looked up at Donnie. "I don't know much about mutant medicine," Casey said, "but that wing looks pretty wrecked."

Donnie sighed. "I might be able to culture a skin graft," he said. "But it will be pretty tricky. Once he stops bleeding, April, I'll have to get him back to my lab."

"You have a lab?" Casey cried, once again getting the fanatic look on his face. "Freakin' sweet! It's like I've walked into some crazy monster movie!"

"Ease up on the word 'monster,' why don't you," Raphael growled angrily.

Casey looked up at the three other turtles standing a few paces away. "Dude! There's more of you. You're like…some kind of teenage mutant ninja turtles or something!"

"Or something," muttered Donatello as he put the finishing touches on Mr. O'Neil's bandages. "April, your dad needs to rest, okay? We are going to move him onto his bed."

"It will be the first time he's used it for a while," April said. "He normally just hangs from the rafters."

Casey laughed.

"Hey!" shouted Raph.

"Yeah, show some respect!" Leo snapped.

"Not cool," Mikey added.

"Sorry," Casey said, still smiling. "It's a bit hard to process. You need help carrying him?"

"We got it, thanks," Donnie said coldly. The four turtles gently carried April's dad into the other room, leaving Casey and April momentarily alone.

"So…are these those friends you were on the outs with?" Casey asked.

April was dumbfounded. "None of this disturbs you even a little tiny bit?"

"Are you kidding? This is super awesome! Your life is so interesting!"

"I wish it were a little more boring," April sighed.

"Dude, you have giant turtles for friends. I wish I had giant turtles for friends."

April couldn't stop herself from laughing. The tension was finally winding down. She started to feel like everything was going to be okay. "Well," she said, "maybe I can arrange that."

* * *

Atsuko sat naked in her bathtub, pouring hydrogen peroxide over the bite wound on her shoulder.

Once, when she was a little girl, she had been bitten by a neighbor's dog and thought it was excruciating. Now, she thought she knew what it might feel like to be attacked by a tiger. The fangs had punctured deep into her flesh; the skin around the wound was purpling into a hideous bruise.

Her mind was reeling. What was that thing? When it heard her scream it screeched and swooped down on her. It had tried to lift her up into the air, but her reflexes and her sai made it drop her. Once injured, the beast seemed to have gone completely mad. That was when it had sunk its vicious fangs into her shoulder.

But Satou Atsuko had fangs, too—her sai had flashed in the sunset, striking the creature repeatedly until it released her. It had crawled, moaning, back up the fire escape and into the apartment above.

Atsuko had simply lain dazed on the fire escape, dripping blood onto the ground below, clutching at her wound, and praying that she would just wake up from this nightmare.

But years of nightmares had taught her the difference between dreams and waking. Finally, she got up and stumbled into the bathroom, grabbed her first aid kit, stripped naked, and climbed into the bathtub so that she wouldn't get blood everywhere.

Hydrogen peroxide was the first step. Miraculously, the fangs didn't seem to have torn through any of her muscles. Though it was excruciatingly painful, she still had full motility of her shoulder. She cringed as she watch the peroxide bubble and hiss as it made contact with the wound; after waiting a minute, she gently washed the bite with soap and water, then treated it with more hydrogen peroxide.

She took a towel and wrapped it around the bite, applying pressure as much as she could. She took a hint of satisfaction in knowing that she had dealt the creature far more damage than it had given her. Still, she was worried about diseases. She had recently had a tetanus shot, but the thing did seem mammalian. What if it had rabies? Should she go to the emergency room?

What would she even tell the triage nurse? That she got bitten by a giant bearded bat thing?

She also thought about calling the police to report the animal. Again, what would she tell them? That April girl could be in danger—but then Atsuko realized that this animal was what had been making the noise all week long. Obviously the girl was keeping the animal as a pet of some kind.

But when Atsuko thought of the poor motherless teen she couldn't bring herself to send the police in. If the animal was April's pet, she had nearly killed it, nearly taken away what was probably the poor girl's only comfort. Why make it worse by calling the police?

Atsuko hated the feelings of empathy that surged through her. These idiotic feelings kept her from thinking straight. Feelings were what made her weak. They were what had made her vulnerable to _him._ It wasn't until she had shut down all emotion that she was able to escape months and months of torment at his hands…

Abruptly, she slapped herself across the face. _Don't think about that,_ she said to herself. _Not now. It's just the physical pain. Just breathe. Breathe and go get vaccinated._

But all that Atsuko could do was sit in the tub; naked, shivering, trembling, and paralyzed by fear, she whimpered softly as she watched the nightmarish vision before her waking eyes.

Her husband, dead. Her sons, dead.

And then _him._

_"In your darkest hour, remember that Hamato Yoshi did this to you."_

Then, tears streaming down her face, Satou Atsuko lost consciousness and fell into dreams of rape and torment.


	8. Chapter 8

April woke up with an ungodly pain in her back. Sleeping on the turtles' dilapidated couch was a poor decision. She changed positions, hoping to get more comfortable, and she was surprised to see the television on. The volume was so low April could hardly hear it. The commercial ended and _Space Heroes_ came on.

Leonardo entered the den from the kitchen holding a bowl of cereal in one hand. "Oh. Sorry, April," he said through a mouthful of cereal. "I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"That's fine, Leo," April said. She sat up. "I actually woke up because my back hurt."

Leo grinned slightly. "Nice thing about being a turtle—your shell provides all the back support you need."

"I'll have to ask Donnie to see about building me a shell, then. Are you always up this early?"

Leo crunched on another spoonful of cereal before replying. He came and sat down on the opposite end of the couch. "They switched the air time of _Space Heroes_ reruns, so I've been getting up early since then. It's actually kind of nice to watch without Raphael providing commentary in the background. How's your dad doing?"

"Well, two hours or so ago Donnie and I checked on him again. Aside from the wing, he seems to be okay."

Leo shook his head. "I'm really sorry we have to keep him tranquilized, April. I'm really sorry about all of this. If only we hadn't—well, I'm just really sorry."

"Is that why you've been so…pensive?"

"What do you mean?"

"Look, Leo. I know you. Donnie said you haven't been yourself and I agree with him. What's going on?"

Leo sighed. "A lot."

"You want to talk about it?"

Leo poked around at his cereal bowl. "It's hard to be responsible for everything," he said. "And…well you heard that Karai thinks Splinter killed her mom, right?"

"Yeah. That's got to be a lie Shredder told her."

"Oh, it is. I asked Splinter about it. We all did. He said that it was a lie. But I kept asking him about it…and now I know something about Karai that I didn't before."

"What is it?"

"I told Master Splinter that I would keep it a secret. He's trusting me, April. But I wish he'd tell the others, too. So now not only am I the responsible one, I've got to deal with this secret on my own. He won't talk to me about it anymore. It just upsets him too much."

April patted Leo's should consolingly as he ate another spoonful of cereal.

"And then…never mind, it's stupid."

"No. Tell me, Leo. You know I won't tell anyone."

Leo sighed. "I had tea with this little girl."

"Yeah, Raph mentioned that. He also mentioned that the 'tea' was mutagen."

"It was. So I guess you could say I stopped a girl from having tea. She was like—maybe six years old or something. She wanted me to stay and have pretend tea with her, and so I did. I was freaking out the whole time, though, just waiting for her dad or mom to come in and start screaming."

"I would be too."

"Well, I just can't stop thinking about that little girl. I mean, she was really cute. And she was so innocent! She didn't have a clue that a talking turtle with swords might be dangerous. And then I think about that picture of Miwa that Splinter has. I think about how much Splinter loved her. How much your dad loves you. And—I mean, a huge part of ninjutsu is that it is generational."

"I'm not sure what you're getting at, Leo," April said.

"I'll never get to have a daughter, April," Leo said with a sigh. He put his half empty cereal bowl on the ground and held his head in his hands. "Not to sound like Donnie, but there's no one on the planet I'd be genetically compatible with."

April nearly felt tears coming on. Poor Leo! She didn't realize that Leo even wanted kids. She felt guilty for being surprised by it—how could it not have occurred to her that maybe the turtles wanted ordinary lives too? She knew that they got crushes, but she was ashamed to think that she had never asked her friends about their hopes for the future. "Well, maybe you could adopt."

Leo chuckled. "You mean kidnap? Because without getting legal paperwork done, that's what it would be. No social worker is going to let a turtle adopt a kid."

"Leo, I'm sorry."

Leo shrugged. "I've got _Space Heroes_, Splinter, ninjutsu, and awesome brothers." He nudged April slightly. "Plus I've got a great friend. That's enough for anyone to be happy."

April chuckled slightly. "I notice you put _Space Heroes_ first."

With a huge grin, Leo picked up his cereal bowl again. "I never said I had my priorities straight," he said, shoveling down a mouthful of cereal. "So what about you and that Casey guy?"

April blushed. "We're friends."

"I got that already, thanks."

"Well, what do you want to know?"

"When we first saw him—back when we were trying to stop Pulverizer from stalking you—we kinda thought he was your boyfriend."

"Yeah, but I told you I was just tutoring him."

"And going to see movies with him."

"I would go see movies with you too!"

Leo smiled gently. "I get it, April. I do. But let me tell you something. A while back, you kissed Donnie on the cheek."

"My dad kisses my aunt…" April muttered defensively.

"Look. I know and you know that you think of us like your brothers. But Donnie…he could get the wrong message from something like that. He's kind of the world's stupidest genius."

April felt her whole face get hot.

"I think it's great that Casey is your friend, April. I think it's pretty awesome how relaxed he is about mutants. But I get the idea that you really _like_ him. And that's cool. Just don't…ah, I don't know how to say it."

The two of them sat in silence for a moment, watching the TV as Captain Ryan lost his shirt during an intense hand-to-hand combat scene.

Suddenly, Leo put his hand on April's shoulder. "Don't mess with my brother's head, April. He deserves that much. Okay?"

April stared at Leo like a deer in the headlights. "I—Leo, I didn't mean to."

Leo nodded. "I know."

As Leo finished up his bowl of cereal, April sat there feeling foolish and guilty. After several minutes of silence, April stood up. "I'm going to check on Dad," she said.

Leo stood and gave April a quick hug. "I'm really glad you're talking to us again. I love you like you're one of my brothers, April."

Startled, April awkwardly returned the embrace. "So…like a sister?"

Leo laughed. "Yeah, that."

As April walked toward Donnie's lab, she felt like crying. When she came in, she saw Donnie asleep at his desk with a timer running, probably so that he would remember to wake up and check on her dad every now and then. She sat down next to her mutant father and laid her head on his chest.

"Daddy," she whispered. "What was Mom like? I barely remember her. Was she a good listener? Did she give good advice? Would she have been able to help me figure out this stupid mess?"

Slowly, April drifted into sleep, listening to the lullaby of her father's heartbeat.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, read, favorited or followed this story. Booyakasha! Now, it's time for chapter 9...**

April's back ached as she climbed the stairs to her apartment. As much as she wished she could stay at the lair all weekend, she knew that she had to come home to check voicemail. Saturdays were also the day that she made sure that all of their bills were paid. She felt a little guilty forging her dad's signature on the checks, but it was necessary. She wanted to keep the apartment so that when everything was back to normal, they would have somewhere to live.

Normal. April laughed at the word. Even if Donnie did perfect a retro-mutagen, her life would never be normal again. She had been changed forever.

As she walked past the second story landing, she heard the sound of keys jingling. She glanced in the direction of the sound, and saw that Satou Atsuko was unlocking her apartment.

Satou's arm was in a sling.

April's heart nearly stopped. What if…? She froze, staring at her neighbor nervously, trying to tell herself that any number of injuries required a sling. She wanted to run before Satou noticed that she was there.

Too late. Satou seemed to have sensed that April was watching her and turned around. "Hello, April," Satou said. Her voice was tired and ragged.

"Hi, Satou-san," April said. Her legs felt like jelly. "What happened to you?"

Satou's face was completely unreadable. "This?" she said, looking at her arm. "Pretty incredible injury for a software developer, isn't it? I was about to make some tea. Do you want to join me?"

April wasn't sure what to do. She felt like running upstairs immediately. On the other hand, if she stayed to have tea she might be able to suss out what Satou knew, if anything, about her dad. "S-sure," she said slowly.

Satou opened the apartment door and gestured for April to go in. Keeping a hand over her concealed tessen, April gave a customary bow to Satou. "Would you like me to take off my shoes?" April asked before going in.

Satou genuinely smiled. For some strange reason, April thought that this might be the first real glimpse of her neighbor that she had ever seen. "Whatever makes you comfortable," Satou replied.

April slipped out of her shoes and placed them just outside the door.

"I have a mat for that inside," Satou said, as she slipped out of her own shoes. "Allow me." Satou took April's shoes and walked inside.

When April walked into the apartment, she nearly shouted in surprise.

All along the length of the apartment was a beautiful etched glass display case. Behind the spotless glass, hundreds of weapons perched on shelves or hooks. Dozens of sai—all different lengths and weights—predominated the case. But there was also a matching set of nunchuks and a bo-staff that were made from the same gorgeous ebony, decorated with silver filigree and mother-of-pearl inlays. Swords of all varieties glinted. Tessens fanned out in a beautiful pattern. One of them even was painted to look like a silk screen fan. One of them looked exactly like hers, but the clan symbol was different. There were so many bo-staffs, nunchuks, even naginatas and kusurigamas, that April fleetingly thought that they could replace Donnie's and Mikey's frequently broken weapons for a year. There were even some types of weapons April didn't recognize. All of them were beautifully polished, without a speck of dust or rust in sight.

"Wow," April whispered.

Satou chuckled. "Do you like my collection? I've been working on it for years."

"Your tessens are so beautiful," April said. "There are so many."

"I'm impressed," Satou said, as she walked into the apartment's small kitchen. "Most people don't know what a tessen is."

April lingered near the door, wondering if she should be worried by the fact that her new neighbor had enough weapons to keep Shredder supplied for a decade. But her fascination with the collection—and her curiosity about Satou's injury—forced her to stay. "I actually have one," April said.

Satou looked at April thoughtfully while she filled the kettle with water. "Really?"

"Yeah," April said eagerly, throwing caution to the wind. "I'm training to be a kunoichi."

"Wow." Satou placed the kettle on the stove and turned on the heat. "I didn't think that America had any decent dojos."

"It does. But my sensei is from Japan."

"And what is his name?"

"I—can't tell you." April immediately regretted bringing it up. "And I can't show you my tessen, either. It has his clan symbol on it."

To April's surprise, Satou laughed. "Now I know you're telling the truth. A real kunoichi would never give up information on her clan so soon."

April relaxed somewhat. "Are you a kunoichi?"

"No," Satou said, as she filled a tea ball with leaves. "I would be, but I was never tested by the Tengu."

"Oh, that's that challenge thing. My friends passed that test sometime last year."

"Good for them. Is that Casey boy one of them?"

"Huh? No. He's another one of my friends."

April and Satou continued in small talk until the kettle started to whistle. Satou poured the water into the mugs and dropped a tea ball into each one. Then, she carried them over to the coffee table in the sitting area. April had relaxed enough to where she was comfortable with going further into the apartment.

After they had both become comfortable, Satou gestured to her arm. "So," she said, "do you want to know how a software developer ends up with an injury like this?"

"Oh," April said, biting back a sense of dread. "Yeah. What happened?"

Satou took a sip of tea. "I'm sure it's a misunderstanding," she said. "But I actually got bitten by somebody's pet."

April felt a tiny hint of relief. "Really?"

"Yes," Satou replied casually. Then she looked pointedly at April. "Some kind of giant bat."

That was it. April's worst fears had been confirmed. "I can explain," she said in a panic.

Satou seemed vaguely threatening as she stared into April's face, as though she was brimming with suppressed anger. "Good. Because I wanted to get your side before I called the police."

April could feel beads of sweat clustering on her temple. What could she possibly say?

_Think, April, think!_

Then she remembered that Channel 6 had a special on reports of strange sightings around the city. "Well, um, you know how there have been giant animal sightings around here?" she said, her voice tight with anxiety.

"No. I just moved to New York."

"Oh, r-right. Well, they sometimes mention weird freaky animal sightings on the news..."

_True._

"…um, some of them are people who got exposed to a…mutagenic chemical…by accident."

_Sort of true. _

Satou stared at April, her face totally deadpan. "So you expect me to believe that nonsense?"

_Come on, April, convince her! Dad still has some human attributes!_

"Well, you noticed it had a beard, right?"

Satou crossed her arms. "I did."

"Did you notice what color it was?"

"The bat?"

"No, its beard."

"Actually," Satou hissed, "I was fighting for my life while the thing was trying to drag me off and kill me, so I didn't notice."

At this point, April didn't know what else to do. Words started pouring out of her mouth without thinking. "Satou-san," she said, "I'm really sorry he attacked you. He's a little unpredictable since the incident. Sometimes it's like he's still in there, and other times, it's like he's just a mindless animal."

"Enough!" Satou shouted. "I had to go to the hospital this morning, and I don't know if I got all the proper vaccinations. I made up some crap story to tell them in triage about a dog. No matter what you tell me, the truth is that your so-called "mindless" animal-man attacked me. Do you think I could come away from that without being traumatized somehow?"

"But Satou-san – "

Satou scooted closer to the edge of her seat and leaned forward. April could see something that looked like sai handles protruding from beneath her belt on either side of her hips. Her slender, lethal-looking hands were tracing light circles around the handles. When she spoke, her voice was low and dangerous. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call the police, April."

April swallowed hard. Trembling, she mentally prepared to reach for her tessen.

"Just one," Satou whispered.

"Because that thing used to be my father!" April blurted out, nearly choking on the words. "He got exposed to mutagen and it turned him into that _monster_!"

The image of mutagen falling from the sky flashed before April's eyes. She could hear her father saying, _I'll do anything to protect you._ She saw his face as the mutagen cascaded down his body; she saw his pain. It had been her fault as much as anyone else's.

Overwhelmed, April started sobbing aloud. She was crying too hard to see Satou's look of shock and sympathy.

* * *

Atsuko didn't know what to do. The look of emotional trauma on April's face was unmistakable. It was the look of a child afraid, a child in confusion.

Two little boys had looked at her with that same fear and confusion right before they died.

Atsuko immediately started drawing deep breaths. She could not afford to have another episode like last night's. She forced all of her mind to concentrate on the present. Obviously, April had been traumatized in some way. Whether or not she was making up the bit about chemicals was up for debate; the existence of the bat-creature and the emotional trauma were indisputable fact.

Briefly, Atsuko considered calling Child Protective Services, but she intuitively knew that doing so would make April's life worse. Perhaps Atsuko could try to be a surrogate parent to her, to help her try to sort through whatever situation she had gotten herself into.

_No. I can't let anyone get that close._

She had been powerless to help her own children once. But she had the power to help April. She had promised herself she would never be powerless again, hadn't she?

"April-chan," she said. The tone of her voice was so soft and soothing that she startled herself. She had forgotten that she was capable of tenderness. "April-chan, please, let me help you."


	10. Chapter 10

As April walked into the lair that evening, she drew a deep breath. Part of her was terrified that she would find her father in worse condition than before. The other part was relieved to finally be back underground. There was a degree of emotional safety in the sewers. She wasn't even sure if she ever wanted to go back up again. Above, there was Karai with her vicious, misguided vendetta. There were Kraang who still wanted her dead. There were mobsters—and now monsters, too, thanks to the mutagen mishap. There was this new neighbor who seemed to both dislike her and genuinely care about her at the same time, armed to the teeth with more ninja weapons than April had ever seen.

What was there above the surface, really? School? Her aunt? She could always enroll in an online university. She could email her aunt. Maybe it would be better to stay hidden in the damp safety of the sewers, with her four best friends and her wise, loving sensei.

Just then, her t-phone's text tone went off. She unlocked the screen to see a message from Casey. It startled her; she forgot that she had given him the code so that he could text into the network.

_Hey red u wanna come to the ice rink tonite? bring ur frends ill teach em to play hockey. o howz ur dad?_

Casey! There was a reason she couldn't stay hidden in the sewers forever. He needed her tutoring, he needed her friendship. And she had promised to give him a proper introduction to the turtles. She had promised to keep him informed about her dad's condition. She had neglected him for close to twenty-four hours. But so much had happened. April's head was swimming.

First things first. She had to check on her dad.

She was surprised to see the den empty. Normally this time of night the turtles were glued to the television or playing their old arcade games. She hurried to Donnie's lab. Her father was lying there asleep. The makeshift monitors that Donnie had hooked him up to seemed to indicate everything was normal.

Donnie, however, was nowhere to be found. April went over to his desk to see if he had left any notes. She found several scraps of paper with chemical formulas scribbled on them; complex mathematical equations which April could only guess was some kind of advanced algebra. She looked at the equations and wondered why Donnie seemed so obsessed with National Public Radio. He seemed rather excited about many of the equations; they had exclamation marks all over them. She realized that n, p, and r obviously were variables when Donnie had started plugging in various different numbers. She had no idea what any of it meant.

Immediately, she felt foolish. Donnie had helped her figure out the toughest parts of trigonometry last year. Despite her efforts not to flunk out, going into hiding had rendered her old grade null and void. He had made trig seem so easy when he did it. Looking at these papers, she realized that he was probably doing the equivalent of teaching a kindergartener that 1 plus 1 equals 2.

He said she was the smartest girl he knew. Obvious flattery, completely unfounded in fact. It was so obvious that he liked her. Love is blind and all of that. She was an idiot compared to Donnie, and he had to know that on some level.

Now, she was using her newly found trigonometry prowess to teach Casey. No wonder he got that look when she talked about tutoring him. Maybe he thought that she had stolen his gift and now was giving it to some other guy…

_This is stupid, April. Donnie is your friend. How he feels about you is his problem. Just play it cool, and like Leo said, don't mess with his head. Donnie is bound to figure it out eventually. _

Even so, as she left the lab, she felt vaguely guilty that maybe she was using Donnie's affections to her own purposes. To help her dad, to help her with school, and all of that. Did she owe him a little affection in return? Did she owe him more than friendship?

With a sigh she decided to go check the dojo. If nothing else, Splinter would be in there.

However, Splinter was absent. The sliding door to his room was wide open, so April peeked in. "Sensei?" He was not in his room, either. He had to be around somewhere. Splinter almost never left the lair. Perplexed, April walked back out in to the den. "Hello! Anyone here?"

But there was no response.

April checked the kitchen. No one.

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up. What if something had happened? She whipped out her t-phone and called Donnie.

No answer.

April's panic rose. She tried Leo.

No answer.

Raphael?

No answer.

Desperate, April dialed Michelangelo. Suddenly, she thought heard a faint sound coming from the den. She ran out to see what it was.

It was Mikey's phone, lying on the couch with its jazzy ringtone playing. April picked it up; she noticed that the three other phones were lying there too. All of their screens were lit with a "missed call" message.

The turtles never went anywhere without their phones.

_Calm down, maybe they just left in a hurry…_

She went to check the garage, hoping to see the Shellraiser absent. However, their giant monster of a subway-car van was sitting peacefully in its usual place.

Genuinely distressed, April ran back into the den. "Donnie? Leo? Raph? Mikey?"

There was a flushing sound and the noise of running water. April jumped and whipped out her tessen.

The bathroom door opened, and Master Splinter emerged into the room. He looked at her with surprise. "April? What is wrong?"

April dropped her tessen on the ground and ran over to Splinter. She threw her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I didn't know where anyone was! I was worried! The guys left their phones—I thought something terrible had happened."

Splinter patted April's back gently, though she could tell he was surprised by the sudden embrace. "They went on a training exercise. Leonardo thought they had become too reliant on technology, so he insisted that they leave their phones here."

Letting go of Splinter, April laughed. "I bet Donnie loved that," she said.

Splinter grinned wickedly. "Indeed." He put an arm around April and guided her over to the sofas. "Please, sit." When April was seated, Splinter walked over to the other sofa and sat down facing her. He evaluated her for a long minute. "It is unlike you to be so easily upset, April," he said. "What troubles you?"

April scoffed somewhat. "You mean besides my dad?" When she looked up to see the reproving expression on Splinter's face, she immediately apologized. "You're right, Sensei. I'm—dealing with a lot, and it seems to get more complicated all the time. I ran into my neighbor, Satou Atsuko. She was hurt. It turns out she was the one my dad got into a fight with."

Splinter's ears drooped slightly. "Oh, dear. What happened?"

April explained how Satou had invited her for tea.

"I'm not sure I did the right thing, Sensei. She said she was going to call the police unless I gave her a good reason not to. So, I told her the truth. I didn't tell her everything, but I told her that Dad had been exposed to a mutagenic substance. I didn't think she'd believe me. She seemed surprised, but then she said she would help me in any way she could. She even bought me lunch."

"Sometimes, April, especially in the most sensitive of dealings, truth is the only solution. You made an ally rather than an enemy. Your decision showed wisdom and maturity." Splinter slowly stroked his beard. "However, I find this woman's reaction unusual. Also, I am surprised that she was only bitten while your father was dealt grievous injury."

"Well, this is the part that kind of worries me. She's…a kunoichi. Sort of."

Splinter simply raised his eyebrows.

"She has a massive collection of weapons—I've never seen so many! Apparently, she had her sai with her when my dad attacked."

"Interesting," Splinter said, in a tone of voice that indicated that 'interesting' meant 'concerning.' "However, we can jump to no conclusions. There are many people in the world who practice ninjutsu or another art. Still, I would double your caution. You need not avoid her, but if you spend any time with her, ensure it is in a very public place. The chance that she is connected with our enemies is now greater."

"I know, Sensei," April sighed. "But…I…I know it sounds strange, but I kind of like her. She was really nice to me after the whole thing. I want to trust her."

"It is not strange to like someone when they have shown you kindness. But she must earn your trust over time. Always remember that the ninja's most powerful weapon –"

"Is deception." April sighed again.

Splinter nodded. After a brief silence, he rose from the sofa. "It's past time for dinner," he said gently. "Do you want me to show you how to make Tang Shen's famous rice rolls?"

April suddenly brightened at the thought of food. Lunch had been a long time ago, and she had been very busy all day. "Wow! Sure!"

"Ah. That is unfortunate," Splinter said with a smile. "All I can make is a sad mockery of them. Still, they are edible, and with imagination you may guess what they are supposed to taste like."

Oh, Splinter. April felt herself smile for the first time in hours. "Sounds like fun."

Splinter headed into the kitchen. Before following him, April keyed in a quick text to Casey.

_Thanks for the invite, Jones, but we are busy tonight. My dad is stable. Can't wait to see you again._

Then, after checking on her dad one last time, she went into the kitchen to help Splinter prepare dinner.


	11. Chapter 11

The next week passed for April without incident, by and large. She continued to check on her dad every evening; she slept in the makeshift room that the turtles had made for her when she was in constant hiding from the Kraang. Satou had asked her how she was once or twice, but didn't pressure her into coming over for tea or anything like that. She tutored Casey on Tuesday and Thursday, and on Thursday the two of them went to Murikami's noodle shop for dinner.

The turtles' week had been far more interesting. On Wednesday, she helped Donnie stitch up a nasty cut on Michelangelo's leg. They had been trying to figure out what the Kraang were up to—to see if they were still allied with the Foot after the whole faux pas with that robot that Mikey called 'Chrome Dome.' Sadly, they had failed to glean much intel from the whole escapade. On the plus side, however, they had found a hoard of recently produced mutagen. Donnie claimed several canisters for his research and then they destroyed the rest.

By Friday, April found herself feeling a semblance of balance returning to her life. She had found a new normal, and it felt good. She walked into the lair after school in high spirits. Casey had invited her to come see his hockey game that night—and she couldn't wait.

As was usual this time of day, the turtles were congregated in the den watching television.

"Hi, April!" Donnie said. "How are ya?"

"Not bad," April said, grinning widely. "I'm going to go see my first ever hockey game tonight! Casey's playing."

"Oh," Donnie replied, his shoulders drooping slightly.

Raph looked up from the television. "What is hockey, anyway? Is that the one where they use a club to knock a ball into a hole?"

April laughed. "No, that's golf. Hockey is where they use a club to knock a puck into a goal."

"Dudes, your rhyming is totally freaking me out!" Mikey yelled.

"Cool it, Mikey," Leo said. The he grinned evilly. "There's no need to shout!"

"Aaah! Stop it! You know that rhyming hurts my brain!"

"I'm pretty sure everything does, Mikey," Raph said, exchanging a wicked look with Leo. "But, we wouldn't want to cause you pain."

Mikey clapped his hands over his ears and ran from the room shouting, "La la la can't hear you!"

Leo and Raph doubled over in laughter.

"I don't get it," April said, mystified. "He listens to music with lyrics constantly. If rhyming bothers him…"

Donnie shrugged. "As far as we know, he hasn't made that connection."

"It's funny you should ask about hockey, Raph," April said, seeing the perfect opportunity. "You'd probably really like it. It's a pretty violent game."

Raphael sat up straight and put on an air of offense. "I am absolutely shocked that you would think I would like something solely based on the fact that it's violent, April."

April put her hands on her hips. "Am I wrong?"

Raphael cracked a twisted grin. "No, but you might have given me the benefit of the doubt or something."

"Anyway, Casey has said that he wants to get to know you guys. He wondered if you wanted to learn to play hockey tomorrow night. The rink is closed on Saturdays, but he's got a key."

"Wait, the guy who kept calling us monsters wants to hang out with us?" Raph said, his grin fading. "I don't think so."

"Yeah," Donnie added, with a facial expression of distaste.

"Come on guys, cut him some slack," Leo said. "He might be a little…insensitive…when it comes to word choices, but he actually wants to get to know us. Maybe we should give him a chance. I mean, it would be kind of cool to have a friend besides April. No offense, April."

April beamed at Leo in response.

"Besides," Leo continued. "I think it would mean a lot to Mikey, especially since his only other friend-making attempt went so wrong."

"All right," Raph said in his usual non-committal tone. "Violent game, and someone other than me for Mikey to blabber at. I'm in."

"Me too," Leo said with a grin.

Donnie crossed his arms. "I don't know, guys, maybe we should check with Sensei."

"Come on, Donnie," April said pleadingly. "Hockey is full of physics! You've got an icy surface and a relatively low friction disc. You can factor in the resistance from new blade marks on the ice. It's like an icy mathematical winter wonderland!"

April immediately knew she had said the magic words. Donnie got that unmistakable look of interested excitement on his face. "Well, I guess we could…"

Raph rolled his eyes. "Only Donnie," he groaned.

"You'll be wishing you had some good math skills when I'm beating you!" Donnie retorted.

"Still, checking with Sensei might not be a bad idea," Leo said. "I'll go ask him and then see if Mikey wants in. This sounds like a lot of fun." Leo jumped up from the couch and went into the dojo.

"This will be great," Raph said, smacking his fist into his other hand. "Warm up with hockey, go out and stomp some sleazebags, and cool down with some pizza."

"Uhh…how about we leave out that middle part?" April said.

Raph dropped his jaw. "April," he said, in scandalized tones. "I thought we were _friends._"

Donnie rolled his eyes. "Come on, April. Let me show you how that skin graft is coming along."

"Sure," April said. As much as she wanted her dad to be human, she wanted him to be healthy even more. She couldn't stand the thought of him sedated all the time. She wanted him to be whole again, so that he could find happiness in his own…bat-like…way.

"All right!" Raph shouted, as they were leaving the room. "I love skin grafts!"

The first thing April noticed upon walking into the lab was that the big jumble of electronic components destined to be Donnie's supercomputer was spread out on a tarp. His centrifuge and incubator were set up on his main workstation.

"I think that I'm having some success with the graft," Donnie said as he cracked open the incubator and peeked inside. "Once I get a piece big enough, I'll put in dissolvable mesh for the graft to sit on and hopefully the wing will grow back together."

April smiled. "And then he can get back to being a bat outta heck." She patted her dad's misshapen head. "Poor Dad. At least you seem content being a bat." When she looked up, she saw Donnie staring at her with a deeply saddened expression. "What's wrong, Donnie?"

"I'm so sorry, April," Donnie said, hanging his head. "I still can't believe we let this happen. And—I've never felt stupider in my life than I have trying to figure out this retro-mutagen."

"Stupid?" April said, putting her hands on her hips. "Donnie, if you want to hear stupid, listen to what you just said. You're a genius."

Donnie looked up. "Thanks, April," he sighed, "but I can't seem to make any progress."

"You are making progress! I saw all those complicated equations you were really excited about."

"Huh?"

"Yeah! Last week—that big page with all the exclamation points on it."

Donnie looked completely nonplussed. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"Those equations with n, p, and r?"

Donnie pursed his lips very tightly for a moment. He walked over to his desk, opened the top drawer, and pulled out a piece of paper. "This one?" he said, coughing slightly.

April got the distinct impression that he was repressing laughter. "Yeah."

"Those aren't exclamation points. Well, they are, but they mean 'factorial.' You know, like six factorial would be six times five times four times three and so on."

April blushed. "Oh."

"But, I was working on the retro-mutagen. I was looking at all the different permutations of known chemical configurations present in the mutagen. Unfortunately, this lead to a dead end."

"Oh. I'm sorry…I thought you were excited. We haven't learned about factorials yet."

Donnie shrugged. "Eh, you will. They use them a lot in game theory—you know, probability and stuff."

"Well, now that I've completely embarrassed myself, I guess I should go get ready for the game."

"You didn't embarrass yourself," Donnie said hastily.

April laughed. "You're way too nice, Donnie. If I were one of your brothers you'd be making fun of me."

"No! I mean, they don't even care about this stuff, so yeah, if they didn't get it I would make fun of them. They don't even want to know. But you do, so why would I make fun of you for not knowing it already? I didn't always know this stuff."

"No, just since you were five," April retorted.

Donnie shrugged. "Yeah, well, all I can figure is that the mutagen somehow must have accidentally given me all of Mikey's intellectual power in addition to my own. So I have an unfair advantage."

At that, April laughed. "You're assuming he had some to begin with?"

Donnie grinned. "Good point. So, you're sure you don't want to stay and hang out with us tonight?"

April had a feeling that by 'us,' Donnie meant 'me.' She felt a prick of guilt. "Sorry, Donnie. I promised Casey I would go."

"Oh, okay. Well, have fun."

"Thanks!"

As April left, she tried to ignore the feeling of guilt that followed her.


	12. Chapter 12

_All right. This is it, April. No need to be nervous. _

"So…are your turtle buddies going to show up?" asked Casey.

"Be patient, Casey," April said. The empty ice rink seemed eerily quiet after the chaos of last night's game. Unfortunately, the Vikings had lost thanks to their goalie's underperformance. "They have to move really stealthily so no one sees them."

"So, like, turtles are cold-blooded, right? Are they going to be all right in here?"

April chuckled. "Now you think of that," she said. "But they should be fine. I think the mutation made them more human like. They go out in the cold all the time."

"Wait…they aren't people like your dad?"

"They are people!" April said, suddenly defensive. The turtles had just as much humanity in their spirits as she and Casey did. She hated the thought of someone looking down on them for not being physically human. "They just started out as turtles, that's all."

"Whoa, Red. Take it easy. I didn't mean it like that."

"Sorry," April sighed. "It's just…they are my friends. Just because they happen to be turtles doesn't mean they aren't people."

"I'm picking up what you're putting down," Casey said.

Suddenly, someone shouted "Booyakasha!" right in April's ear.

April screamed. She turned around and cocked Mikey right in the jaw. "Don't startle me!" she yelled.

Raphael came around the corner. "Hey! No one hits Mikey but me!"

"Well, you hit him then!"

"No, really, I'm good," Michelangelo whimpered, rubbing his jaw.

Raphael came over and smacked him on the head. "Don't startle April," he growled.

"Owww, okay!"

"Already making a good impression, guys," Leonardo said, popping out from behind the bleachers.

Casey stared with his jaw dropped. "Whoa. I didn't hear a thing. How long have you guys been in here?"

"You'll never know…" Mikey said, in his most spooky voice, wiggling his fingers mysteriously.

"We only just got here," said Donnie, swinging down from the rafters onto the highest bleachers.

"Okay. Now you know. Way to go, Donnie," Mikey said.

"Wow," Casey said. "That was like…ninja stealth!"

"Well, we are ninjas, after all," Donnie quipped as he hopped down the bleachers to the floor level.

"So!" April said, clapping her hands together. "Guys, you all know Casey Jones."

"Hockey player extraordinaire," Casey said, with a flourish.

"Hi, Casey!" Mikey said, enthusiastically.

"Casey, this is Michelangelo—we call him Mikey. That's Leonardo…"

"Leo is fine," Leo said, waving.

"Raphael—or Raph for short…"

Raphael nodded gruffly.

"And you know Donatello."

"Hey, guys. Nice to meet you officially."

"Same," said Leo. "So, April said you were going to show us how to play hockey."

"Fo' sho," Casey said, grinning widely. "I'll go easy on you, though. I brought some extra skates..." Casey looked at the turtles' feet. "…oh."

"No worries," Donnie piped up. He slung a bag off of his shoulder. "I made some skates for us."

"This is gonna be epic!" Mikey shouted. "I can't wait to score a touchdown!"

"Er…it's called a goal," Casey said.

"Pssh. Same diff."

Leo, Raph, and Donnie all shook their heads at Casey, waving their hands back and forth.

"…Right," Casey said, catching their drift. "Well, let's play!"

* * *

Three hours later, they were all sitting in the bleachers with empty pizza boxes scattered all over the place. Raph was lying on his back, tossing a puck up into the air and catching it.

"Not a bad game," he said. "I can see why you like it, Jones."

"Yeah," Leo chimed in, eating a lonely piece of pizza. "Thanks."

Mikey downed a can of Mountain Dew and belched noisily. "Totes," he agreed.

Donnie nodded. "It was pretty engaging," he said. "It got interesting when the ice was roughed up."

"Yeah, they usually re-flatten the ice throughout the game," Casey said. "I like the challenge though. So…you guys fight crime?"

"More or less," Leo said.

"Wish it was more," Raph added.

"Mostly we work against the people who make the mutagen," Donnie said. "And then the ninja clan that has it out for us."

"Every now and then we stomp an average sleazeball, though," Raph said.

"I'd love to get in on that," Casey said. "This city is so full of trash."

April leaned back on the bench behind her, trying not to slip into an extra-cheese induced coma. As she watched Casey and the turtles get along so well with each other, she felt like she was going to explode from happiness. She had worried that they would fight, or that Donnie would be hostile to Casey or something. However, while Donnie wasn't quite acting like his normal self, he was being extremely polite to Casey and even a little friendly.

Raph and Casey had made an instant connection, as April hoped they might. It would be good for Raph to have a friend, especially since the whole incident with Spike. Leo and Mikey seemed to like him too, and Casey had been very tolerant of Mikey's eccentricities.

Everything was fine until they were getting ready to leave and Casey offered to walk April home.

Donnie immediately stepped in between Casey and April. "She's actually been staying with us," he said, somewhat coldly. "We'll be walking her home."

Casey raised his eyebrows. "Chill out, man," he said. "Just trying to be a good friend. You know, the kind that's not possessive or anything."

April's stomach plummeted into a bucket of ice as she could see the outburst building up inside of Donnie. Fortunately, Leo jumped to the rescue.

"Sorry, Jones," Leo said, pulling Donnie out from between the two of them. "It's nothing personal, really. It's just that we need to keep our security tight—and our Sensei would kill us if we let someone other than April see our hideout. You know parents. Always worrying."

Casey relaxed a little, but still glanced harshly at Donnie. "Hey, that's cool," he said. "My parents are kinda control freaks too."

Donnie glared.

"Well, see ya, dude," Raph said, offering a fist pump to Casey.

Casey grinned. "We'll do this again sometime," he said.

"Aw yeah," Mikey cheered.

As the four turtles and April headed back to the lair, April found herself dreading the next time Donnie and Casey would be in the same room together.

* * *

April yawned and stretched her sore legs. Balancing on skates all evening the night before—along with a few falls—left her feeling like she had been pummeled by a dozen Master Splinters. She threw her robe over her pajamas and left her makeshift room to go check on her dad.

The lab doors were shut; just as April was about to open them she heard Leo's voice from inside.

"Look, Donnie. I get why you're not a fan of him. I do. But could you at least not ruin the chances of another human friend for the rest of us?"

April clapped her hand over her mouth. They were talking about Casey.

"Fine," Donnie said sullenly.

"Oh, geez. Will you get over it? They aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. And even if they were, he's a cool guy. If you really liked April, you'd want her to be happy no matter what, right?"

"I do want her to be happy," Donnie protested, his voice jumping up an octave. "It's just…"

"Just…?"

April heard Donnie heave a sigh. "I want to be happy too, Leo."

The words felt like a knife in her chest.

"I know, Donatello," Leo said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "But we…you, me, Splinter, Raph, and Mikey—we have to find our happiness in different ways."

"I'm not like you, though. Ninjustsu isn't enough for me."

"You think it's enough for me? What I mean is that we have to seek fulfillment through the friendships we have, not expend our energy wishing for things that might or might not happen."

"Well now you just sound like Splinter."

"You know I'm right, Donnie."

"I never had a chance with her, did I? Just like Falco said."

Falco? The psychic guy turned Rat King? April's heart was pounding in her throat while she waited for Leo's response.

"Falco has nothing to do with it," Leo replied sharply.

"Yeah," sighed Donnie. "I know. That doesn't change it though, does it?"

The silence in the lab was deafening.

Finally, Leo replied. "No. It doesn't." His voice was cold, as though he were privately condemning himself at the same time.

April felt like vomiting.

When Leo spoke again, his voice was tender. "I'm gonna get some breakfast. You want me to make you some eggs?"

Donnie chuckled weakly. "Your eggs are more disastrous than most of my experiments."

"Good point. Want me to make Mikey make you some eggs?"

"Now that I could go for."

When April heard Leo's footsteps approaching the door, she bolted back into her room, buried her face in her pillow, and started crying.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: This chapter contains some mention of sexual assault. If this is upsetting to you as a reader, please do not read.

Atsuko was hunched over her laptop on the dining room table. Notes to herself were scattered everywhere, covered in zeroes and ones. She had brought home some of her work with her that weekend; her team was trying to develop a new operating system for Advancements.

She wasn't working overtime for any kind of praise. Since last weekend, she had been desperate to keep herself completely occupied all the time. She did nothing but work, meditate, and sleep. Any minute her mind was idle, she started to flash back to memories of her sons once again. She even worked while she ate.

Still, she had the satisfaction of watching the project blossom. She had always loved electronics. Studying them had helped her recover from some of her past trauma; it always occupied every part of her mind. Her hard work had paid off. She was able to live comfortably and expand her collection with some very expensive pieces. If this new OS project was a success, Atsuko might very well be in for a raise. She might have to buy some new pieces to celebrate.

Abruptly, thoughts of expanding her collection were interrupted by knocking at the door.

* * *

Throwing caution to the wind, April knocked on Satou's door. She didn't care if Splinter advised avoiding private meetings with the woman. She wanted privacy. She needed someone to talk to. She needed help. And Satou had promised to help her in any way she could.

A shadow passed over the peephole. Then, April could hear the chain being removed and the door opened. Satou stood in the doorway with her usual unreadable expression. "Hello, April. What can I do for you?"

"I need to talk, Satou-san," April said.

"Please, come in. Pardon the mess, I've been working on some stuff for work. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please," April replied. While Satou went to make tea, April glanced at the papers scattered all over the table. "Are you writing a program?"

Satou peeked out from the kitchen. "Yes. You know computers?"

April's heart hurt when she thought of Donnie. "Not really. One of my best friends is really good with them, though."

When the tea was ready and they were comfortably seated in the living room, Satou looked April in the eye, her expression still impassive. "What is troubling you, April?"

April sighed in exasperation. "It's so stupid, Satou-san. I've always really hated drama, and now I feel like I'm in a freaking soap opera."

Satou raised an eyebrow. "Because your dad is a bat?"

"No," April said. "The sad thing is—I can make sense of my dad being a bat. There's a lot of details I haven't told you, but believe me when I say I understand how that happened. And yeah, there's some drama there…but this is different. It just makes me want to rip my hair out!"

Satou took a sip of tea very quietly. "It's boys, isn't it?" she said.

April sighed. "That obvious, huh?"

A tiny smile crept across Satou's lips. "It was just a guess."

"Well, it's these two guys. You know Casey; the other one is named Donnie. I'm really good friends with both of them. Ah, it's just so stupid!"

"It's fine, April," Satou said. "I'm listening."

April could hardly believe she was about to spill her guts to this almost complete stranger, but the words tumbled out like vomit. She had no idea what to do. "So, I've only know Casey for about a month. I've known Donnie for over a year. I really—I mean _really_—like Casey. And Casey acts like he really likes me too. But Donnie's really special to me too, and he's been there for me so many times…he's always got my back, he's really sweet, he's head over freakin' heels for me."

"You don't feel the same way about him?"

"Well…yes, no, I don't know! I know I don't like him the way I do Casey. But…I feel like I owe him."

Satou frowned.

"I know that sounds dumb," April groaned, burying her face into her hands. "But…I can't even begin to tell you how much he's done for me. I feel guilty just for liking Casey when I know how much Donnie likes me, and how much he has helped me. And they met each other yesterday, and it didn't go completely well. They both got defensive over me. I hate stories about love triangles and here I am right in the middle of one."

"First of all, April, nobody is _owed _ love. Nobody _earns _or _deserves_ love." Satou's voice was so harsh that April looked up at her in surprise.

April had always thought that Satou looked youthful—certainly in her late thirties—but with a young face. The Satou Atsuko sitting in front of her now seemed old; not that her physical features were changed, but her expression made her seem like a seventy-year-old woman. Satou's deep brown eyes shimmered with building tears.

"Second," Satou continued, her voice grating, "love triangles are never about love. Not as far as men are concerned. It's about control. It's about their own egos, their own self-entitled sense of honor and duty and clan." Satou stood up so quickly she knocked her teacup over. "The woman ceases to exist for them—she is only a prize in their petty rivalry!" Satou stormed off into the kitchen.

April felt like she had been slapped across the face. She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears. Donnie and Casey would never be like that, would they?

Satou returned with a towel to mop up her spilled tea. When she looked at April, she sighed. "I'm sorry, April. I shouldn't have raised my voice."

April sniffed. "Y-you really think that guys are like that? I mean, these are my friends."

Satou looked down at the spill as though she were staring down into the depths of a well. "I knew a woman in Japan," she said, very softly. She continued mopping up the spill as she spoke. "She had two very good friends, two young men who both started trying to court her. Soon, their adoration of her turned into adoration of themselves.

"You see, men _might_ be capable of love. But when there is competition involved, they only love themselves. So these two men—their rivalry didn't end until they had killed the woman, along with anyone connected to her. I was targeted because I knew her, even after one of the rivals had killed the other one."

Satou sat back down in her seat. April couldn't help but notice the way that Satou's hands were shaking.

"Satou-san," April breathed. "I'm so sorry."

Satou looked into April's face. "As am I," she said with a sigh. "Perhaps I'm not the best to come to for advice on love. I haven't loved anyone since my husband died."

"How did he…?"

"One of those men I mentioned captured my family, because of my connection to that woman. He wanted to use me to punish the other man. So he killed my husband and two sons in front of me." Satou's face lost all of its color. She was shaking violently, as though she were freezing cold.

"Satou-san?" April said, getting scared. "Are you okay?"

"I was his prisoner for a year," Satou whispered, pressing her eyes shut. "He raped me every night."

All April could do was sit on the couch helplessly while she watched Satou burst into tears in front of her.

* * *

_In your darkest hour, remember Hamato Yoshi did this to you. _

Idiot! Atsuko screamed to herself. How could she have let it all resurface? How did this girl, this stupid teenage girl, manage to crack through her defenses so easily? Defenses she had built up for years and years?

_In your darkest hour._

Her whole life had become darkness since that night. Hamato Yoshi deserved to pay for what he had done. Atsuko was only disappointed that someone else had relieved him of his life before she could.

_Hamato Yoshi. _

He had met his fate at the same hands that killed her husband and sons.

_No, _Atsuko thought, dimly aware that April was embracing her and speaking to her in soothing tones. _Let go. Let go of the name Hamato Yoshi. Stop wasting your hate on him. _

_He wasn't the one who raped you until you bled. _

She took several deep breaths to steady herself. When she finally had her panic attack under control, she regained her awareness of what was happening in the present.

April was sitting next to her on the couch, holding her in a tight embrace. "It's okay, Satou-san," she was saying. "I'll do whatever I can to help you, too."

Atsuko pulled away from April's embrace and looked into her face. "Thank you, April-chan," she said. She kissed April on the forehead.


	14. Chapter 14

WARNING: Major super sappy romance junk ahead. I just about went into a diabetic coma writing this. Please enjoy.

* * *

Over the next several weeks, April kept a polite distance from both Casey and Donnie. It wasn't that she was afraid that the triangle would turn into a violent bloodbath, like the one that Satou's acquaintance was in. She was simply tired of the emotional pressure.

_I'm glad I don't live in Japan,_ she thought fleetingly. _If Splinter and Satou are to be believed, being in love there is basically a death sentence._

She started to spend a good deal of time with Satou. Once or twice, she ordered in pizza gyoza from Murikami's surprised her new friend with dinner. Most of the time, they just engaged in small talk.

On this particular Wednesday night, however, Satou had opened up her weapons display case and was showing April all of her different tessens.

"The tessen was my first weapon," Satou said. "I learned to fight two-handed with them. After I lived in Okinawa for several years, though, I started to favor the sai. I had an instructor there who made fighting with sai look like dancing."

April laughed. "My friend who uses sai can do that too. If by dancing you mean a boxing match."

Satou grinned. "Well, no weapon requires the same grace that a tessen does."

April felt like she had achieved a victory every time she saw joy come into Satou's expression. "You got that right," April said, striking a pose with one of Satou's many tessens.

"I'm curious—is your friend in the same dojo as you?"

"Yeah," April said, working a few small katas.

"Interesting. The sai is not considered 'cannon' in most ninjutsu clans. There are a few in southern Japan, where the Okinawa influence is stronger, but not many."

"Well, my sensei is a big advocate of adaptation," April said with a shrug.

"A true ninja, then," Satou said with another grin. "Some clans refuse to adopt new things, without realizing that ninjas must adapt—because we are ninjas, not samurais."

April chuckled. "So how do you fight two handed?"

"You need two tessens of approximately equal size and weight," Satou replied. She took out a twin pair from the case and demonstrated several different katas.

April was clapping when her phone started to ring. She wasn't surprised to see that it was Donnie. "Hang on, Satou-san.

"Hi, Donnie. What's up?"

_"Hey, April. Are you going to be home soon? Well, not your home, I mean the lair…"_

"Maybe. Why?"

_"Your dad's wing looks great now. I wanted to get a second opinion though. We might be able to let him out soon. Of course, there's the question of getting his strength back up…and whether it's a good idea anyway…" _

"Okay. Yeah. I'll be there in about an hour probably. I've already eaten, so don't wait for me."

_"Oh…with Casey?"_

April cringed at the question. "No. With my neighbor Satou Atsuko. "

_"Oh, all right then,"_ Donnie said briskly. _"See you soon then!"_

"Bye, Donnie." April hit 'end' before he could say another word. "Gaaah," she muttered. "I'm going to join a nunnery."

Satou chuckled. "You would make a terrible nun," she said.

April sighed. "Well, I do kind of like Donnie. A little. It's just…well, you know how my dad got kinda messed up? A human turned animalistic?"

Satou folded her arms. "Yes, I am still working on believing that, but I definitely can say you've earned my trust, April."

April smiled slightly. _Trust._ It felt so good to hear that. It made her feel better about what she was going to fess up. "Donnie started out as an animal…who got turned humanish."

Satou raised her eyebrows. "Sounds like something out of a manga."

"I know, right?" cried April. "Seriously, my life has gotten super weird. I really do feel like I'm in a bizarre comic series or something."

"Complete with love triangle," Satou added with a sly grin.

"Ugh. Don't remind me." She paused. "You know, I just can't believe that Casey and Donnie would…"

Satou got very quiet as she started putting away some of her weapons.

"I'm sorry, Satou-san."

"It's fine. What were you going to say?"

"Well…I don't know Casey very well. But Donnie's father—my sensei, actually—lost his wife because his friend was jealous. Donnie has had that as an example to remember. He would never hurt me if I didn't choose him, if for no other reason than remembering how much something like that hurt his dad."

Satou laughed. "So your friend, who is an anthropomorphic animal, is a ninja as well?"

"I know it sounds crazy," April said, suddenly worried she might have divulged too much.

"Crazy doesn't begin to cover it. But now I see you know two people whose lives were devastated by the dreaded triangle. Maybe you should be a nun after all."

"You said you were married, right? How did you know he was the right one?"

Satou heaved a sigh. "I've worked very hard to forget as much of my past as I can, and here you manage to make me delve into it once again."

"Sorry…I…"

"No. It's fine.

"There was this boy at my school. He was one of the few there who did not study any martial arts. I hardly knew him at all. One day, an older student—one of the best bushis in the school—insulted me repeatedly. Then, out of nowhere, this boy came and knocked him out cold. I got to be very good friends with the boy after that, and then we fell in love. It's about as stereotypical a love story as you could get."

"So it was an easy decision?"

Satou laughed. "No decision about a life partner is easy. But it was simpler."

"What's it like to love somebody? I mean, really love them?"

Satou sat down and closed her eyes. Slowly, she began to speak. Her voice was a soft whisper, like wind sweeping through the leaves in spring.

"It is to be all made of sighs and tears…

It is to be all made of faith and service…

It is to be all made of fantasy,

All made of passion and all made of wishes,

All adoration, duty, and observance,

All humbleness, all patience and impatience,

All purity, all trial, all observance."

The silence that followed made all of April's hairs stand up. "Wow," she breathed. "That's beautiful."

Satou smiled vaguely, as though she was floating in memory. "My sister was always mooning about, saying that. It was from some English play about unrequited love."

"Is she…?"

Satou closed her eyes and drew a deep breath. "No. She was connected to the situation as well."

April's text tone went off. "Sorry," she muttered. She unlocked the screen to read it. It was from Donnie.

_Sorry to bother you again. Just wondering if you want me to start waking him up now so that he'll be ready to go when you get here._

April sighed. "I've got to go, Satou-san. My dad's doing better, and we are trying to decide what to do with him now."

"Good luck, April-chan."

"Thanks."

* * *

Donatello sat slumped at his desk, staring at his t-phone. April would reply soon, wouldn't she? It was about her dad, after all. And he wasn't about to start waking up Mr. O'Neil without her consent.

Why was April avoiding him? She was talking just to the other guys just as much as she used to.

He looked up when Master Splinter walked into the room. "Hello, Sensei," he said.

"Greetings, Donatello. How is Mr. O'Neil?"

"Good. Just waiting to hear back from April, and then we'll be waking him up."

"That is good news. But you don't seem to be very happy."

Donnie sighed. "It's nothing."

Splinter stood there stroking his beard for a moment. "Ah, Silvius. Your Phoebe is still intent upon her Ganymede."

Donnie was completely nonplussed. "The _what_ now?"

Splinter laughed. "I thought you were a genius. Do you not know Shakespeare when you hear it?"

"Oh. I didn't know you were a fan of Shakespeare."

"I am not, especially," Splinter replied. "Tang Shen was. She loved Renaissance art and Elizabethan literature. Quite the eccentric. We always teased her for it."

"So—what's with the Phoebe thing?"

Splinter shook his head. "She used to call me her Phoebe," he said. "A character in a play. I never read the play, myself—if I recall correctly, it was called _'As You Like It.' _Silvius was a young man who loved Phoebe, but she did not love him in return. Rather, she loved a man named Ganymede."

"Wait. You mean Tang Shen liked you before you liked her?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Splinter replied, shaking his head. "I was enamored with her older sister, Tang Mei."

"I didn't know she had an older sister. You've never…really talked much about Tang Shen."

Splinter nodded. "We were in grade school together. I thought for certain that her sister was my soul mate. In fact, Oroku Saki and I had made a pact about the Tang sisters. I was to help him win Tang Shen, and he would help me win Tang Mei. He certainly tried. He even helped me pay an older student at the school—one of the most skilled bushis from our ninja clan—to insult her. I was planning to swoop in and defend her honor, thus securing her undying affection forever." Splinter laughed. "It could not have failed more miserably. Another young man—completely untrained in any martial art—ran in to defend her and caught my would-be opponent off guard, since he was expecting me, and planning to throw the match anyways. Eventually, Tang Mei married that young man.

"But it turned out that Tang Shen had loved me the whole time. This was why she so loved the song that Silvius sang about love:

"It is to be all made of sighs and tears…

It is to be all made of faith and service…

It is to be all made of fantasy,

All made of passion and all made of wishes,

All adoration, duty, and observance,

All humbleness, all patience and impatience,

All purity, all trial, all observance,

And so am I for Phoebe."

Donnie felt like his heart was swelling as he heard the words. They were so beautiful. They were exactly how he felt about April. "Did…Silvius end up with Phoebe?"

Splinter smiled. "Yes. But all of us are either Silvius or Phoebe, and we can never know which until after the fact. Phoebe, even hearing this song from Silvius himself, said 'So am I for Ganymede.'

"You see, I was certain that I could never love anyone but Tang Mei. I was wrong, and my emotions tricked me into thinking it was true love. However, Tang Shen was certain she would never love anyone but me. She was right—and her love was true and pure.

"My son, learn from this. Never give up hope on the one you care for. But remember that your love may be someone you have overlooked. You will find out eventually whether you are Silvius or Phoebe."

Still desperately hoping that Splinter was trying to tell him that April would like him eventually, Donnie stood up. "But you called _me _Silvius."

"Donatello," Splinter said, laying a hand on Donnie's shoulder. "Each of us is the Silvius of our own love story, until we are proven wrong."

Donnie sighed. _This whole, long story just turns out to be typical Schrodinger's Cat philosophical musings, _he thought. _Splinter has mastered the art of understanding how the cat is dead and alive at the same time._

"Thank you, Sensei," he said resignedly. He hated the thought that his feelings for April might be misdirected. "You've given me a lot to think about."

Splinter bowed slightly. "Of course." He turned to go.

There was one thing Donnie still wondered. "Wait—so, is Tang Mei still over in Japan?"

Splinter stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around slowly, his face downcast. "The Shredder had Tang Mei, her husband, and their two sons murdered. He did this to punish me for violating our childhood contract."

Donnie felt like his stomach had just been ripped out. Was there any end to Shredder's cruelty? "Wow. I'm sorry, Sensei. I didn't know."

Splinter nodded. "Call if you need help with Mr. O'Neil," he said, then left.

Donne plopped back down into his chair. Were all of his efforts to impress April as silly as Splinter's had been to impress Tang Mei? What he was doing for April was real…

All sighs and tears. All faith and service. All fantasy, passion, wishes, adoration, duty, observance, humbleness, patience and impatience, purity, trial, and observance.

Glancing up at the picture of April on his wall, Donnie whispered, "And so am I for April."

Not one second later, April walked into the lab. "Hey Donnie!" she said. "Sorry I didn't text you back."

Donnie smiled in response. "It's okay, April. I'm all patience."

April raised an eyebrow. "You are, huh?"

Picking up the revival serum, Donnie got up and walked over to Mr. O'Neil. "..._and_ impatience. Now, let's see what we can do for your dad."

"I can't believe you actually pulled this off, Donnie. His wing looks great. You're incredible."

When he glanced back over at April, he saw her face lit up with more happiness than he had seen in weeks.

And in that moment, he knew that he really never would love anyone else but April O'Neil. But he also knew that even if April chose someone else, her happiness would be enough to keep him warm for the rest of his life.

Her happiness would be all he would ever need.

* * *

I warned you that it was sappy. By the way, before I catch any flack, yes, I know that Ganymede was actually Rosalind dressed up as a man. But Splinter said he didn't read the play and he only remembers the bit that Tang Shen talked about. :)

Thanks again to everyone who's reading. I hope you're still enjoying it.


	15. Chapter 15

April could hardly believe it. While Donnie's inventions frequently went awry, this was one of the best things he'd come up with.

"It's beautiful," April said, standing at the entrance to the large cavern. Donnie had found an abandoned junction and somehow excavated it with water pressure, then seeded it with natural rock. He had managed to form stalactites and stalagmites. It was almost as beautiful as a natural cave.

"Well, bats do love caves," Donnie said. His face was glowing with pride. April thought that he deserved to be proud of himself for this.

"I'm still floored you did this in less than seven days."

It was nearly a week after her dad's wing was properly healed—and they were unsure of what to do now that he was well, since releasing him might not be the best idea. Donnie said he would see what he could do—and it was well beyond anything April had expected.

"Yeah, well, if only I could get that retro-mutagen figured out, I wouldn't have needed to do this."

April glanced over at Donnie. She could see the frustration that quickly strangled out his sense of pride. "You will get it. It's not rocket science—it's harder. But if anyone can figure it out, it's you, Donnie."

The words weren't empty. She wasn't just saying them to make him feel better. She honestly knew in her heart that Donnie would keep his promises to her.

As Donnie looked back at her—_that_ look—April found herself wondering why Donnie even liked her at all. She was an idiot compared to him—which she had demonstrated with her mathematical ignorance. She wasn't really that nice—which she had demonstrated with her grudge. He had accidentally informed her on more than one occasion that he thought she was beautiful—but was that the only reason he liked her?

Fleetingly, April thought that she didn't come close to deserving Donnie's affections.

Suddenly, both of their t-phones went off. Simultaneously, they grabbed them to check. It was a group text from Casey.

_Hey Red and Greens wanna play a few rounds on the ice? rink is closed 2nite_

"When did we patch Jones into our network?" Donnie said, sounding slightly offended.

"Oh," April said, chuckling nervously. "I gave him the codes so he could text me a while back. I think Raph gave him all your numbers after we played hockey that one time."

Donnie drew a deep breath and closed his eyes. April was dreading an outburst, but then Donnie opened his eyes and smiled slightly. "You really had a good time with that, didn't you?"

April was surprised at the response. "Uh…yeah, I did," she said. "It was fun to have all my friends together, getting along."

Donnie chuckled awkwardly and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah…sorry about my overreaction that night, April. Sixteen years of Splinter platitudes makes it pretty hard to trust anyone."

April burst out laughing. "I bet it does."

"I just…you know…we have a lot of enemies and I don't want you to get hurt."

"I understand."

"So, uh…how about we get your dad all cozy in here, and then get the guys and go play some hockey? I promise to be nice this time."

With a surge of relief and happiness going through her heart, April felt a huge smile creep across her face. "That sounds great, Donnie."

As they left the room, Donnie chuckled again. "So why does he call you Red, anyway?"

April laughed in response. "Because he's an idiot and he thinks he's super cool."

"So like Mikey, only more intelligent."

"You're so mean, Donnie."

"Am I wrong?"

* * *

After an exhausting evening of playing hockey, April, Casey, and the turtles were sprawled out on the bleachers contentedly licking pizza sauce off of their fingers. Mikey performed one of his signature belches, which Casey awarded a nine out of ten.

"So how's everything going with Bat-Dad?" Casey asked.

April glared at Casey. "I've told you not to call him that," she quipped.

"Why? It's totally cooler than Mr. O'Neil," Mikey said. "I wish I had a super-awesome name."

"You do," Raph said with a snort. "It's Idiotica the Shellbrain Wonder."

"That sounds pretty cool, actually…Hey!"

Donnie piped up. "He's better. We just got him situated in his own Batcave. All we need now is a Batmobile."

Even April couldn't repress a smile at that. Everyone else collapsed into riotous laughter. "Donnie!" she shouted, trying to make her voice sound harsh.

"Seriously, though," Donnie said, changing his tone. "He's in good shape until I work out that retro-mutagen. I'm making some pretty good progress on my super computer, which should help me work out the problem a little more easily. Unfortunately, I keep having problems manufacturing a suitable microchip for the motherboard's…"

"Blah blah blah, Donnie," Raph said, stuffing down another piece of pizza.

"Say…Red, didn't you say your neighbor does computer stuff?" Casey said, sitting up.

"Yeah," April said. "She works for Advancements, Inc."

Donnie nearly started drooling. "Are you serious?! They are on the cutting edge! They're supposed to be developing this new OS unlike anything the technological world has ever seen!"

"Oh, yeah," April said nonchalantly. "She's on the team that's working on that."

Donnie's voice leapt an octave. "Whoa. That. Is. _Awesome!_ I wish I could meet her!"

"Settle down, Donnie," Leo said sarcastically.

"Yeah. You better take a cold shower, dude," Mikey quipped.

"The locker rooms are that way," added Raph, with a sadistic grin.

Everyone else—including April, though she felt bad for it—burst into laughter.

"Oh, ha, ha, ha," Donnie said, folding his arms defensively.

"Sorry, man," Casey said, wiping a tear from his eye. "It's funny 'cause it's true."

_Oh, no,_ April thought. _Here we go._

Donnie, however, ignored the comment. He seemed to be deep in thought. "You actually might be onto something, Jones."

"What, about it being true?" Casey said with a snort.

Donnie shot Casey an evil look. "No, I mean about how you brought up April's neighbor. If she has access to all that technology, maybe she could help me work on the specs for this microchip. She would even have access to a way to make the delicate components requiring a vacuum for assembly."

"Why would you use a vacuum to make a chip?" Mikey said, lifting a hand into the air absurdly. "Wouldn't that suck it up? I thought you were smart, Donnie."

Donnie deadpanned. Then he shook his head. "A vacuum dome, shellbrain. With no oxygen. And why am I even telling you this?"

"I don't know. But I know it sucks. Hah! Get it? 'Cause vacuums…"

All three of the other turtles slapped their palms against their faces. "We get it, Mikey," they said simultaneously.

"I don't know," April said, hesitant to bring Satou any deeper into this. She had already had a hard enough life. What if by getting mixed up in this the Foot clan came after her? Or the Kraang? Besides, she loved her job. "She could get in serious trouble."

"That sucks," Mikey said quietly. "HAH! Get it?" he shouted.

Raphael responded by punching Mikey right off of the bleachers.

Mikey landed with a crash on the floor below. "Got it," he moaned.

"Thanks," Donnie said.

"Don't mention it," Raph replied casually.

Leo put his hand to his chin. April always thought it was funny how Leo did that. It reminded her of Splinter absentmindedly stroking his beard. Like father, like son.

"Seriously, though," Leo said. "That is a really good idea. Maybe we could pose as a correspondence client somehow. I'm sure we could spare some pizza money for a while to pay her."

Mikey had clambered back up onto the bleachers. "That. Is. The worst. Plan. Ever."

"He's right," April said. "But not because of pizza. I couldn't lie to Satou-san! I mean, she already knows about my dad and that at least one of my friends is a mutant."

All four of the turtles stared at her, their eyes wide.

"You told her about one of us?" Leo said, his voice angry. "That was incredibly stupid, April. You still don't know that she isn't with the Foot!"

"I know that she's not!" April shouted in reply. She felt anger boiling up in her like a volcano. "She's my friend!"

"But deception—"

"Shut up, 'Splinter!' I know all about deception as the ninja's blah blah blah! I'm telling you, Satou would never work for someone like Shredder. I know I could tell her all of my secrets and she wouldn't turn on me, ever! You don't know her like I do! Just because you got burned by Karai doesn't mean all kunoichis are evil, Leo!"

Leo folded his arms and frowned. "Thanks for that, April," he said.

Suddenly, April realized what she had just said. All four turtles, including Donnie, were glaring at her. She clapped her hand over her mouth.

"That was low, O'Neil," Raphael growled.

"Okay, everybody chill out for a hot second," Casey said. "Obviously, there's a lot going on here."

"Oh, shut up, Casey," April snapped. "You don't have a clue." Her tone startled her. Suddenly, without being sure why she was so upset, she burst into tears.

None of this was fair. It wasn't fair to her dad. It wasn't fair to Satou. It wasn't fair to Casey or the guys. She wanted to run and hide.

But immediately, all five of her friends were at her side.

"Hey, April. It's going to be okay," Casey said, patting her shoulder soothingly.

"We'll figure something out," Donnie said. "Something that won't hurt Satou-san. I promise."

"We just want you to be safe," Leo said. "You've had too many close calls already, sis."

"Yeah. You know we'd pummel anyone who tries to hurt you," Raph said gruffly.

"And it's not like you told her about all of us," Mikey said.

April looked up at all of her friends. "Thanks, guys," she said, smudging tears off of her face. "I'm really sorry for what I said, Leo."

Leo shook his head. "It's fine. Just—how much did you tell her about us?"

"All I said was that I had a friend who was a mutant, too. I didn't even tell her that my friend was a turtle. And—she knows that I have a sensei from Japan. But that's it."

"It's more than you should have said," Leo said sternly. Then he softened his tone. "But it can't really hurt anything, I suppose."

"It's pretty late. We can figure out something another time. Maybe we should all sleep on it," Casey suggested.

Mikey raised a brow. "That sounds really uncomfortable."

Leo rolled his eyes. "That's a good idea. We'll talk to Splinter about it, too."

"So when do I get to meet Splinter?" Casey asked eagerly.

Leo looked thoughtful. "That's probably up to him," he said.

* * *

A couple of hours later, when April finally crawled into bed, she was so physically and emotionally exhausted that she fell asleep before her head hit the pillow.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Warning: Massive romantic cheesy crap straight ahead.

* * *

"Dude, I think you should just straight up ask Satou if she can help you with the computer stuff."

April looked up from her math notebook to see Casey had absentmindedly doodled all over his graph paper. "Casey, you're supposed to be graphing a sine curve."

"Did you even hear what I just said?" Casey said, taking a sip from his can of soda.

Casey and April were sitting at the table in her apartment, trigonometry papers and graphs haphazardly spread out around them. "Yes," April said. "But we are studying right now."

"Don't you think that your dad being human again is more important? Red, if I were in your shoes I'd put everything else on hold."

"My dad would want me to work on my studies," April said, feeling defensive. She had been feeling edgy ever since they suggested asking for Satou's help.

"Your dad would want to be human again."

"You don't know my dad."

"No, but I know how I'd feel if someone could be helping me, but was working on trig instead."

April felt like she had just been punched. "You think I'm being selfish? You think I don't care?"

"I didn't say that," Casey said, reaching across the table to hold her hand.

April snatched her hand out of the way. "So what are you saying?"

"That your priorities are a little messed up, that's all."

April snorted derisively. "And yours aren't, Mister International Bounty Hunter?"

"No," Casey said, in dignified voice, "they aren't."

"Oh yeah?"

Casey slumped back in his chair. "Yeah. For example, I'd really like to just sit here and think about kissing you right now, but instead I'm prioritizing your dad's well being."

"Cute, Jones," April said, fuming.

Casey sat up straight again. "It wasn't a joke," he said. His devilish grin emphasized his missing teeth.

April's stomach flopped. "You…want to… _kiss me?_" She was excited and terrified by the thought.

"Well, yeah," Casey said, still grinning. "I really like you, Red. For someone so smart, I thought you'd have noticed by now."

April felt more flustered than she ever had in her life. She knew that there was _something_ between them, but she was startled by having Casey confront it so directly. "Well—I—ah…"

"But first things first," Casey said, crushing his now empty soda can. "What are we going to do about your dad?"

April's heart was still pounding. "I should check with Donnie on that."

Casey rolled his eyes. "Forget Donnie for now. Ask if Satou will help, and if she says yes, then ask him what to do. If she says no, then we'll find another way."

"Like stealing from her?" April said, her anger rising again. "No way."

"Come on! This is your dad we're talking about. Don't you think you owe it to him?"

April suddenly felt very guilty. If she hadn't lied to him in the first place, he never would have been mutated. But surely he wouldn't want her to compromise her values, would he? She buried her face in her hands.

"April," Casey said, softening his tone some. "Look, we don't know what the other way will be until we ask if she'll help. I just don't see how this has to be some huge mission thing."

April looked up. "There's more at stake than just me and my dad, Casey. It has to be done cautiously. I don't want to endanger Satou. She's had a really crappy life and I don't want to make that worse. The Kraang and the Foot have a way of coming after anyone who gets involved with us. Furthermore, I can't let Splinter and the guys get hurt."

"Fair point," he said. "But you should at least ask her. Tell her the risks. Then she can decide if she wants to help. If not, maybe your precious Donnie can figure it out on his own."

"'My precious Donnie?'" April snapped. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well," Casey said, folding his arms. "You do talk about him a lot."

"Yeah! 'Cause he's my best friend!"

"Oh, come on, Red—I see the way he looks at you. I gotta admit, I'm kinda jealous that you don't spend that much time with me."

April jumped up out of her chair. "Why are you doing this to me now?" she said, nearly ready to burst into tears. This whole conversation was a train wreck. "I like you too, okay, Casey? There, I said it. But my life is too complicated! It's just too freaking complicated!"

Casey leaned back from April's outburst. "I'm sorry, Red. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Well, you did!" screamed April. She ran into the kitchen and leaned over the sink, trying to hide her tears from Casey.

After a couple of minutes, Casey got up and stood next to her. "Let me un-complicate something for you," he said. "I like you, Red. I want to see you happy. I'd like to ask your dad if he's chill with us going out together."

April turned to face Casey, awestruck. His face was serious and honest. "Really?" she said, feeling more tears run down her face.

"Yeah." Casey grabbed a kitchen towel and gently wiped them away. "And I'll un-complicate something else. I'll back you on any decision you make. Either way, it sounds like Satou can take care of herself. I know you'll make the right choice for everyone. I'm sorry for pushing my opinions on you."

Lost in a whirlwind of emotion, April leaned in laid her head on Casey's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. Then, before she even realized what was happening, April O'Neil experienced her first kiss.

It made her feel like she was an explosion of joy and terror at the same time. When their lips parted, her whole body was trembling.

Casey's face was white, and he seemed startled too. His eyes seemed to be asking her, _was that okay with you_?

April didn't even know whether it was or not. She was flying recklessly through feelings she couldn't control or identify. The next thing she did know was that she was kissing him again, and then both of them broke apart laughing for no reason.

"So," Casey said, still pale but trying to sound cool and confident, "are you saying you're my girlfriend?"

April's whole body tingled; she knew she must have been blushing furiously. "Yeah," she whispered. "I guess I am."

"Well then," Casey said, "I guess we need to figure out what to do so I can ask your dad if that's okay."

"I'll ask Satou tomorrow," April said, not caring what Splinter or the turtles thought. Right now, her whole world was just her and Casey.


	17. Chapter 17

When April woke up the next morning, she stared at the ceiling blank with shock for a few minutes. Had kissing Casey been a dream?

She recounted last night's events: studying, arguing, kissing, saying goodbye to Casey, brushing her teeth, and crawling into bed while giggling like a stupid little kid.

_Am I sure that the kissing part wasn't a dream?_

She grabbed her phone to check the time. Her alarm wasn't set to go off for another two minutes. _I may as well get up. _

She went about her usual morning routine in a daydreaming haze. Her heart seemed to flutter every time she thought about the way she felt when Casey had kissed her. She felt like she was exploding with happiness.

_I can't wait to tell Satou-san,_ April thought._ I'll go down before she leaves for work and ask about the computer program. And then tell her that I have a boyfriend. A _boyfriend_! _

As April crunched through some cereal, she tried to plan out exactly how she was going to ask Satou the very delicate question. Honesty had been the best policy so far, and Splinter had commended her for being honest with Satou before.

However, Splinter had not been an advocate of asking outright. He had advised that they wait to see.

But April didn't want to wait anymore. Whatever got her dad back fastest was what she wanted. And as Casey had said, the worst that would happen is that Satou would say no.

* * *

Atsuko drained her glass of orange juice. Today was a big day; it was time for the team to present a report on their progress of the new operating system. The president of the company would be there to evaluate them.

She had to force herself to eat breakfast; nervousness kept her on the edge of nausea. However, she knew her own body too well to skip her morning meal. She would pay for skipping it with an energy crash later.

As she stared in the refrigerator trying to decide what she wanted, she heard a knock at the door. With an annoyed glance at her watch, she went over to answer the door.

It was April.

She unlocked the chain and opened the door. "Good morning, April-chan. I was about to eat breakfast. Do you want to join me?"

"Actually, Satou-san, I have to ask you something important."

"Do you mind if I eat while we talk? I have a really busy day today."

April nodded.

As Atsuko poured herself a second glass of orange juice and put some bread into the toaster, April leaned up against the counter in the kitchen. "I don't even know where to begin," April said.

Once again, Atsuko could see a child in distress looking out through April's face. She could see the repressed anxiety pouring out of April's very being. "Calm down. Take a deep breath and just start talking to me. If I'm confused, I'll let you know."

Visibly relaxing, April took several deep breaths. "I know that I can trust you, Satou-san. And I need to trust you with something really big."

At first, Atsuko found herself thinking that whatever was big to a teenager couldn't possibly be that important. Then, however, she remembered that bizarre mutants were involved—and as impossible as that seemed, Atsuko could not deny her own senses. "Thank you for your trust. I'm glad I can be here for you. What's wrong?"

"The mutagen that my dad got exposed to is really complex. My friend Donnie—oh crap! Donnie!"

"What?"

April groaned. "Why is this so complicated? Donnie's going to be so upset…"

"About what?"

"Casey and I—well, we're an item now—we kissed last night—oh, but that's not even what I needed to tell you, I was really excited to, but I just remembered Donnie…"

Atsuko restrained the urge to roll her eyes. "April."

"Yeah?"

"Ask me what you need to ask me. Then I can help you figure out the other part, okay?"

"Okay," April said. "Deep breaths.

"Donnie is trying to figure out how the mutagen works. He wants to make an antidote, so my dad doesn't have to be a mutant anymore. He's working on this supercomputer that can calculate the components of the mutagen—some of them we don't think are found on Earth—so that he can reverse them. He's having trouble with one particular microchip thing, and I was wondering if you would be willing to help him out."

Atsuko stared in disbelief. She hardly even heard the toast as it popped up.

_This is ridiculous,_ she thought to herself. Clearly April had suffered a major traumatic event and had started inventing things to cope. The freakish bat creature that April claimed was her father was inexplicable, but surely this ludicrous story was fabricated.

"You don't believe me, do you," April said, her whole face downcast. "You think I'm a paranoid schizophrenic or something."

Atsuko slowly removed the toast and put it onto her plate. "I don't know what to think," she said, trying to choose her words carefully. "But I know I can't use company resources without permission."

"Oh, Donnie's great at inventing stuff. He built my phone, even." April pulled out her unusually shaped phone to demonstrate. "He's an absolute _genius._ He might not even need resources. I just want to know if you're willing to try to help him."

Atsuko thought for a moment. If any of this was true at all, then April would have to produce another animal mutant capable of speech and computer programming, something which would be impossible to do. Agreeing wouldn't hurt anything, in that case. But, if somehow, miraculously, April was telling the truth, Atsuko would be roped into the whole bizarre deal.

"Tell you what, April-chan," Atsuko said. "I don't work with anyone before I've met them and talked to them. You introduce me to this Donnie, and I'll get to know him. He can tell me a little about his project and I'll see if it's something I am able to do."

April's eyes lit up. "So, if I introduce you, you'll help?"

"I'll _see_ if I can help," Atsuko said.

"Great! Oh, thank you so much!" April ran to Atsuko and threw her arms around her. "You're the best, Satou-san!"

Atsuko returned the hug, wondering just what she had gotten herself into. "Well, as I said, I will see what I can do. I can't make any promises."

"That's fine," April chirped. Her whole mood had changed so much that it was startling. "That's all I want. You have no idea how much hope that gives me."

Feeling uncomfortable, Atsuko decided to change the subject to something more manageable. She glanced at her watch to see how much time she had left before she needed to leave. "So, you and Casey are—what did you call it? An item?"

April's face turned pink. "Yeah. I guess. I mean, we kissed last night. He asked if I'd be his girlfriend, and I said yes."

Atsuko chewed on her toast for a moment, again trying to refrain from rolling her eyes. April was acting as though Casey had proposed to her or something. "Are you happy about that?"

"Yeah…but…Donnie isn't going to be. And he's a really great guy. I hate to hurt him like this."

Atsuko sighed. "I don't know what to tell you. Either you hurt one of them or you hurt both of them. Either way, people heal from being hurt."

"Or they turn psycho like the sh—well, like the guy who killed my sensei's wife because he was jealous."

"You yourself told me that Casey and Donnie would never do that," Atsuko said. She glanced at her watch. "Look, April-chan, I have a lot to get ready for today. Can we talk later over dinner? I'm making rice rolls."

"Sure," April said. "Thanks again, Satou-san!" She gave Atsuko a tight hug.

After April left, Atsuko wondered again whether she should call Child Protective Services. But April had said she trusted her—and she couldn't betray that. A child in need had come to her. For the sake of her dead sons, Atsuko could not abandon April.


	18. Chapter 18

The rest of the day seemed to float by for April. She got a chance for a quick hug and a kiss from Casey before classes started; sadly, their lunch and study hall were on different schedules, so they didn't get to see each other again until after school was over.

All day, she kept thinking about Casey and how she couldn't wait to see him again. If she wasn't thinking about Casey, she was thinking about Satou and hopefully un-mutating her dad. If not that, then she was thinking about Donnie and how disappointed he was going to be.

_"I want her to be happy…it's just I want to be happy too," _he had said. _"I never had a chance with her."_ His words echoed in her mind. He didn't even know that she had heard his conversation with Leo. She tried to convince herself that Donnie had been mentally bracing himself for this, so maybe he wouldn't be as crushed by it as she feared.

_Remember, Donnie deserves someone better than me,_ April told herself, completely ignoring the Civil War battles that were being written on the board during American History. _I'm not smart enough or nice enough for him. I'm glad I'm with Casey. If Donnie was my boyfriend, I'd always be feeling inadequate compared to him. You made the right choice, April._

Even so, she felt guilty.

Fleetingly, April thought that maybe she had made the choice while under too much pressure—but when she thought about how she felt when Casey's lips had touched hers, she lapsed into daydreams and forgot all about her doubts.

When the final bell rang, April hurried to her locker. Casey was waiting there for her, and after she had grabbed her books, they walked out of the school together.

"So, you wanna go for smoothies or something?" Casey asked.

"I'd love to, Casey, but I always train with Splinter on Fridays."

"Oh. What about dinner, then?"

"I'm eating with Satou tonight."

"Oh yeah—how did that go this morning?"

"It could have gone better," April said with a sigh. "I get the idea that she thinks I'm a little off the deep end. But she said that if I actually introduce her to Donnie, then she might think about helping us."

"Makes sense," Casey said. "I mean, it sounds like she just needs proof. Would you have believed yourself before you got wound up in all of this?"

April laughed. "Not a chance." She hugged Casey. "What about Saturday night?"

"Yeah, that won't work," Casey said. "Well, I mean, I could call Raphael and cancel our get-together. I just got the new game console that came out and invited him over to play."

"You're hanging out with Raph?" April said. "That's so cute. I knew you guys would get along."

"Well, I can cancel it. You're more important to me now."

April felt herself blush. "Nah, don't cancel it. Raphael needs to get away from his brothers every now and then."

"Yeah. That's why I didn't invite the rest of them."

"Well, I should get going. Splinter doesn't like it when I'm late."

After a final hug and kiss goodbye, April headed to the lair.

* * *

If April's head hadn't been so up in the clouds, her intuition might have alerted her to the pair of eyes watching her from the school roof. Instead, she was completely oblivious that Karai was laughing bitterly as the two young lovers said goodbye to each other.

* * *

"April! You are not paying attention to your form!" Splinter snapped. "Balance is crucial for this kata. Keep your knees bent!"

"Hai, Sensei," April said. It was nearly the fifth time in twenty minutes that Splinter had reprimanded her for not paying attention to her lesson.

"Is there something you would like to tell me?" Splinter asked, giving her a stern look.

April froze. She would much rather tell Donnie about her conversation with Satou first, since Donnie was less likely to jump down her throat for it. "What makes you think I have something to tell you?" April asked, trying to sound innocent.

Splinter practically shot death rays at her out of his eyes. April had the feeling that if she were one of the turtles, he would have already grabbed her by the pressure point on the back of her neck. In fact, she was relieved that the turtles were on a training exercise with Leo, since Mikey would likely be laughing at her.

"Uh…I do," April said. She thought around for something to cover it, but she knew that Splinter could smell a lie from miles away.

_So, cover up with another truth. Something he'll buy._

"Well?" Splinter said sharply.

"I'm sorry, Sensei. I know that I'm doing poorly. It's just that I'm really distracted. Casey and I started going out last night, and I can't stop thinking about him."

_There. Perfectly convincing. _

Mikey's voice called out from behind her. "Noo way! April, you charmer!"

April wheeled around to see all four turtles standing in the door to the dojo. Her heart plummeted into her stomach. She hadn't wanted them to overhear this.

"You're going out with Jones?" Raph said with a grin. "That punk."

Leo smiled at her warmly. "Congratulations, April." However, she could see the quick flick of concern in his eyes as he glanced at Donnie.

_Donnie._

His face was completely impassive; his eyes were shiny like glass, as though moisture might be collecting in them. When their eyes met, April thought for a moment that she might burst into tears on the spot. It seemed like a century before he spoke.

"You must be happy, April," Donnie said. His voice was as flat as if he were one of the Kraang.

April attempted a weak smile. "I am," she said.

Donnie nodded. "I'm happy for you," he said, his voice cracking slightly. "Jones is a good guy."

"Yeah, he is," April said, holding back tears.

"Uh, Sensei," Donnie said tightly, bowing toward Splinter, "I've got some biological materials in the lab that need to be checked on right now. Is it okay if I do that instead of staying to review training?"

"Of course," Splinter said gently.

Donnie bowed again and then all but ran from the room.

_Donnie! _April cried out silently. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to collect herself, breathing deeply the way that Splinter had taught her. When she opened her eyes, she saw that the three remaining turtles and Splinter were exchanging meaningful glances with each other.

Abruptly, Mikey came over to April and gave her a hug. "Don't feel bad 'cause of Donnie, April," he said.

"Yeah. He just needs some space," Leo said, nodding.

"He'll get over it eventually," Raph added, in his usual less-than-sympathetic tone of voice.

_There. It's all finally out in the open,_ April thought. Donnie's crush on April had been the elephant in the room for so long that it was almost embarrassing to hear everyone discussing it openly. _Now maybe we can all get on with our lives._

She had hoped that her new relationship with Casey would simplify her feelings about Donnie, but it had only complicated things more. She wished she would have just slapped Casey instead of kissing him. Then at least everyone could keep pretending nothing was wrong.

"Perhaps we should curtail our training for today," Splinter said, in a tone of voice that indicated he understood that everyone needed some space.

"Wait, we're getting curled tails? You're the only one who has a tail, Sensei," Michelangelo said in his usual bubble-headed manner.

Raph just slapped Mikey across the face in response.

But April felt Donnie's absence acutely. Everything felt abnormal without Donnie's ridiculous overreaction to Mikey's linguistic mishaps. April could almost hear him saying, "'_Curtail' means 'cut short,' you shellbrain!"_

"Thank you, Sensei," Leo said, with a bow.

"Of course," Splinter replied. Before he went into his room, Splinter patted April on the shoulder.

_Well, now what? _April thought.


	19. Chapter 19

As Casey walked in through the doors of his home, he was greeted by an intense waft of the smell of chocolate chip cookies.

"Jen, are you baking cookies?" he said excitedly, as he walked into the kitchen.

His foster mother stood surrounded by a sea of dirty dishes, flour dusted all over her clothes. "How on earth did you guess, Case?" She gestured to the cooling rack where some cookies lay. "Have one. They're still warm."

Eagerly, Casey grabbed a couple of the cookies and snarfed them down promptly. "Are these for your book club?" he asked, his mouth full.

"Yeah," Jen replied, as she filled the sink up with hot sudsy water. She started washing the beaters and mixing bowl. "How was school?"

"You know, same old."

"Do you have tutoring tonight, since there isn't a game this week?"

"Come on, Jen. Tutoring is Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"Mmm. How's that going?"

Casey suppressed a grin when he thought of April. "Oh, you know. Educational."

Jen shot him a knowing look. "I bet it is," she said.

Casey changed the subject. "Is Sean working late again tonight?" His foster father had been roped into ridiculously late shifts at the factory lately, sometimes not making it home until midnight.

"Yes," Jen said, putting a clean bowl in the drying rack. "You know, he said that you were not home when he got here on Wednesday. You want to tell me about that?"

Casey cringed. There was no fooling these people. Just because of his past, they assumed that he was always running around with the wrong sort of crowd. After all of his efforts at rehab the past summer, he was grateful that they were keeping tabs on him; however, it was supremely annoying that they waited for a day or two before confronting him.

"I was out with April, the girl who's tutoring me," he said. "A few of her friends and I were playing some hockey."

"When the rink was closed?" Jen said suspiciously.

"I have a key to the rink. I always leave it nice when I'm done. I have an 'in' with the school to use it. I guess coach thinks it'll keep me off the streets."

"Tell me the truth," Jen said sternly. "Were you drinking with them?"

A surge of anger rose up in him. He had spent all summer trying to get away from that lifestyle. "No!" he shouted, feeling heat rise in his face. "Why do you always assume that's what I'm doing? Haven't you noticed that I'm different this year? Haven't I proven myself to you?"

Before Jen could reply, he slung his gear on the table and ran upstairs to his room, where he slammed the door shut angrily.

His heart pounded with rage. Whenever he got angry, this happened. The angrier he got, the more he started to think about his past. His dad's anger. How much he hated seeing it. How much he hated the smell of vodka on his dad's breath.

How he hated himself for walking down that same path.

Watching his mom and dad fight—watching his mother so carefully cover up her bruises every day and falling into a drunken stupor to cope with her pain—it made him so angry.

When he had first lifted the bottle of distilled liquid to his own lips, he lost himself somewhere. Even after his parents were arrested and he got into the foster care system, he couldn't stop. Foster family to foster family, they all gave up on him because he couldn't control his drinking. He could always find someone to supply him.

Sean and Jen were the first who hadn't given up on him. He had been here with them for nearly a year now, and he had hated them for sending him to rehab. But when he came home, he had a new identity. He still struggled—and times like this, when anger raged in his very blood—he longed for the numbing that he knew alcohol could provide.

He hated himself for it. He wanted to be a different person, especially now since he had met April. She was sweet and beautiful and interesting. His life had taken a new direction—fighting crime and robo-ninjas? If he could eradicate the scum from his city—scum like his father—then maybe his life would be worth it.

April. At some point, he would have to tell her the truth about his sordid past. He was only seventeen, and three years of his life had been swallowed up by alcohol abuse. He was behind in school because of it, and it was only thanks to Jen and Sean that he had any fighting chance at success. He hadn't been honest about why he broke up with his last girlfriend—she had dumped him because he couldn't stay sober. He hadn't even been honest about saving it for marriage—he'd always wanted to, but alcohol addiction ruined that part of his life too. Now that he was sober, he wanted to make sure that he wouldn't do that with another girl until he got married. At some point, he would have to tell April that he'd lied to her.

But he wished that he could just pretend that his whole life hadn't happened up until this school year.

There was a soft knock at the door. Drawing a deep breath, he opened the door.

Jen stood in the hallway. "I want to talk to you," she said.

"About what?" Casey snapped.

"I want to tell you that I can see that you have changed," she said. "And I'm proud of you for that. But I know how hard you worked for this. I couldn't look at myself in the mirror if I didn't work to help you keep it."

Casey's anger softened somewhat. He nodded. He didn't know what else to say.

"So, these friends of April's—what are their names?"

"Leo, Raphael, Donnie, and Mikey," Casey said, figuring there was no harm in saying their names. "They all have the same martial arts teacher as April."

Jen's posture relaxed somewhat. "That's neat," she said. "Are they at Roosevelt?"

"They go to private school," Casey said quickly. "I forget what it's called."

Jen nodded. "Okay. I trust you."

"Thanks, Jen."

"Say, would you mind taking out the trash before it gets dark?"

"Sure. I'll do that now."

Casey hauled the trash bags out to the dumpster in the back alley. He was about ready to go back inside when he heard a soft sound behind him. He stopped and looked around cautiously. His foster parents lived in a pretty safe neighborhood, for New York. Besides, any punks loitering around _Casey Jones_ were in for a dose of hockey-style wrath.

Casey walked back out into the alleyway, looking around. Once again, he thought he heard something.

Then, a little tortoise-shell kitten rocketed out from beneath the dumpster.

_Well, that's disappointing, _he thought. _I was hoping I'd get to kick some butts._

He turned around to head back inside and nearly yelped when he saw a person standing behind him.

"Surprise, Casey Jones."

A cloud of power went flying into his face. It made him cough; his vision blurred and his eyes stung viciously. The next thing he knew was that he was on the ground, something sharp at his throat. A hazy figure loomed above him.

"Well, well, well," taunted his captor.

By the sound of her voice and the shape of her outline, Casey assumed it was a girl. Still coughing and choking, he managed to blurt out, "Well?"

"It's good fortune that we met," she said, in a self-satisfied tone. "You see, I have a problem. A chain that's really hard to break. And I just found my weak link."

Casey coughed again. His vision was starting to return. "You're with those ninja creeps who are always stalking April."

"April O'Neil is just a link in the chain," said the girl, in scathing tones. "And you are the link I need to get to her."

"What makes you think I'd help you?" Casey challenged. He was trying to formulate a plan for escape. At the moment, he was pinned—disadvantaged from his loss of vision. His voice was too hoarse to call for help, and even if it wasn't, _Casey Jones_ didn't call for help.

"Oh, let's see," the girl said. "I can think of a few reasons. Maybe you'd like to keep precious Mommy and Daddy in there safe. Oh, but that's right. They aren't really your parents. Your parents are in jail. That still works for me. My father has friends in jail."

"Who are you?" rasped Casey, rage building inside of him. "How do you know that?"

"The name's Karai. I'm surprised you haven't heard of me, actually. Or has April not let you in on the loop?"

"My parents!" Casey shouted. The effort made his throat feel like it was on fire. "How do you know about them?" His father he couldn't care less about—but his mother, a victim, broken by circumstances…he couldn't let anything happen to her.

"Your guidance counselor keeps very detailed notes," Karai replied. "I broke into his office the afternoon. Amazing information, really. Does April know about your little summer vacation?"

"You think that blackmailing me will work? That's the best you've got?" His anger burned hotter and hotter.

"Oh, no. I have way better than that."

His vision cleared enough to where he could start to see details. He saw his chance. "Good!" he rasped. With a violent motion, he kicked out her feet from under her, rolling at the same time to escape from beneath her blade. He ran to grab a wooden two-by-four that he had seen poking up out of the dumpster.

But she still had the advantage. He couldn't see perfectly, and she was fast. He had barely grabbed the two-by-four when he was blocking strikes from her sword.

"You want to play hero, lover boy?" Karai taunted.

"Yeah," Casey rasped. "Maybe I do!" He rolled off to the side. Using his stick as a club, he launched a glass bottle out of the recycling bin right toward her.

That time, she wasn't fast enough. He heard her yell. Through his dim vision, he could see the cuts the broken glass had made on her forehead.

"Cute," she said. "Try these on for size."

Throwing stars sailed toward him. He hit the ground, but one of the blades cut his scalp.

"Ninja throwing stars," Casey replied, jumping back up. "Not predictable at all."

"They're called 'shurikens,' idiot," Karai said. "I'm glad you enjoyed them."

Another volley came flying. Casey ducked behind the dumpster, but before he could recover, he realized that Karai was charging straight toward him. She had pulled out a chain from inside her armor, and by the time he realized she was swinging it at him, it was too late to react.

The length of chain wrapped around him, pinning his arms at his sides. He tried to swing the two-by-four just with his wrists, but he didn't have the leverage.

He was on the ground, face down, chained. A steel-toed foot kicked him in the side, and he rolled over. Karai sat on his body, pinning him, holding a short blade at his throat.

"You've got a weakness, Jones," she hissed. "I happened to read about it in your counselor's file."

Casey struggled uselessly. His vision was almost clear again. He watched as she reached with her spare arm to take something metal off of her belt. He was trying to figure out what kind of weapon it was when he saw her flick open the top with her thumb.

_A metal flask._

"Since you're so into ninja culture now," Karai said. "I was thinking about sake. But your little dossier said you prefer vodka."

When she started to lower the flask toward his face, he realized her plan. His whole body seized up with terror. She had read his file very closely—about all of his prior attempts at sobriety failing the second a drop of alcohol touched his tongue.

He couldn't go back. He wouldn't. He pressed his lips shut tightly. He wanted to shout obscenities at her, but he knew that the minute his mouth opened she would tip the flask.

Karai laughed. "So brave. So noble. You seem like you aren't a terrible person when you're sober," she said, her voice dripping with derision. "Fortunately for me, it would appear that when you're off the wagon, you'll do just about anything—and have done just about everything—to get your fix. And also fortunately for me, my father is willing to be your supplier."

Casey shook his head violently at her.

"You think you just need to keep your mouth shut?" Karai said. "You think that will be enough?" She held the bottle close to his face and tipped it.

Instantly, Casey's nasal passages were on fire. Alcohol dripped down the back of his throat from his nose; the mucous lining in his nostril absorbed it directly into his bloodstream. He couldn't breathe. He started gasping and choking—and Karai thrust the flask into his mouth, draining it.

Casey thought he was going to drown—but most of it he was able to cough up. Nevertheless it was too late. His body was responding to the small amount he had consumed. Alcohol spread through his system like the caressing fingers of a familiar lover.

He was hardly aware of Karai standing up and unwrapping her chain from around him. "I think you may be wanting more of that," she said bitterly. "Meet me at the old radio station tomorrow night this same time, and I'll bring you a whole bottle."

Casey lay immobile on the ground, numb even to the tears that leaked from the corners of his eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note: Thanks again for all the reviews, I really appreciate it. However, please refrain from excessive profanity in your reviews. Sorry I haven't posted for a few days; my internet has been acting stupid. Happy reading!

Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT.

* * *

April sat in the den with Leo, Raph, and Mikey while they watched the Channel 6 five o'clock news. Carlos Chiang O'Brian Gambe enthusiastically reported the latest batch of typical New York violence, discussed polls on the new mayor, and so on. April hardly paid any attention. Her whole mind was distracted by the shut door of Donnie's normally open lab.

_He's just going to have to get over it, like Raphael said,_ April thought. However, she still felt terrible to think that he might be sitting in there crying. Even more, she had wanted to tell Donnie about her conversation with Satou about helping with the microchip. But now, she couldn't just waltz into the lab and say, _"Hey, Donnie! I know I just squashed your heart and everything, but do you mind dedicating more of your life to doing stuff for me? Thanks, dude!" _ That would make her feel even more like a jerk than she did already.

"I gotta admit," Leo said, snapping April out of her private thoughts, "Carlos fifty-names kind of bugs me. He just always seems a little too happy about everything."

"I bet you'd be a pretty good news reporter, April," Mikey said. "You do a good job investigating Kraang stuff with us. And you don't take 'tude from nobody."

Once again, April felt Donnie's absence. He should have been there with them, saying, _"That's a double negative, Mikey!"_

"Yeah, maybe you should study journalism," Leo said.

April scoffed at the idea. "Are you kidding? I'd probably end up punching people instead of taking notes."

Raph looked up from the magazine he was holding, grinning widely. "I knew there was a reason we saved you from the Kraang," he said.

April glanced at the time. Donnie had been alone for almost an hour now, and she would need to leave pretty soon if she wanted to have time to check on her dad before dinner with Satou. Maybe Donnie had cooled down some.

Standing up from the couch and stretching, April said, "I need to ask Donnie a question about my dad."

All three of the turtles frowned slightly. Raph buried his nose deeper into his magazine. Leo and Mikey exchanged a nervous look. April could tell that they wanted her to leave Donnie alone. But none of them said anything to stop her.

Swallowing hard, April walked over to the lab and knocked on the door. She heard some clattering, what sounded like a nose being blown, and then footsteps approaching the door. When the door slid open, April felt like she had just been punched in the gut.

Donnie's face was streaked with dried tears. His mask was slightly askew, as though he had just tied it back on after having taken it off to cry. His eyes were red and puffy. He cleared his throat. "What's up, April?" he asked hoarsely.

"Uh," April said. "I just wanted to ask about my dad."

"You know where his cave is," Donnie said, with a slight hint of reproach in his voice. "What do you need me for?" The phrase was fraught with implications.

_Donnie, I do need you,_ April inwardly moaned. _You're my friend. I can't do any of this without you. _

But at that moment, she knew that it was too soon to ask Donnie about working with Satou. She would have to wait until tomorrow, maybe longer. She owed him that much.

"I guess I don't, really," she replied. Then she mentally slapped herself for saying it that way. It sounded even worse than anything else she could have said.

"I guess not," Donnie said.

"Sorry to bother you," April said, holding back tears.

Donnie shrugged. "Let me know if he needs anything, will you?"

April nodded. "See you tomorrow."

"See you." Then, Donnie pulled the door closed again.

April turned around to see Leo, Raph, and Mikey all staring. The minute she saw them, they immediately went back to what they were doing as if they hadn't been watching.

"I'm going to go see my dad and then head out, guys," April announced. "I'm hanging out with Satou tonight."

Leo looked up. "You aren't going to talk to her about helping with the computer project, right? We agreed to wait on that."

April tried to keep her cool. "No," she said. "We are not going to be talking about that." It was at least half-true—they were going to be talking about other things, probably.

Leo seemed suspicious. "I don't really like you hanging out with her so much, April. I think you've started to feel a false sense of security around her."

"Splinter says she's probably not a threat."

"You should still be cautious. You guys are only meeting in public places, right?"

"Of course," April said, hating herself for lying. But she knew that Leo was wrong about Satou. Satou would never turn on her. Satou was like the mother she'd never had.

"Okay," Leo said, his tone indicating that he still did not approve of April's choices.

"Stop worrying, Leo," Raph said. "You always worry too much."

"Those are going to be your famous last words someday, Raphael," Leo said airily.

Raph cracked his knuckles. "Sounds like you just said yours, Leonardo."

April left the room, ignoring the yelling and crashing that ensued from behind as Raph and Leo started fighting.

_Why does it have to be so complicated? _

* * *

Atsuko cursed to herself on the subway ride home from work. The new OS presentation had been a failure, thanks to one of her incompetent co-workers. He had managed to erase half of one of their shared files for the presentation, and while Atsuko had multiple backups, she didn't have immediate access to them during the meeting. She had to improvise—everything at the last minute had fallen on her shoulders. She had succeeded in keeping corporate from pulling their funding, but neither were they able to secure the bid for additional funding.

Not a complete failure, perhaps, but a failure nevertheless.

She felt weak and vulnerable after the long day. And now, in this state, she had to keep her commitment to April and have dinner with her. April had a way of making Atsuko remember emotions that she did not want to. And this morning, she had said they would make rice rolls together.

Rice rolls. With longing sigh, she remembered coming home after school and making rice rolls with her sister. They would giggle and gossip and talk about boys, then they would present their parents with the food. Now, she would be making the rolls with April. They would be giggling and gossiping and talking about boys.

It was almost too much. If she spent any more time with April at all, her entire mental defense system would come crashing down around her.

_Maybe it's time to accept it,_ a small part of her said. _Accept and let go._ But that would almost be more painful than keeping it all bottled inside.

Once she had gotten home, she started boiling the sushi rice and then went to change into more comfortable clothes. She had just let her hair down when the doorbell rang. She ran to open the door, and greeted April with a weary smile. "April-chan," she said. "Come in."

"Wow, Satou-san," April said, concern filling her youthful face. "You look tired. How was your meeting?"

Atsuko rolled her eyes. "One of my co-workers is lucky I didn't have my sai with me."

"That bad?" April gasped. "Oh, no! You've been working so hard on this!" Her voice was so honest, and her spirit so open and caring. "I'm so sorry!"

Atsuko couldn't contain the surge of affection that welled up inside of her. She embraced April and kissed her on the forehead. "Sweet child," she said. "Empathy is a rare gift and curse. Either way, cherish it while it is yours."

April smirked. "Cherishing curses is my specialty," she said dryly.

Atsuko laughed. "Come, I'll show you how to make rice rolls," she said. "Real sushi—better than what you'll find at restaurants in America. You know, many people don't realize that 'sushi' doesn't necessarily mean fish at all."

"Yeah, the fish is called 'sashimi', right?"

As she turned the temperature down on the rice, she thought of what it would be like to have her own daughter to teach about cooking. She might have taught her sons a little, but not much. She might have even had a daughter at some point, if Kenshin hadn't been taken away from her—

Atsuko froze. That was the first time she had even thought her husband's name in years.

"Satou-san? Satou-san? Atsuko?"

It took her a moment to realize that April was talking to her; for a moment, her old name—her real name—had come back to her. But she took a deep breath and forced the memories away. "Sorry, April. I'm just a little distracted."

Step by step, Atsuko explained all of the steps for making rice rolls. She had laid out a rather large selection of fillings, and they were having a lot of fun making them. Though she kept teetering on the brink of her memories, Atsuko thought that she hadn't been this happy in sixteen years.

"You know," April said, "my sensei was trying to show me how to make these, but they weren't nearly as good. We did everything the same way, too. The rice just wouldn't hold together."

"Did you have the right kind of rice?"

"Yeah, it was sushi rice."

"What kind of vinegar did you use?"

"Rice vinegar," April said. "Is that not right?"

Atsuko smiled. "The secret—my family's secret—is to add tablespoon of brown rice syrup in with the boiling water."

To Atsuko's surprise, April laughed. "I don't think that's as a big a secret as you think it is," she said. "My sensei does that too."

"That really surprises me," Atsuko said, taken aback. "My sister and I always did it that way—that was my mother's trick. But adding anything else then is generally considered sushi sacrilege."

"He said that's how his wife made it," April said with a shrug, taking another bite of a roll.

"Where did you say your sensei is from?"

April swallowed. "I don't really think I can tell you."

"Of course," Atsuko said. She tried to dismiss the warning bells inside her head. She felt like she ought to be making connections between past and present, but her defense mechanisms forced all of the thoughts back inside their vault. Nevertheless, she felt a heightened sense of caution as she looked at the teenager who sat across from her. "Did you let the rice cool slowly, or did you flash-cool it?

"We cooled it in the refrigerator," April said.

"There is your problem. It needs to cool slowly. The longer it sits, the glueyer the starch in the rice becomes."

"Oh. So your mom taught you how to make these?"

"Yes."

"I barely remember my mom," April said wistfully. "I was little when she died."

Atsuko tried not to think about her children. "I'm sorry. How did she die?"

"Brain cancer."

Atsuko simply nodded, unsure of what else to say.

Fortunately, April changed the subject. "Donnie found out about Casey and me today," she said. "It didn't happen the way I wanted it to. I'd wanted to break it more gently—but he overheard me telling Sensei about it. I felt so bad when I saw his reaction. I thought that choosing Casey would make me feel less—attached, maybe?—to Donnie, but now I just feel like I betrayed my best friend in the world."

_Betrayed. _The word resonated in Atsuko's heart. It was what _he _had said when her sister chose Hamato Yoshi. _Betrayed. _Atsuko tried to push down the rising fear inside of her. There was no way that April could be connected to _him._

But hadn't _he_ shown her the full extent of _his_ cruelty? Would it be beyond _him_ to use an innocent child to hurt her even more deeply? How could _he_ have found her in New York?

Her instincts were clamoring too loudly. _Tread carefully now,_ she said to herself.

April hadn't stopped talking. "…and I could tell he'd been crying. I was going to ask if he would come meet you tonight, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

Atsuko took a moment to re-orient herself in the conversation. When she realized what April was talking about, Atsuko suppressed a chuckle. Naturally, April had failed to produce a talking, computer-savvy mutant creature. This simply doubled Atsuko's resolve to help April get past her traumatic experience, whatever that had been. However, it also doubled her caution. A mentally disturbed girl would be the perfect tool in _his_ hands.

"Perfectly understandable," Atsuko said, nodding. "It would have been too soon."

"Yeah," sighed April. "It would have been." She glanced over at Atsuko's weapon case. "Hey, can you show me more of the two-handed tessen techniques?"

Atsuko smiled. This was something that would be easy to do. They spent nearly an hour working on various katas, laughing and having fun.

When it was late, Atsuko started putting all of the tessens away.

"I wish I could get another tessen to match mine," April said longingly. "Or get a set of matching ones. I checked prices, but it looks a little pricier than I could afford."

"I'd let you borrow my matching set," Atsuko said, "but it was very, very expensive. It's not that I don't trust you—it's just that they are nearly pristine and haven't seen combat. I feel like I remember you saying that one of mine was almost identical to yours, though."

"Oh, yeah," April said. She pointed to the black tessen with a clan symbol cut into it. "Mine is just like this, but it's not your clan symbol. That would probably affect the weight, wouldn't it?"

Atsuko nearly froze. "It's not my clan symbol," she blurted out, almost defensively. "I bought that at an auction. I thought it was interesting. And these are custom made, which makes them more valuable."

It was a half-truth. Kobayashi Kenshin's family name was no longer hers. After she had escaped, she saw her own tessen, the one her sister had given her as a wedding gift, up for bid. Atsuko had given one just like it to her, but with the Hamato clan's emblem.

"Oh," April said. "Well, I wouldn't want to borrow anything _very_ valuable."

Suddenly, Atsuko realized that she had an opportunity to see if April was working with _him._ If she sent the tessen with April, and _he _saw it, _he _might come after her again.

But she would be ready. And she would make _him_ pay for what he did to her.

Finally, _his_ name surfaced in her memories—the name that went with the horrible, taunting voice.

_Oroku Saki_ would bleed to death in front of her, even if she had to sacrifice her own life in the process.

"No," Atsuko said, making her voice as kind as she could. "I got it cheaply. Just be careful with it. Be sure to tell me what your sensei thinks of it."

April grinned widely. "Sweet! Thanks, Satou-san!" She glanced at the clock. "Oh, I'd better get going. Want to have dinner again tomorrow? We could go to Murikami's."

"Perfect."

After April had left, Atsuko went to do her evening meditation.

She would have to summon all of her strength if she was going to do this and succeed.


	21. Chapter 21

April had finished all of her Saturday morning chores at her apartment. The bills were paid, all of the cleaning had been done, and she had even gotten a head start on one of her homework assignments. When eleven o'clock rolled around, she sent Casey a text to see if he wanted to get some lunch.

It was nearly half an hour before he replied. _Sure. Jason's Deli?_

_Sounds good,_ April texted back to him. She loaded up her book bag. Normally, she would grab her pajamas and a change of clothes and stay at the lair on Saturday nights, but since she was hanging out with Satou tonight, she figured she would sleep at home.

When the buzzer went off, she knew that Casey was downstairs waiting for her. After double-checking that her hair was just right, she nearly flew downstairs.

When she swung open the door and saw Casey standing outside, she nearly yelled. He looked terrible. His eyes looked red and irritated, and there was a scratch across his face. "Casey!" she cried, running to him. "What happened?"

Casey laughed. "Would you believe it?" he said. "I got mugged in the alley behind my house last night. Some tool-bag with a can of mace snuck up on me. But I gave him what he had coming. Nobody messes with Casey Jones and gets away with it."

Something about Casey's answer left April feeling uneasy. She wasn't sure what it was, but her intuition was screaming that something about this wasn't right. "Did you go to the E.R.?"

"Nah, Jen fixed me up. You should've seen her. She was freaking out."

Once again, April had the distinct feeling that something was off. From what Casey had occasionally mentioned about his foster parents, she suspected that Jen would have insisted he go to the emergency room. "I'm surprised she didn't take you to the hospital. Did you file a police report?"

Casey just laughed again. "We did. Gave them a description and they took pictures and all that. But I didn't want to go to the E.R. Jen finally gave up on trying to convince me."

April wasn't sure why she felt so weird about this. Casey's reaction to being mugged was characteristic of his _Goongala! _attitude to anything dangerous. She knew he wouldn't lie to her. But her instincts wouldn't quit clamoring. _I'm just being paranoid, _she said to herself. With an effort, she shrugged it off.

"Well, I'm glad I've got you with me," she said. "I know who to call when I get mugged."

"I hope that never happens," Casey said, suddenly concerned.

"Oh, it has," April said. "Some Purple Dragons stole my phone once."

"Those punks…I should kick their butts."

"The turtles already did," April replied. "It was last year."

"Well, then they're due for a reminder call."

"You're sweet, Casey," April said, giggling.

"I know," he said, flashing his gapped grin.

After they had gone to the deli and gorged themselves on excellent sandwiches, April glanced at her watch. "I'd better get going. They usually start afternoon training in about an hour and I want to get there with time to warm up."

"Oh, hey, tell Raph not to come over to my place until seven, will you? Jen and Sean changed the time of their movie so it won't be safe for him to come over until they're gone."

"Sure thing," April said, once again getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Well, see you later!"

They hugged and kissed each other goodbye, and then April set off for the lair. The whole way there, April kept trying to shake the feeling that something was wrong. She convinced herself that she was just worried about Casey. Why shouldn't something feel wrong when you find out your boyfriend was mugged? She told herself to stop worrying. Finally, she was able to silence her nagging instincts, and just in time to do a little warm-up in the dojo.

She walked into the dojo to find all four of the turtles were already in there doing warm-ups. Raph was doing pushups with his sai, Mikey was stretching his arms, and Donnie and Leo were doing sit-ups together.

"Hey guys!" she said cheerily. She couldn't wait to show them her two-handed techniques.

Raph grunted his acknowledgement of her presence halfway through a pushup; Mikey waved between stretches.

"Hey, April," Leo said, looking up at her from his position on the floor. "You missed lunch."

"Oh, I had lunch with Casey."

"Well, we had pizza," Mikey said, stretching out his triceps. "So whatever you ate couldn't be nearly as good. Unless it was also pizza."

"We got grinders," April said. "See, unlike you, Mikey, some people like to vary the items that they consume."

"Yeah, when you live in the sewer that doesn't always work out," Raph said.

April glanced over at Donnie, who hadn't said anything to her yet. He seemed to be very intently counting the number of reps he had done so far. She felt a little disappointed. It wasn't unusual for Donnie to be so meticulous about counting, but she had become accustomed to his dropping everything immediately when she entered the room. Instantly, she felt guilty for being so selfish. His non-reaction was positive. She shouldn't want Donnie to keep liking her when she was involved with Casey now.

April started to loosen up her joints with a few stretches. "Guess what, guys," she said, while attempting a forward fold.

All four turtles looked over at her, even Donnie. April felt relieved when she saw that his brown eyes were looking at her with interest instead of resentment.

She stood up. "Check this out." Immediately, she whipped out her tessens and flipped them open. Hers and Satou's could have been twins if not for the different insignias. She performed several of the moves that Satou had taught her.

"Whoa," Leo said, grinning widely. "Sweet! Where'd you get the other one?"

"Satou-san let me borrow it," April said.

Leo's smile faded some, but he didn't reprimand her.

"That was awesome," Mikey said, clapping his hands. "Do it again."

Splinter walked into the room while April was finishing the most complex of the katas. "Most impressive, April," he said.

April refolded the tessens and bowed. "Thank you, Sensei. Satou Atsuko taught those forms to me, and she let me borrow one of her tessens."

Splinter smiled. "May I see it?"

"Hai, Sensei," April said, handing him Satou's tessen.

The moment Splinter opened the tessen, his smile faded. He stared at the insignia, wide-eyed. "This is the Kobayashi emblem," he said, with awe. He turned it over in his hands, shaking his head. "It can't be," he muttered.

"What is it, Sensei?" Leo asked in alarm.

Splinter looked at April. When he spoke, his voice was unusually harsh. "Where did your friend get this?" he demanded.

April was taken aback. "She's a collector. She said she found this at an auction, and bought it because custom tessens like this are generally really valuable."

Splinter said nothing. He continued to examine the weapon, still shaking his head in disbelief.

"Who are the Kobayashis, Sensei?" Donnie asked.

Splinter drew a deep breath and refolded the tessen. "I did not know them well," he said, handing the weapon back to April. "However, I was present at the wedding of Kobayashi Kenshin, when he married Tang Shen's sister, Tang Mei." He closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "Tang Shen had that tessen custom-made for her. Several years later, when Shen and I married, Tang Mei gave Shen the very tessen that I gave to you, April."

April stared at the tessen Satou had given her. She was awed.

"I never saw two women so deeply connected," Splinter said. "It would seem that destiny has seen fit to reunite them even after their deaths."

"Wait—deaths?" April said in surprise. "Tang Mei is dead, too?"

"The Shredder—" Splinter started, but he could not finish for a moment. He was silent while he recomposed himself. "The Shredder had Kobayashi Kenshin's family murdered, even their two sons. They died only a week before the Shredder came to destroy me as well."

April's head was spinning. Two sons. _"I knew a woman in Japan…their rivalry didn't end until they had killed the woman, along with anyone connected to her. I was targeted because I knew her…He wanted to use me to punish the other man. So he killed my husband and two sons in front of me."_

It couldn't be. Could it?

"You're sure Tang Mei was killed?" April asked.

"Why do you ask?" Splinter said.

_ "Be sure to tell me what your sensei thinks of that,"_ Satou had said. Had she also suspected a connection? She had said that she and her sister made rice rolls with the 'secret' trick of brown rice syrup. Everything was falling into place. April debated whether she should tell Splinter about her suspicions. Perhaps she should check with Atsuko first. Perhaps she ought not say anything.

"It's just—that's terrible," April said, shaking her head. "I knew Shredder was bad, but that's worse than I thought he would ever do."

"Oroku Saki has shown that his cruelty is nearly limitless," Splinter said heavily.

"And that's why we're going to kick his tin-can helmet in," Raph growled.

April became lost in thought, hardly hearing the rest of the turtles clamoring their agreement with Raphael. Could this really be possible? Could Satou Atsuko actually be Kobayashi Tang Mei?

_Oroku Saki has shown that his cruelty is nearly limitless._

"_He raped me every night."_

Suddenly, April's whole being seemed engulfed in rage. If Satou was Tang Mei, then that would make Shredder her yearlong captor, who had raped her again and again and again…

April briefly imagined taking off Shredder's head with her tessen.

A gentle hand touched her shoulder. "You okay, April?"

April jumped, and looked over to see Donnie standing next to her with concern in his face. _Oh, Donnie,_ she thought, longing to hug him. "Yeah—I'm just really upset. I didn't know that this tessen had such a terrible story attached to it."

"All weapons tell stories," Splinter said. "But that tessen also tells of sisterly love, April, and that is a beautiful thing."

"Hai, Sensei," April said.

Splinter drew a deep breath. "Forgive me, my children," he said. "I need to be alone."

"I can lead training today, Sensei," Leo said.

Splinter nodded, then returned to his room.

"Wow," muttered Raph. "I didn't even know Tang Shen had a sister."

"I did," Donnie said. "He mentioned her to me briefly the other day. But I didn't know about her before that."

"Why wouldn't he tell us?" Mikey asked.

"Sensei just doesn't like to talk much about his life in Japan," Leo said. "We need to respect that."

They were all silent for a moment.

"Well," Leo said, "I guess let's do some sparring—two on three. I'm thinking I'll take Raph, and then we'll go against Mikey, Donnie, and April."

They lined up against each other. April felt kind of excited. Usually, Splinter excluded her from the sparring sessions. April crouched between Donnie and Mikey, coiled like a spring. Fighting would be a good way to work off her anger against the Shredder.

"All right," Leo said. "Remember that part of sparring in groups is to keep your partner out of danger. The stronger fighter always needs to be aware of his weaker partner's position."

"Oh, don't worry, Leo," Raph said. "I'll protect you."

Leo glared at Raph before continuing. "Donnie, Mikey, be sure to properly defend April. Oh, and don't worry, April. Raph and I will go easy on you."

April grinned. "Don't go easy on me just because I'm a girl."

"Don't flatter yourself, sister," Raph said. "We're going easy on you because we're better than you, not 'cause you're a girl."

April was taken slightly aback.

"Oh, no he didn't!" Mikey shouted.

"Welcome to the smack-talk club, April," Donnie said, giving her an encouraging smile.

April wanted to plant a kiss on his cheek right then and there. He always had a way of making her feel better. But she had to push that thought out of her head immediately, because the next thing she knew their match had begun.


	22. Chapter 22

_Come on, Jones. Come on._

The afternoon had gone by too quickly. Casey lay on his bed, face down, trying to talk himself out of what he was about to do.

_Don't do it. You're stronger than this. _

He tried every technique they had taught him in rehab for fighting the urge to drink. He went through them all one by one in his mind.

_Be strong. Be strong. You can't let April down._

_But you already let April down. Why did you lie to her? Deep down, you really want to do this. You know you're not really stronger than this. You act tough, Jones, but you're really just a pathetic weakling. A coward. Just like your dad. _

Casey punched his pillow with tightly balled fists. "I won't!" he yelled. He put his hands over his ears as if that could shut out alcohol's siren call.

There was a knock on the door. Jen didn't wait for him to answer. "Casey, are you all right in here?"

"Yeah," said Casey, folding his hands in his lap and trying to conceal the fact that he was shaking.

"You look even worse than you did last night, sweetie," Jen said. "The dirt you got in your eyes must have really scratched you up. I still can't believe you tripped."

_See, Jones? A lying coward. Just like your dad. _

"I know. Guess I'm only graceful on the ice."

"If you can call playing hockey graceful. Are you sure you're okay? You've been acting funny today."

_Jen, help me. _

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just pissed off at this stupid homework assignment. I should have asked April about it at lunch, but I forgot."

"Maybe you could call her."

_Jen! Jen, help me!_

_You know you're beyond help, Jones. You don't want help. _

"Good idea."

"Hey, why don't you take some ibuprofen again, okay, Case?"

"Yeah, I think I will."

Jen left the room.

_Jen…_

The next several minutes were the longest of his life. It was almost time to meet Karai. He kept glancing nervously at the clock, arguing hopelessly with himself.

Jen knocked lightly again, and came in with a glass of water and two tablets of ibuprofen. "Here you go, honey."

Casey took them, trying once again not to betray that his hands were shaking. "So I just got a text from April."

_Lying coward!_

"She said that she'd meet me at the park to go over the problem."

"That's great," Jen said. "She sounds like a really good friend."

"She is," Casey said, getting up and loading his book bag. "Well, I guess I'd better go."

"Be careful," Jen said.

"Thanks."

When he left the house, the door shut behind him like the lid of a coffin.

* * *

The sun had just dipped below the New York skyline as Casey approached the old radio station. He hoped that this was the one which Karai had meant, since it was the closest one. He stood about half of a block away, staring at the boarded up windows.

He had one last chance to change his mind. One last chance to make things right with Jen and Sean. One last chance to keep April safe, to prove he was worthy of her. One last chance not to throw everything away.

One last chance to keep his soul.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, just staring.

_No,_ said a tiny voice inside of him.

And that was enough.

To his own amazement, he found himself turning around. He put one foot in front of the other, walking away from the radio station. He was nearly a full block away now…

Suddenly, robotic ninjas jumped out from behind every building. He was surrounded, and he hadn't brought anything to defend himself with. He cursed himself bitterly as he looked around for something—anything—he could use as a weapon.

"Going somewhere, Jones?" Karai was approaching him, holding a large glass bottle. "I thought that we had a deal."

"Yeah, well, I want out," Casey said, trying not to look at the bottle in Karai's hand. The red sunlight filtered through the clear liquid, giving it a shimmering look, as though the alcohol itself were trying to seduce him.

"You can't just show up and then reneg," Karai said.

"We'll see about that," Casey said, striking a defensive position.

Karai laughed. "You're going to fight me again? When I have all of these Footbots and you have nothing? I made sure that you wouldn't find any makeshift weapons here tonight."

"Then I guess you'll have to kill me," Casey said.

"That can be arranged," a deep voice said.

Casey looked past where Karai was standing. A tall, shadowy figure had just emerged from one of the buildings. He was completely covered in armor.

"Looks like you don't have any weapons either," Casey taunted the newcomer.

At that, two blades sprung out of the armor on both of the man's arms.

"Oh, crud," muttered Casey.

"Well done, Karai," the man said, retracting the blades back inside his armor. He patted Karai on the shoulder. "You did indeed find our weak link, as you promised."

Karai smiled with satisfaction. "Thank you, Father."

"You'll find I'm not so weak!" Casey challenged.

The man laughed. "Is that so? Why did you come alone and unarmed, if that is the case? Do you honestly expect me to believe that you did not come here to accept my generous offer?"

"Okay, so maybe I am weak," Casey said, with a surge of defiance. "I was weak when I came. But I'm not weak anymore. I found my strength. And I found it without help from anybody. You can't take that away from me. So go ahead and kill me, Foot-dude."

"Do not tempt me," the man replied.

"Oh. I'm tempting you."

"Enough."

"Footbots!" Karai shouted. "Take him down, but don't kill him!"

After that, Casey wasn't sure how long it was before they finally overpowered him. He managed to take out a couple of the robots with his bare hands, but there were too many of them. Once they had defeated him, they tied him up and took him inside the old radio station, where they chained him to a chair.

Casey lapsed in and out of consciousness for a while, but suddenly, he came to full awareness when a tantalizing smell reached his senses. He opened his eyes to see Karai in front of him, holding an open bottle of liquor just under his nose.

"No," he groaned.

"You don't want this?" Karai said, sloshing the liquid around.

"No," Casey said again, trying to ignore the alluring fragrance.

Karai dipped a finger into the bottle. "I think you do," she said. She took her wet finger and smeared a drop of the liquor into a cut on Casey's lip.

Casey gasped at the burning pain of it. Instinctively, he drew his lip into his mouth…

…and the taste of alcohol mixed with blood washed over his tongue.

"Now do you want it?" Karai whispered.

Tears started streaming out of Casey's eyes. "Yes," he breathed.

"I thought you didn't want it," Karai taunted. "Do you?"

That was it. He had been defeated. He was weak, after all. After all of that. He was no better than his lying, cowardly, no-good father.

"Yes."

Karai held the bottle to his lips and poured a tiny amount of alcohol into his mouth.

Greedily, he swallowed it. The alcohol's numbing fingers started to massage away his pain and stress.

"Do you want more?" Karai asked.

"Yes."

"Then tell me. Where is April tonight? Is she with those turtles?"

"I don't know," Casey said. "She didn't say what she was doing tonight. But one of the turtles is going to be at my house at seven."

"That's not good enough," Karai said. "Maybe you don't want this."

She started to pour some of it out.

"No! Don't! Look, my phone's in my bag. I'll call her and ask her what she's doing tonight, okay?"

Karai walked over to the bag and pulled out his phone. She flipped through the contacts and selected April's number. "Don't you dare give her any hints, now," she said. "Or you won't have to worry about how upset your foster parents are going to be with you." She set the phone to speaker and then called.

Casey listened to the phone ringing as though it were a death knell. He tried to tell himself that April would be fine. She could handle herself, and the turtles always did a good job of protecting her.

_"Hey, Casey! What's up?"_

Her cheerful voice almost hurt him. "Oh, not much," he said, hating himself. "Just wondering what you're doing tonight while me and Raph and playing that new game."

_"Aww, you're worried about me. You're so sweet! I'm hanging out with Satou again. We are going to Murikami's tonight."_

"What time?"

_"Wow, who are you, my dad?"_

"No, I was just wondering."

There was a pause. _"Casey, are you okay?"_

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just have a bit of a dry throat, Red. No biggie."

Another pause. _"You're sure?"_

"Yes. Wow, you've only been my girlfriend for a couple of days and you're already worrying about me."

_"Says the guy who wants to know my every move."_

Karai rolled her eyes, and gestured as if to say, _get on with it._

"I was just wondering if you would bring me and Raph some pizza gyoza whenever you guys are done eating."

_"Oh, okay. We're meeting there at about six-thirty, so we should be done by around seven-thirty or eight."_

"Perfect! Well, talk to you later?"

_"Bye, Casey."_

"Hey, April?"

_"Yeah?"_

A tear streamed down his face. "I love you."

He meant, _I'm sorry._

Before April could reply, Karai ended the call. "Who is Satou?" she asked.

"April's next door neighbor. She's a computer programmer and she likes martial arts, too."

"Well done indeed, Karai," the man said, walking into the room. "You will capture April O'Neil and bring her to me. Once we have her, we will send Splinter a message he will never forget."

"What about him?" Karai said. "Should we kill him?"

The man unsheathed his blades and struck at Casey. Casey closed his eyes, expecting excruciating pain, but the man had only undone the ropes Casey was tied with.

"No," said the man, as he retracted his blades. "Let him have what he came here for. Let him live with what he has done. Let him live with his shame."

With that, Karai handed Casey the bottle she had been holding, and one of the Footbots came in and set down a whole case of the bottles on the floor.

As they were leaving, the man started speaking again. "You see, Karai, if want someone dead—kill their spirit first, and they will be irreparably damaged beyond life's boundaries. This is what we will do to April O'Neil. You and I will have our revenge on Hamato Yoshi a hundredfold before we end his miserable life."

Casey did nothing to stop them. Instead, after a moment of silence and a few more tears, he lifted the bottle to his lips and proceeded to lose himself inside of it.


	23. Chapter 23

"I'm not even kidding, Satou-san! He said 'I love you' and then hung up!"

Atsuko and April were sitting in a corner table at Murikami's, eating their dinner. April had been passionately going over her phone call with Casey all evening, analyzing it from every perspective possible. Atsuko fleetingly thought how glad she was that she wasn't a teenager anymore. "Maybe he was just afraid of what you'd say in reply," she said.

"I don't even know what I would say," April said, her eyes wide. "I like him, and I'm glad we're dating, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to say I love him. And Casey doesn't seem like the serious-commitment-right-away kind of guy."

"So, why does his saying he loves you bother you so much, April?"

"Well, it's just…I keep having second thoughts."

"That's why dating and marriage are not the same thing."

April looked thoughtful for a moment. "Marriage sounds complicated."

"It is," Atsuko said. "But it is rewarding."

"In what way?"

Atsuko hesitated before answering. She didn't want to let her guard down too much; nevertheless, she still had no tangible evidence to see April as a threat. "You learn about a different kind of love in marriage," she said. "It's not exciting, not the way that falling in love is, but it is infinitely more powerful. It's a love that goes beyond feelings altogether."

April's face was confused, so Atsuko attempted to explain further. "Marriage is founded completely on trust, April. There is no greater thing I have ever experienced than waking up every day next to someone I can trust whole-heartedly. Yes, there is 'romantic' love. There are those feelings of passion. But love—real love—is an action. It is a choice, not a feeling. A person you can trust beyond doubt, a person who always acts in your best interest—that is a person who loves you.

"And being married to that person, and loving them in kind—that is the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced."

"Wow," April said, poking at the last potsticker on her plate. She seemed somewhat downcast.

"Trust me, April, I didn't feel that way when I first met my future husband, either."

April's face visibly brightened. After a few moments, she glanced at her watch. "I promised Casey I'd bring him and his buddy some pizza gyoza," she said.

While they waited for Murikami to fill the order, they continued chatting. "All my friends were impressed with the katas you showed me," April said.

Atsuko suddenly became cautious again. "What did your sensei have to say?" she asked, keeping her tone even.

"He was impressed, too. But it's funny. He said he knew the woman who owned the tessen that you bought at the auction. Her name was Kobayashi, apparently."

Atsuko's heart nearly stopped. She looked at April, and saw that April's face was intent, gauging what Atsuko's reaction would be. "I never heard of them," Atsuko said, as casually as possible.

"It's kind of crazy, actually," April said, obviously trying to sound casual as well. "The woman's story is really similar to yours."

"Is that so?" Atsuko said, feeling for the handles of her sai.

"Yeah. It's just kind of a funny coincidence. Well, more sad than funny, but you get what I mean."

The two of them stared at each other for a moment. Atsuko could see the evaluating look April was giving her. The tension was reaching a nearly unbearable pitch.

When Murikami called out the order, both of them jumped.

April giggled. "Wow. I guess I was really spaced out," she said. "Domo, Murikami-san."

As they walked out the door, Atsuko kept an eye on April. "Where does Casey live?"

"Not too far from here, actually."

"You're going by yourself?"

"Yeah," April said. "I go places alone all the time."

Atsuko was torn between her sudden desire to avoid April and her protective instincts. After looking closely at her young companion, she knew that she couldn't leave April alone. "I'll come with you," she said.

"Thanks, Satou-san," April said, with a big smile.

They hadn't even gone a block when April's text tone went off. April paused to check her phone. When she read the message, she frowned.

"What is it, April?"

"It's from my friend Raphael," April said, furrowing her brow. "He said that Casey's not home. He was wondering if Casey was with me."

Suddenly, Atsuko's instincts were clamoring loudly, even though she saw no visible threats. Her palms itched to grab for her sai.

April gasped softly. She looked around as she tucked her phone away, as if she suspected something was wrong. "I think we should get out of here," she whispered. "I think we're being followed."

"Good idea," Atsuko replied. She placed her hands above the handles of her sai, ready to draw them. They advanced a few steps down the street.

Suddenly, smoke bombs exploded and dozens of ninjas emerged from behind the smoke screen. April let out a tiny scream.

Instantly, Atsuko drew her sai. "Stay back," she warned the ninjas.

"I don't know who you are," said a female voice, "but you probably want to stay out of this." A young woman emerged from behind some of the ninjas. "I just want the girl."

"Karai!" shouted April, whipping out her tessens and holding them in a defensive position. "You just can't leave me alone, can you?"

"I don't know who you are either, 'Karai,'" Atsuko challenged. "But you can't have her."

"We'll see about that," Karai said. "Footbots! Attack!"

_Footbots?_

All of the ninjas advanced. They wielded traditional weapons in their arms, but many of them sported strange additional appendages with saws or shuriken launchers.

As they drew closer, Atsuko realized that there was an emblem on their masks.

A _foot._

Her heart started racing so fast that it felt like a flutter in her chest. He had found her. But they weren't after her, they were after April…

She turned to look at April, to make sure she was in a defensible position. April was holding Atsuko's old tessen, and in her other hand…

The tessen that Atsuko had given to Tang Shen, bearing the Hamato clan emblem.

The whole world seemed to stop.

_"In your darkest hour, remember that Hamato Yoshi did this to you."_

Atsuko started sweating in a panic. Her worst fears had been realized. It had all been an elaborate trap. _All of it._ April had never been her friend. The whole thing was just to trap her, to bring her back to Oroku Saki's clutches…

Atsuko couldn't control herself. She turned and screamed at April. "You lied to me! I thought you were my _friend_!"

"What?" April cried, utterly bewildered.

Before anything else could be said, the Footbots swarmed in on them. Atsuko's sai flashed like strikes of lightning, fueled by rage. She couldn't believe this was happening. She couldn't believe she had let herself be tricked by that stupid teenager that Oroku Saki had dangled in front of her as bait. One after another of the robotic ninjas fell prey to Atsuko's attacks.

She had been defenseless once.

Never again.

Kobayashi Tang Mei was vulnerable. Satou Atsuko was not.

During the fray, she caught a glimpse of April out of the corner of her eye. April was trying to call someone on her phone, probably reinforcements for the thinning ranks of Footbots.

Atsuko couldn't bear it anymore. "You betrayed me!" she screeched. She charged headlong into April, knocking the phone out of her hands.

"Satou-san!" cried April. "What are you doing? What are you talking about?"

Atsuko took the handle of her sai and struck the back of April's neck. April, her face confused and hurt, collapsed unconscious to the ground.

"Hold!" shouted Karai. All of the Footbots stood down, and backed away. Karai removed the metal faceguard she was wearing, and flashed a twisted smile. "Bring the O'Neil girl," she ordered the robots, which promptly came and started dragging April off.

Atsuko's heart stopped again. It was almost as if she was staring into the face of her teen-aged sister.

"Thanks for the help, stranger," Karai said wryly.

Then, in a flash of smoke, all of the assailants disappeared.

Atsuko sat in the middle of the street, her heart pounding. The Foot _had _been after April.

No. No. This was still a trap. They wanted her to come after April, to somewhere they could capture her more easily…

…or Atsuko had just sent and innocent girl to a horrible death. Death, if April was lucky.

Her head swimming, she picked up April's phone. April had not yet hit 'call,' but the phone was unlocked and a contact was up on the screen. _Donnie-boy_, it said. The contact picture was what appeared to be a giant turtle wearing ninja gear; April had superimposed hearts and flowers on the image.

_She was telling the truth. _

_No. It can't be._

Suddenly, the phone started ringing in her hands. The contact I.D. indicated that Donnie was calling. Quickly, Atsuko pulled out her own phone, and with some skilled hacking, started to trace the call. Then, she answered April's phone.

"Hello?" she said quietly.

"April!" a young male voice said. "April, are you okay? Raph just got back from Casey's. He said he got attacked by the Foot and he has no idea where Casey is!"

Atsuko didn't say anything, stalling while her phone completed the trace.

"April? April? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Atsuko muttered.

There was a pause. "Who is this?" Donnie's voice had become slightly threatening. "Where is April?"

Suddenly, Atsuko's phone was flashing, _Trace Complete._

"I don't know," Atsuko said. "But I know where you are." With that, she hung up.

She was going to get to the bottom of this. Taking April's phone with her, she ran to find the location she had triangulated.

As she ran, she kept praying that this was a trap, and that April was in fact an enemy.

Because if she was wrong…

The guilt would be more than she could bear.


	24. Chapter 24

Donatello stood surrounded by his brothers. At the sound of a voice that didn't belong to April, it seemed like his very heart had stopped pumping in his chest.

"Donnie? What's wrong?" Leo said.

"It's April, guys. Some woman answered her phone. She said she knows where we are."

"Satou!" cried Leo. "I knew that trusting her was a bad idea. She has to be in with the Foot Clan. This is all too well coordinated for it to be any other way."

"And she must have nabbed Jones," Raphael growled.

"Donnie—how likely is it that she actually knows where we are?"

"Well, if she works for Advancements, then the probability that she could back-trace my call and triangulate our position even with my global positioning scrambler…"

"Yes or no, Donnie?" Leo yelled.

"She probably does," Donnie said.

"So what do we do now?" Mikey asked. "I mean…do we go save April or do we stay here?"

"What is going on out here?" Splinter said, walking out into the den. He drew a sharp breath. "Raphael! What happened to you?"

"Foot Clan got the jump on me, Sensei," Raphael grumbled. "I was going to hang out with Jones…and he wasn't there."

"And Donnie just called April, and we think it was Satou who answered. She says she knows where we are!" Leo said.

Splinter drew a deep breath. "Everyone remain calm," he said.

Donnie followed suit and inhaled deeply and slowly. He still couldn't understand how Splinter could stay calm simply by breathing. Of, course, it did make some sense, since hyper-oxygenation of the bloodstream allowed for more oxygen to the brain and caused major muscle groups to relax…but that was hardly enough to combat the sheer panic that threatened to overwhelm him.

"Where is April?" Splinter asked.

"That's what we don't know," Donnie said. "But the way that Satou—if that's who that was—said that she knew where we are, it sounds like she's going to come here! But we can't just wait—we've gotta find April!"

"My son, calm down. There are many variables at play here. We cannot simply abandon the lair; there are too many valuable things, particularly concerning your research. However, we cannot just wait for an enemy strike."

"Sensei, I think I have a plan," Leo said. "What if we split? Donnie and I go look for April, and then you, Raph, and Mikey stay to defend the lair?"

"That is one possibility. But do you know where to begin looking for April?"

"I could try a reverse-trace on the phone call. But that would only tell me where April's phone is, not April," Donnie said, still trying to quell his panic. Every second was crucial. Last time April had a run in with the Foot, Karai had wanted to kill her.

"Do it," Leo said. "I'll help them get the lair set up for defense. I knew there was a reason I didn't trust that Satou woman…"

"We still cannot jump to conclusions, Leonardo," Splinter said, as Donnie flipped open his laptop and started running a program.

"With all due respect, Sensei, she gave April your sister-in-law's tessen! Don't you think that was a warning?" Leo shouted.

"Silence!" bellowed Splinter. "You are allowing panic to overwhelm you, Leonardo. You must see this through unbiased eyes. There is only the mission. Anything else—regrets, should-haves—do not matter now."

Donnie was startled when he got a faster result in his tracing program than he expected. "Uh, guys? April's phone is almost right above us!"

"So she's on the surface," Leo said. "She doesn't know we're in the sewer."

"Scratch that—the position just paused right over manhole cover 67b. She's in the sewer system now."

"Let's take her down!" Raph bellowed.

"No," Splinter said. "Set up a choke point before the invader reaches the lair."

Leo nodded. "We'll capture Satou—or whoever it is—and make them tell us where April is. Let's go!"

Donnie attempted to draw one last deep, steadying breath before grabbing his bo-staff and gearing up along with the rest of his brothers.

* * *

Atsuko cringed as she climbed down the service ladder into the damp sewers beneath the street. The only way that her destination could be here was if it were underground. She'd had to backtrack some to find a way down into the sewers—and now she had the disadvantage of an entire network of tunnels to confuse her.

Slowly but surely, she made her way through the dark maze. Rats occasionally ran across her feet, but she did not flinch. She kept a sai in one hand and held her phone in the other, using it for light and direction.

As she went, she tried not to think about the implications of what she had just done. She tried to convince herself that she was doing the right thing; that if this took her to Oroku Saki's hideout, she could kill him and free April, who was likely just a pawn. But she had known Oroku Saki since his childhood—he preferred grandiose things, and a sewer seemed an unlikely place for him to set up base. Nevertheless, she pressed on.

She came to a split in the tunnel, and was unsure which way to go—but then she heard a soft noise like footsteps coming from one of the directions.

That had to be the way, but it could be a trap. She would have to advance carefully. She put her phone away and waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Then, drawing out her other sai, she advanced down the tunnel.

She heard the sound of a flying chain before it hit her. She caught the chain and pulled her assailant toward her, planning to gouge him with her sai when he was close enough. In the dim light, she could barely see the ninja who had slung his kusurigama at her. However, the blunt handle of a nunchuk slammed into her head before she could duck.

"Booyakasha!" shouted a young voice. "Thought you had me!"

A brilliant flashlight shone into her face, nearly blinding her. Closing her eyes and trusting her instincts, she rolled out of the way just as the _swish_ of a katana went past her. With a wild stab, she slashed out with her sai and tripped whoever had just run past her.

"Leo!" cried out another voice.

Opening her eyes, she saw that the flashlight had fallen to the floor of the sewer, illuminating everything with long shadows. When her vision had adjusted, she nearly yelped at what she saw. Even though she had seen the picture on April's phone, it had not adequately prepared her for seeing four human-sized turtles in ninja gear.

"Nobody hurts my brothers!" one of them bellowed.

With a flip, she jumped back up to her feet just in time to meet a charge from a turtle brandishing sai. She blocked his strikes, but then she realized that he was driving her into a tight position where the other three turtles would be able to overwhelm her. A tuck and a roll allowed her to escape being hedged in.

She turned to face her assailants. They stood, poised to attack again. "I should have known that this was just a trap," she yelled. "Just a way for you to bring me directly to your master. Well, tell him I'm coming for him and ending this freak show!"

"We're the freak show!?" shouted the red-masked turtle. "You just used a personal friend of ours to satisfy a grudge for _your_ master!"

A twist of doubt stabbed at Atsuko's heart. "I don't have a master," she hissed. "I answer only to myself."

"What have you done with April!?" screamed one of the turtles, holding a bo-staff.

Atsuko recognized him from April's phone. Donnie. He stood there, his expression wild with anger and desperation.

"You might wanna answer that," the red-masked turtle growled.

"I haven't done anything with her," Atsuko said, still desperately trying to convince herself that she was right about April. "You're trying to trick me. This is just part of your trap. I know how your master likes to play with his food before he eats it."

"Anyone get the idea that we're going around in circles?" said the turtle holding nunchuks.

Suddenly, Donnie switched his hold on his staff and a blade popped out of one end. He held it up, poised to throw it. "I don't care what you think about Splinter, or what Shredder has told you. I just want to know where April is!" His voice was desperate and panicky.

Atsuko's head started reeling. "Splinter?" she said. "You mean…Hamato Yoshi?"

"Well yeah," the turtle with nunchuks said. "Who else would we mean?"

"Hamato Yoshi is dead," Atsuko said.

"Wrong," said the turtle holding swords.

"Prove it," Atsuko said.

"Guys! We don't have time for this! We have to find April!" shouted Donnie.

Atsuko looked again at the tall, purple-masked turtle. His chest was heaving. He looked like he was ready to kill her on the spot if he thought it would do any good at all. He was desperate. "You," Atsuko whispered. "You're Donnie. The one who works with computers. April told me about you."

"Okay, let's start over," shouted the turtle with swords. "Obviously, there's a lot of confusion. Who are you?"

"Satou Atsuko," Atsuko replied.

"Do you work for the Shredder, Satou?"

"No. Do you?"

"Why would we work for the Shredder?" asked the nunchuk bearing turtle. "He's like our arch-nemesis."

"Then…you don't know where April is?" Atsuko whispered.

"No! Why do you think we keep asking?" bellowed the turtle with sai.

Atsuko couldn't calm her rising panic. _April!_ She had delivered the young girl directly into Oroku Saki's hands, all because she was too selfishly terrified by her own personal demons.

All of her old waking nightmares played out in front of her eyes…but now, she saw April instead of herself…

_It's all my fault._

She started to hyperventilate. "No," she moaned. "No, no, no…"

Unaware of anything else around her, Satou Atsuko fell to the ground and lapsed into unconsciousness and nightmares.

* * *

Donnie stared in horror at the woman who had collapsed onto the floor of the sewers. How would they find April now? Would they just start looking in all of the typical Foot Clan hiding places? That would take hours!

"Donnie? Donnie!" Leo was shouting at him.

"What?" Donnie snarled back.

"Help me see if she's okay!"

The two of them went to Satou's side. Leo kicked away her sai and Donnie started to take her pulse. But he couldn't even count, he was so distracted. "She's alive," he muttered.

"What do we do now?" Mikey asked.

"We can't just leave her here. I mean, from what she said, she thought we were working for Shredder and she thought we had April," Leo said. "I think we should take her back to the lair and make sure she's all right."

"But what about April?" Donnie cried. He tried not to think about what would happen if they were too late.

"We need a plan," Leo said. "Maybe Satou can give us better information when she wakes up."

"That'll take forever!"

"Do you have a better idea?"

"No." Donnie's head was throbbing. He didn't have a better idea. He lived on—thrived on—ideas, and when he couldn't find a solution, it was enough to make him go insane.

_Deep breaths,_ he told himself, trying to regain a slight amount of control.

"Then let's go!" shouted Raph. As he grabbed Satou's sai, Leo chained her hands so that if she woke she wouldn't be able to attack them. Then the two of them picked her up together and headed back to the lair.

It wasn't too far of a journey. Satou had come dangerously close to catching them all off guard.

When they came through the old turnstiles, Splinter was waiting for them. "What happened?" he said. "Who is that?"

"It's Satou," Leo said. "She passed out." He hastily explained what had happened while they hurried over to the lab. "It was really weird. As soon as she figured out we didn't have April, she freaked out and then collapsed."

"She did not know I was alive, then?" Splinter asked.

"No."

Donnie hurriedly shoved things off of his medical table. "Lay her down," he said. "I'll see if I can find something to wake her up."

When they had laid her on the table, Donnie put her into a classic first-aid position, tilting her head slightly back. When he pushed the mop of shiny black hair out of her face, Splinter cursed loudly in Japanese.

However, he seemed to gain control of himself again in a moment. "It can't be," he said.

"What is it, Sensei?" Leo asked.

"That woman," Splinter said, his voice very quiet. "Whatever she has told you her name is—that woman is Kobayashi Tang Mei."

"That's how she had the tessen," Leo said. "But I thought you said she was dead?"

"I thought she was," Splinter said, gently laying his hand on her shoulder. "And apparently, she thought I was dead as well."

"I wonder who else isn't really dead," Mikey said.

"Can it, Mikey," Raph snapped, slapping him.

"Hey!"

Donnie pushed past his squabbling brothers to retrieve his medical kit. "A low dose of epinephrine ought to be enough to wake her up—but she'll be really edgy when she does. Make sure she's restrained properly."

"Dude, I have no idea what you just said," Mikey said.

"Hold her down!" snapped Donnie.

Leo and Splinter pinned down the woman's shoulders, while Mikey and Raph each held down a leg. Donnie found a good vein in her arm, inserted the needle, and depressed the plunger on the syringe.

Within moments, the woman was awake and screaming, struggling against the individuals holding her down.

Splinter spoke to her in Japanese; while Donnie was a little rusty, he could understand what was being said: _"Be calm, my sister."_

The woman looked up at Splinter and flinched, but she made no sound. After she had stared at him for a moment, she shook her head in disbelief. "Yoshi?" she whispered.

Splinter's voice was just as quiet. "Hai."

Satou—or Tang Mei, or whoever she was, started breathing rapidly. "I've done something terrible," she said, in English. "There's no time to explain. We have to find April."

"Let her up," Donnie said. "I'm going to check your pulse…uh, ma'am."

She sat up, all the while staring at Splinter. _"You make me sick,"_ she hissed, in Japanese. _"Do you think you're any less responsible for my sister's death than he is? For my family's death?" _

Splinter closed his eyes and hung his head. When he looked up, Donnie was startled to see tears in Splinter's eyes. _"I share in the blame."_

_"That's not enough. Do you have any idea what he did to me?"_

_"When April is safe, you may exact recompense from me as you wish."_

Satou nodded curtly. She turned to Donnie. "If April still has the tessen I gave her, we can find her," she said, switching back to English. "I fit all of the weapons in my collection with a micro tracking device. I need a computer, now."

"You can use my desktop," Donnie said, feeling a thrill of hope that they might find April in time. "Be careful when you stand up, you might feel a little dizzy." He helped Satou over to his desk and unlocked his computer for her.

Within seconds, she had accessed a remote location program. She typed in sequences of code so easily that it nearly baffled Donnie. Finally, a map popped up on the screen.

"It's not the same place we were attacked," Satou said. "I suspect that if we follow this it will take us to where she is."

Donnie loaded the data onto his phone. "Got it," he said.

"I think you owe us an explanation on the way," Leo said.

Satou nodded. She got up from the chair, but she stumbled immediately and fell. She tried to get up again, but fell again before she even could get up.

Donnie ran to her side and checked her pulse again; it was racing. "Her adrenaline system is over-stimulated," he said. "You'll have to stay here, or you'll overtax your heart."

They helped her up onto the exam table again. She looked at Donnie closely. "Tell her I'm sorry," she said. "Tell her I'll never forgive myself."

"What did you do?" Raph growled.

"There's no time now. Promise me, Donnie," Satou said.

"I will," Donnie said, his heart beating wildly.

"Go, my sons," Splinter said. "Time is of the essence."

Donnie didn't need to be told twice. He ran ahead of his brothers, despite Leo's protests that they stay closer together.

_I'm coming, April._


	25. Chapter 25 (content warning)

Author's note: Please be warned that this chapter is definitely one of the reasons this story is rated T. It might be borderline M. I avoid being explicit, but this chapter gets rather grisly. If you are easily upset you may not wish to read the second part where April's POV begins.

* * *

As Atsuko watched the four turtles leave the room, she felt a pang of guilt for not going with them. Her own selfish paranoia had done more harm than she could even imagine. She had called April a traitor—when she was the one who had betrayed the very girl she had promised to protect.

There was a moment of silence, during which Atsuko glanced around the room. It was filled with the most bizarre collection of home-made scrapped together electronics she had ever seen in her life. Finally, she turned to look at the tall rat who, inexplicably, seemed to be her brother-in-law. He stood there, not looking at her, apparently lost in thought.

"What happened to you?" she said, breaking the silence.

"I was exposed to a strange mutagenic substance," he said. "It changed my form. I did not understand it for years, but I now know that it is only part of a much larger tale."

Atsuko didn't bother trying to make sense of it. Too many impossible things had happened for her to question anything now. "He told me that he'd killed you."

"He thought that he had. Our home burnt down to the ground—I tried to save Tang Shen, but one of the rafters…"

His voice faded into silence.

"And my niece?"

"I could not find her. But he took her. He has raised her as his own daughter, teaching her that I killed Tang Shen. Teaching her to hate me."

"You did kill her," Atsuko spat. She had longed to accuse him to his face for sixteen long years. "Your petty rivalry killed her. Killed my family."

"Do you think I do not know?" snarled Splinter. "Do you think I do not regret my mistakes every single day of my life? If I had known how insane he truly was—if I could change it all—if I could take back the words and strikes that drove him further into hatred and jealousy—I would!"

"Do you think your guilt is enough? Do you know what he said to me? 'In your darkest hour, remember that Hamato Yoshi did this to you.' Every night I heard that, Yoshi. Every night for a year, while he sullied my honor to revenge himself upon the mere memory of you!"

"He…he…?" Splinter stammered, his eyes wide with horror.

"He raped me," Atsuko screamed, as if each word were a blade that she could drive into his heart. "He had planned to make you watch. To punish you for violating a stupid childhood contract you made."

"Tang Mei…I am so sorry. I am so very, very, sorry."

"Tang Mei is dead! There is nothing left of her, of me!"

Splinter fell to his knees. He knelt on the floor, hunched over, weeping silently. "The blame is mine," he whispered. "I cannot escape it. When Oroku Saki insulted me and I responded with violence—in the name of honor!—I sealed our fates forever." He sat on his feet and looked up at her. "The blame is mine, sister. Only know that I did truly love Tang Shen, with all of my heart. Nothing brings me more grief than knowing that I share in the responsibility for her death."

Atsuko stared at the figure on the floor. She realized that Hamato Yoshi too was dead. The man she had known—kind, albeit prideful—had been replaced by this shell of tortured guilt and grief. Staring into his eyes—the only part of him that looked like his former self—she started to weep. Memories of him flooded back to her. Watching him dance joyfully with her sister. Teaching ninjutsu to her oldest son. Proudly holding his newly born daughter. His self-blame made her wonder how misplaced her own hatred against him was.

"Were you to take my life in payment for hers, you would be justified in doing so," he said. His voice was a bitter indictment of himself. "Neither would I fight you."

Her mind started reeling. He had offered her what she had longed for in the past—the chance to make him pay for the death of her loved ones. The opportunity to make him suffer for what had happened to her. How many times had she thought of driving her sai straight into the hearts of the men who had destroyed her life?

_"In your darkest hour, remember that Hamato Yoshi did this to you."_

It was Oroku Saki who spoke those words. It was Oroku Saki who had killed her husband and sons.

Was she going to continue believing in the words of the man who had turned her life into a living hell? All she had done by blaming Hamato Yoshi was fulfilling Oroku Saki's designs.

It was time to escape her captor once and for all.

She got down from the exam table and took the few steps over to where her brother-in-law sat waiting for his judgment. "No. Forgive me," she whispered. "I allowed Oroku Saki's words to poison me against your memory. I couldn't escape him, so I hated you instead. Even when I did manage to escape, I carried that with me."

He stared up into her face, his eyes shimmering with tears.

"I was wrong," she said, extending her arms to him. "Get up, brother." She helped him up from the floor, and for a moment they just stood there, staring at each other.

Then, they held each other in their arms, sobbing uncontrollably, releasing sixteen years of shared grief without any more words.

* * *

Author's Note: This is where it gets really unpleasant. Please read with caution. If you are concerned that this might be too grisly please scroll down to the end where I will provide a brief, completely non-explicit summary of what happened.

* * *

April woke up to a pain so intense that it threatened to make her vomit. Her head throbbed where Satou had struck her.

Her awareness of her surroundings came to her slowly. First, she was aware of pain. Next, she was aware of being restrained somehow.

_Why?_

Why had Satou-san turned on her? Satou had accused her of being a traitor. _I thought you were my friend, _she had said.

_Satou-san_, April thought. _I thought you were my friend, too._

April started looking around the dimly lit room. The only source of light was from a skylight above, which admitted some of the ambient streetlamp light from outside. Every time she moved her eyes, she felt like she was being stabbed in the base of her skull. She vaguely remembered Donnie once saying something about how being knocked out wasn't as simple as they made it seem in the movies.

_"It takes a tremendous amount of skill to knock someone out without killing them",_ he had said. "_And of course, when someone wakes up from being knocked out, they can expect nausea, headache, loss of memory, temporarily impaired vision and motor skills, and so on. Most likely they will have suffered a concussion."_

April bitterly thought that if knocking someone out without killing them was that difficult, at least Satou hadn't been trying to kill her. But that was a small consolation.

_Why? Why, Satou-san?_

April tried to push the question from her mind. As much as her head was throbbing, she knew she needed to assess the situation. _Think ninja,_ she thought. _Take a deep breath._

She was in a relatively small room with a skylight, lying on her back on a cold, hard surface. She was on a low table of some kind, perhaps three feet off the floor. Her hands and feet were chained to the table in an awkward spread-eagle position. Painfully, she turned her head to see what was next to her. An array of evil-looking instruments hung on the wall opposite her; with a stab of fear, she realized that her arms and legs were spread in order to make her more vulnerable to torture.

Terrified, she struggled at the restraints for a moment—when she realized that doing so would just weaken her to no avail. _Ninja. Nin. Patience. Save your strength. Wait for the right moment._

She prayed that the right moment would come.

_Deep breaths. The key to remaining calm is breathing. _

Silently, she thanked Splinter for his emphasis on maintaining emotional control of any situation.

How long would she have to wait? Every moment of silence was torture.

Suddenly, the silence was interrupted by the sounds of jingling keys and footsteps. April listened intently, her body coiled to react at a moment's notice.

A deep voice spoke. April instantly recognized it as the Shredder's—she would never forget the way he taunted her before handing her over to the Kraang. _Control your anger,_ she thought. _Don't let it distract you._

"I do not want to be disturbed for several hours, do you understand?" Shredder said.

"Of course," replied an accented voice.

_Fishface,_ thought April.

"Furthermore, I don't want Karai anywhere near this building. She does not need to know anything that transpires here."

"I will ensure that she is elsewhere, Master Shredder." There was a pause. "What exactly…?"

"That is none of your concern, Xever," Shredder snapped. "Now go. I want guards posted outside every entrance to the building."

"Hai, Master."

April heard the sound of metal footsteps receding. After a moment, she heard Shredder sorting through keys—and then a _click_ as the door was unlocked. A light turned on—though it was dim, it seemed blindingly bright. April's head screamed in pain.

_Calm. Stay calm._ Her pulse was racing.

"April O'Neil," Shredder said. "I understand that my incompetent daughter recently failed in her endeavor to end your pathetic existence."

"That's a sweet thing for a father to say," April said defiantly.

Shredder laughed. "Her sentiment was acceptable. She wanted to punish Splinter by taking your life. But she is a foolish child. You see, it is better to return a broken loved one rather than simply taking them away."

April's stomach plummeted into a bucket of ice. She glanced nervously over at the knives hanging on the wall. In the light, they seemed even more lethal. Many of them had hooks in the blades. She couldn't even imagine what they were intended for.

"I see that you are afraid. You ought to be. You have been chosen for a very special task," Shredder said. He came over to the table and looked down at her. His eyes were narrowed, as if in disgust. He grabbed her face with his hand.

_Calm. Stay calm. Wait for the right moment._

"You see, you are going to be my personal messenger to Splinter. Even better than that, you are going to be the message itself." He let go of her and walked over to the wall covered with instruments of torture.

"What, are you going to take one of those fancy knives over there and write a letter with it?" April said, still trying to sound defiant. "I'm not afraid of you. Whatever you do to me, I'll heal."

Shredder selected an ordinary-looking blade and turned around, laughing. "You only wish it were something so easy," he said. He laid the knife on the table next to her. His eyes—the only part of his face that was visible behind his helmet—looked up and down her body. He reached down to her belt and removed the tessen that April had tucked inside of it. He glanced at the other side of her belt, found her other tessen, and took that as well. He flipped them open and examined them.

"Interesting," he said. "I expect that Splinter gave you this one. But I am curious as to how you came to possess this." He held Satou's tessen in front of April's face.

"eBay," April said.

Shredder raised an eyebrow. "Indeed," he said, clearly not believing her. "Perhaps you are aware of the story that accompanies this."

"I am. Splinter told me how you killed Tang Shen's sister."

"No. I did not kill her. Have I not made it clear that death is too simple, April O'Neil? Oh, I will kill your pathetic rodent master eventually. But I will make him die a hundred times over, until he begs me to slit his throat."

"And how exactly do you think cutting me up is going to accomplish that?"

"I do not," Shredder said. He took both of the tessens and tossed them aside. The landed on the floor with a clatter. "Here is the message you will take to Hamato Yoshi. You will tell him that I will make his loved ones suffer in every conceivable way until he comes to finish this. I will never stop until one of us is dead."

With that, Shredder took off his helmet. April nearly gasped when she saw how half of his face had been disfigured with burn scars.

"As I said, April O'Neil, you yourself will be that message—the proof that Oroku Saki keeps his word, unlike Hamato Yoshi the traitor."

When he picked up the knife again, April did everything she could to keep herself from showing fear, but she couldn't keep herself from shaking. What if the right moment—the faintest chance—to fight back never came? When she saw the tip of the knife approaching her body, she pressed her eyes shut in terror.

But the blade never touched her skin. Instead, Shredder cut through the fabric of her clothes, cutting open her shirt, her sleeves, her undergarments, everything.

April shook even more. She opened her eyes and watched in horror as Shredder calmly threw the scraps of her ruined clothing onto the floor. She was completely naked, completely exposed, completely powerless.

Now she couldn't control her panic. She struggled fiercely against the restraints. She might have been shouting. She didn't even know. All she knew was that she had to escape.

With cold amusement in his eyes, Shredder stood there watching her struggle for several minutes. Then, he put the knife blade up against her cheek. "Be still!" he barked.

April stopped struggling, but still trembled uncontrollably. She found herself staring up into Shredder's eyes—eyes alight with malice and pure hatred.

"Tell me, April O'Neil," he hissed. "Are you a virgin?"

April burst into tears.

"Answer me!" He dug the blade of the knife into her cheek, drawing blood.

"Yes!" April screamed, sobbing uncontrollably.

Shredder laughed and threw the knife aside.

"So much the better."

As Shredder started to remove his armor, April knew that the moment she had been waiting for would never come. There was nothing she could do to save herself.

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Summary:  
April wakes up chained to a table. She can't think of any way to escape. Shredder comes in and explains his plans to her. He plans to rape April and then release her so she can to tell Splinter what happened to her. Shredder intends for this to make Splinter suffer even more than simply killing April would. The scene ends with Shredder _about_ to rape April.


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: Just to clarify, in the last chapter, I separated the more grisly section from the brief summary using a bunch of 'a's because I couldn't get blank spaces to work. The 'a's were just there to provide a visual barrier so that someone wishing to avoid the unpleasant part wouldn't have to see any of it when he or she scrolled to the bottom of the page.

And now, the tale continues…

* * *

"Donnie! Donnie! Donatello!"

Donnie was completely unaware of his brothers shouting his name as he ran across the rooftops. He was hardly even aware of the obstacles in his path—he leapt past them without thinking. All he could think about was April. All he saw was the digital map on his phone that would lead him to her. It wasn't until Mikey flung his kusurigama chain around Donnie's ankles, tripping him, that he regained awareness of his present surroundings.

"MIKEY!" Donnie yelled. "What the heck was that?!"

"Leo made me do it!" Mikey replied.

In a moment, Leo was at Donnie's side, helping him up. "Donnie, if you don't slow down and think, you're going to get yourself killed."

"But April—"

"You're not going to be much help to her if you're dead, bro," Mikey said.

"We're just as determined to help her as you are," Raph added.

"But you need to slow down!" Leo reiterated.

Donnie knew they were right. Though all of his being protested, he took a deep breath and tried to slow down his thought processes. He looked at the map on his phone. "The location is in a district that's pretty notorious for abandoned warehouses and such."

"Okay," Leo said. "Good. Now, let's stay _together. _Donnie, you lead with the map. When we are close enough to see the building, you have to promise me you'll wait for my orders, okay?"

Donnie swallowed. "Okay, Leo."

"Let's go."

They ran in formation—swiftly, and now silently. All of them, even Raph, seemed to understand how crucial this mission was.

As Donnie ran, his breathing was to the rhythm of _I'm coming, April._

Finally, they were nearly on top of the location indicated on his t-phone. "I think this is the place," Donnie said, stopping short. He gestured to an abandoned, crumbling office building up ahead. He could hardly hear Leo over the pounding of his own heart.

"Good. Let's take a minute to stake it out before we charge in."

Donnie forced himself to be still while Leo took a pair of binoculars and surveyed the building. When Donnie glanced over at Raphael, he could see that his hot-headed brother was on the verge of ignoring Leo's instructions.

Their eyes met briefly; Raph nodded as if to say, _We're together on this, bro._

Leo handed Donnie the binoculars. "I count at least twenty—and there are probably some concealed. My guess is that they're Footbots. I haven't fought a human Foot soldier in months."

"Let's go through the roof," Raph suggested impatiently.

Donnie did a visual sweep of the roof. "There seem to be quite a few up there, too."

"Oh! What if three of us draw out some of their guards? Then one of us can infiltrate!" Mikey said, as he bounced up and down.

Donnie turned and stared at his brother. "One-man infiltration. Completely counter-intuitive…brilliant!"

"Of course it is, bro! Besides, I knew I was gonna end up being bait eventually anyway."

"Actually," Leo said, "We'll be the bait, Mikey. You were the one who did best in training."

"You can't be serious!" Donnie and Raph shouted at the same time.

"You were right, Donnie. Mikey succeeded because we were compromised. You're too emotionally wound up to go in. Raph lacks the patience."

"Then you go!" Donnie said. "We can't trust Mikey with April's fate!"

"Thanks a lot, dude," Mikey muttered.

Leo folded his arms. "I'm the leader. I make the calls—and my instincts are telling me this is the right one. We'll draw them out. Mikey, as soon as you find an opening, you're going in. And for heaven's sake—don't screw it up."

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Raph muttered.

"Shut it, Raph," Leo said. He turned to face Mikey. "I know you can do this, Michelangelo. Just like we practiced. Once you find April, call us. We'll try to cover your retreat."

Mikey drew a deep breath. For the first time in his life, something like seriousness filled his eyes. He turned to look at Donnie. "Dude—I'm gonna make sure she's safe. I promise."

This is insane, Donnie thought. Nevertheless, he handed his t-phone to Mikey. "This should help you find her inside the building a little more easily. Well, at least her tessen."

Mikey nodded.

"Okay, guys. Let's go," Leo said.

They left Mikey behind and stealthily moved toward the most heavily guarded entrance.

"Leo," Donnie said, "are you sure that we can trust Mikey with this?"

"I need you and Raph here," Leo said. "Mikey is faster than all of us—and his weapons are better for infiltration. Think about it logically, Donnie. You're letting your feelings mess with your head."

"I'd rather stop talking and mess with those Footbots' heads," Raph growled.

"On three, guys."

* * *

As the Shredder started to remove his armor, April knew that the moment of escape she had been waiting for would never come. There was nothing she could do to save herself. She squeezed her eyes shut as if by doing so, she could escape the horror she was about to suffer.

There was a sudden banging on the door. "Master Shredder! We are under attack!"

"I told you in no uncertain terms to leave me alone!" Shredder growled.

"It's the turtles! They've already wiped out half the guards."

_The turtles._ April opened her eyes; her heart had nearly stopped beating her relief was so intense.

Shredder hadn't even fully taken off all of his armor. He glared angrily at her, as if it were her fault that the turtles had managed to find this place. He took several steps forward, and put his mouth next to her ear. "Don't think you've found a reprieve," he hissed. "Once I've defeated Hamato Yoshi's disciples, I'll ensure that your suffering is twice what it would have been."

With that, he replaced his helmet on his head and put back on the few pieces of armor he had removed. He turned out the light and left, locking the door behind him, leaving April alone in the darkness.

She barely even heard Shredder yelling at Fishface—all she knew was that she had been spared for the moment.

But she also knew that if she was still in this room when Shredder returned, she would not be so lucky.

For several minutes, she tried twisting her wrists and ankles free from the restraints. However, it did no more good this time than it had the first several hundred.

She thought she heard crashing in the distance.

_Come on, April,_ she thought. _There's got to be a way out of this._

Suddenly, she heard a soft voice on the other side of the door. "April? It's Michelangelo. Are you in there?"

"Yes," she nearly shouted. "Help!"

"Keep it down, dudette," Mikey said. However, a moment later, the door was kicked in with a loud slam. "Booyakasha! Oh, yeah!"

"You told me to be quiet?" April hissed.

"Chillax. It's time to get out of here now," Mikey said, as he fumbled for the light switch.

"Don't look at me!" squealed April when the light came on.

Mikey yelped and dropped his nunchuks in his haste to cover his eyes. "Naked," he whimpered.

"I'm chained to the table, Mikey. Get me out of here."

"Uh, gonna be kind of hard to do that without looking at you."

"Well then—just don't look too closely!"

Mikey picked up his nunchuks again. He popped out the blade that was hidden in the handle on his kusurigama and clumsily started picking the locks.

"Hurry up!" April urged.

"Look, I'm not exactly a genius at picking locks, okay?"

One lock undone.

"Come on, Mikey…"

"I'm trying!"

Two locks.

There was the sound of crashing and shouting down the hall. Mikey made a whimpering sound.

Three locks.

"Almost there," he said, fidgeting with the last one.

"Hurry!"

"I'm already said I'm trying!"

Just as the lock clicked and the manacle opened, two Footbots charged into the room.

"Mikey! Look out!"

Mikey ducked and April rolled off of the table onto the floor. While Mikey held off the Footbots, April tried to see if any of the cut-up scraps of her clothing would be big enough to provide her with any modicum of modesty.

After taking down the two intruders, Mikey stood at the door keeping watch. "This isn't the best time to do your makeup, April," he muttered.

"I am _not_ leaving here naked!" April countered, tying a scrap of her ruined shirt around her chest. It hardly covered anything, but April fleetingly thought that she had seen more revealing swimsuits at the pool.

While she tied a few more scraps together around her waist, Mikey shouted, "We have to go now, dude!"

April scrambled to grab her tessens. "Let's go then!"

They ran out into the hall—only to see nearly thirty Footbots coming toward them.

Shredder stood at their head.

"Destroy the turtle. Leave the girl."


	27. Chapter 27

Author's note: Why, yes, I have been spending the whole day doing nothing but writing fan-fiction. A life? What's that?

* * *

Donnie didn't have time to think about April anymore. One Footbot after the other went careening as he struck them down with his staff. Leo had gotten himself pinned in a corner; with a quick press of his thumb, Donnie extended the blade hidden inside his bo-staff. He paused long enough to calculate the trajectory, then threw. The spear found its mark, giving Leo just enough time to escape.

Flinging shuriken at the 'bots in his path, Donnie charged into the cluster of assailants that had surrounded Raphael. A couple of well-placed punches threw two of them off balance, creating an opening for Raph to take them down with his sai.

With a duck and a roll, Donnie retrieved his staff from the now-deactivated Footbot. With a quick upwards thrust, the blade landed squarely in the chest of another robotic attacker. Sparks went flying. Donnie retracted the blade; using his staff as a vault, he leapt next to Leo and started covering his back.

"Mikey should have contacted us by now!" Leo shouted.

"You mean he hasn't?" Donnie replied, landing a devastating blow on one of the Footbot's heads. The head went flying in a shower of sparks.

"We gotta go in after him!" roared Raphael, as he used one of the dislocated mechanical arms to shield himself from an onslaught of throwing knives.

"We'll just get bottlenecked in," Leo said. "We need a different plan!"

"There is no plan 'b' this time, Leo," Donnie said. "Either we go in or my guess is that Mikey doesn't come out."

"Uh, guys?" Raph shouted. "Shredder!"

Leo and Donnie wheeled around. Shredder had emerged from the building, blades fully extended. Fishface stood at his side.

"Oh, sewer apples," Leo muttered. "This just gets better all the time."

The words hadn't finished leaving his mouth before Shredder charged them. Katanas flashing like lightning, Leo ran to meet the strike. Donnie and Raph ran to outflank him.

Leo staggered under the force of Shredder's charge. But it had been a feint; Raph and Donnie took Shredder by either side. For a moment, his arms were pinned—but his strength and speed eventually sent the two of them flying.

Donnie landed on his back with a _thud_. He looked up just in time to see Leo flash a covert signal with his hand: _Get inside._

Donnie nodded. Whirling his staff, he made his way through a crowd of Footbots toward the building's entrance. Some distance to his left, Raph was plowing through scores of robots, also following Leo's directions.

Glancing behind him, Donnie realized that Leo and the Shredder were still locked in combat. Leo was losing ground, and Footbots were crowding in on them. "Raph!" he shouted, gesturing toward their brother.

Raph looked, and without a moment's hesitation, he doubled back.

Donnie kept running, knowing that he had to find April and Mikey. With a shout, he blasted through the main entrance. There were relatively few guards inside; it seemed that they had succeeded in drawing out most of the force.

"And where do you think you're going?"

Donnie wheeled around to find Fishface standing behind him. Immediately, Fishface charged, performing his signature acrobatic attacks.

He was _fast._ Donnie had never found himself up against Xever completely alone before. Strike after strike, Donnie's every move was defensive. He was being backed into a corner. With a running leap, he used his staff to vault over Fishface, hoping to change the defensive landscape some—but one of Fishface's metallic legs caught him right in the stomach. The impact was so strong that Donnie thought he heard his plastron crack. He fell to the floor with a groan, clutching at the injury. He looked up to see Fishface running toward him with his switchblades open.

"Hyaa!" Raphael charged in and slammed bodily into Xever.

The evil-looking fish staggered back. "You," he hissed.

"Me," Raph growled.

Leo burst into the room and slammed the door behind him. "Donnie!" In a moment, he was at Donnie's side, helping him up. "You okay?"

Donnie saw a nasty cut on Leo's face. "No worse than you, I suppose. Where's Shredder?"

"Can—we—chat—later?" shouted Raph, who was losing defensive ground against Fishface.

As one, Leo and Donnie ran to Raph's aid. With a swing of his staff, Donnie knocked one of Fishface's switchblades out of his grip. Fishface countered with a flip, but Leo blocked the metallic legs with his swords.

Donnie dove to grab the switchblade. After quickly surveying the electronic configuration of Fishface's robotic legs, Donnie threw the knife with precision right into the power supply.

Xever was too busy with Leo and Raph to react. His legs powered down, and he collapsed to the floor, cursing and flopping around like…

"A fish out of water," Raph said, chuckling. "I almost feel sorry for him."

"Just you wait!" yelled Fishface.

"Ah, can it, will you?" Raph said.

"Hmm, they can tuna, don't they?" Leo said, with a grin. He and Raph did a fist-pump.

"Uh, guys? Where's Shredder?" Donnie asked again.

"Coward doubled back," Raph said. "He realized that one of us had already infiltrated the building ahead of time."

"You'll never win," Fishface hissed.

"I'll keep that in mind next time I kick your tailfins," Raph retorted.

"Shredder was headed for the other end of the building," Leo said. "Let's move!"

They hadn't even gone halfway across the room before a shrill scream reached their ears.

"It's April!" Donnie shouted. "She's upstairs!"

"Move!" Leo bellowed. They ran to the door for the stairway, but when it swung open, a group of Footbots charged out.

"Are you kidding me?" Raph yelled. "Where do they get all these guys?"

There was another scream.

"Donnie! Go!" shouted Leo. "We'll handle this!"

With a fierce shout, Donnie blasted past the wall of Footbots and started fighting his way up the staircase.

_I'm coming, April._

* * *

"Destroy the turtle," said the Shredder. "Leave the girl."

As the Footbots started running down the hallway, April held up her tessens. A new wave of adrenaline was coursing through her system, bracing her for the fight.

"Sewer bunnies. I was afraid he was gonna say that," Mikey muttered. He glanced up at the ceiling. "Got an idea." He opened up his convertible nunchuk and flung the kusurigama chain high. It wrapped around one of the rafters several times. "Climb it. Now. Fast. Go through the rafters and get out through that vent down there."

April winced internally. She had never been good at the rope climb. "What about you?"

Mikey shrugged. "I promised Donnie," was all he said. "Now go."

When April glanced down the hall and saw Shredder glaring at her, she stopped hesitating. "Take these," she said, handing her tessens to Mikey. "I have nowhere to put them while I'm climbing." Without another thought, she started to climb the chain as quickly as she could.

She was only a few feet off the floor when the first wave of Footbots arrived.

"Booyakasha!" Mikey launched the tessens into the first two robots; they hit the ground. Out of the corner of April's eye, Mikey just looked like a blur of movement. One against thirty _and _the Shredder—there was no way he could possibly survive this, was there?

She kept climbing, as fast as she could. When one of the robots started climbing up after her, she screamed. Mikey wheeled around and flung shuriken at the robot, causing it to lose its grip and fall.

"You climb like a girl!" Mikey shouted, whirling around again and striking another robot right in the face with his remaining nunchuk . "C'mon!"

April tried to climb faster; her sweaty palms caused her to slip occasionally. She would be to the rafters soon, if she could just keep going…

She glanced down again. Mikey was completely hemmed in, doing everything he possibly could to keep the Footbots away from the chain. He was slowing down, losing momentum. Once April reached the rafters, with that many enemies, there was no way Mikey was going to be able to climb up after her.

_"I promised Donnie."_

His idea had not allowed for his own escape.

_Mikey. Oh, Mikey._

She was almost to the top. She had one hand on the rafter, when a wave of shuriken sailed up to the ceiling. With a scream, she lost her grip and slid down several feet.

"Do not let her escape!"

Shredder was less than six feet away from Mikey now.

And then—

He sprung.

With a cry, Mikey went flying backwards. He'd only had time to raise his forearms to deflect the strike.

As soon as he was down, Footbots started swarming up the chain like angry ants. Shredder continued to advance toward Michelangelo.

April desperately tried to climb back up the chain again, but her palms were too sweaty. Mikey was at least standing again, but he was clearly losing in his battle against the Shredder.

It was the moment she had been waiting for.

_This is going to hurt,_ she told herself. Then, throwing caution to the wind, she released her tight grip and allowed herself to slide down the chain. The friction burned her hands, but as she fell, she kicked downward furiously, knocking the closest Footbot off the chain. When it fell, it took all of the ones further down along with it.

Gripping tightly again, April caught herself about ten feet above the floor. She started swinging back and forth as hard as she could. When she had enough momentum built up, she let go at the height of the arc and let go. She went flying through the air and crashed into Shredder's back, knocking him completely down onto the floor. Mikey rolled out of the way just in time.

April was slightly dazed from the impact. Mikey ran over to her, grabbed her by the hand, and yanked her up onto her feet. "Run!" he said, dragging her away from where Shredder was.

Shredder was pushing himself up off of the floor, roaring like an animal.

April looked behind her. There were no windows, no doors, no escape routes. "Run where?" she shouted.

Mikey glanced around and let out a slight squeak. "Good point."

"Fools," Shredder growled. "There is no way out for you."

Mikey gasped quietly. "You'll have to dodge those Footbots, but there's a door at the end of the hall past where Shred-head is," he whispered. "As soon as he's on the move, run. Promise?"

His whole being seemed to say, _"I promised Donnie."_

April didn't even have time to reply. Mikey stepped in front of her and held his hands up in a defensive position.

Shredder laughed. "You don't even have any weapons, you pathetic mutant. How do you hope to stop me?"

"Two words," Mikey said, his voice as lighthearted as ever. "Booya, Kasha."

"Idiot."

"Bring it."

Shredder charged.

April ran.

She only had made a few full strides across the room when she heard Michelangelo make a strangled sound she had never heard before. She couldn't stop herself. She turned.

Michelangelo lay on the floor.

Above him stood the Shredder, with his long blades sunk deeply into the turtle's upper chest.

"MIKEY!" The scream that tore out of April's throat sounded nothing like her own voice.

Slowly, Shredder stood up straight, laughing.

Laughing, he turned to face her.

_"I promised Donnie."_

Mikey had sacrificed himself for her escape. She had to move, or that would be worth nothing now. She wheeled around and ran, her bare feet slapping loudly on the cold cement floor; she could hear Shredder pursuing her. She ran for her life, ducking between the advancing Footbots.

There couldn't have been more than ten of them left…

One of them cut her off. She couldn't change course in time, and she slipped and fell onto the floor.

A hand grabbed her ankle. "By the time I am through with you," Shredder growled, "you will wish you had never been born, April O'Neil."


	28. Chapter 28

"No!" screamed April, kicking furiously. No!"

"Restrain her," Shredder ordered the Footbots, not releasing his vice-like grip on her ankle.

Desperately, she reached up and tried to claw at Shredder's eyes. However, he simply stood up beyond her reach, and within moments she was pinned down on the floor by Footbots.

"Tie her up. We are vacating these premises."

As the Footbots tied her up, April started to scream uncontrollably. Mikey was dead. None of the other turtles were anywhere to be found. Shredder was just going to take her somewhere else where the nightmare could start all over again.

She screamed and screamed as the Footbots picked her up off of the floor and carried her down the hall. She screamed for help, for help from anyone. She started to beg and plead like a terrified child.

And Shredder just _laughed._

Suddenly, one of the doors in the hall behind them burst open.

"APRIL!"

April didn't have to look to know whose voice it was. "Donnie! Donnie, help!"

The Shredder's cruel laughter turned into a bellow of rage. "Fool! Do you think you will fare any better than your pathetic brother?"

"What did you do to him?" shouted Donnie, his voice raw with a rage that April never heard before.

"When I have finished you, perhaps you can ask him," Shredder replied coldly.

"We'll see about that!"

Though tied, April could still turn enough to see what was happening behind her. Donnie and the Shredder were crouched low, circling each other, poised to strike. On the other end of the room, seemingly miles away, Mikey lay motionless on the floor. Unrelentingly, the Footbots continued down the hall, still following their last orders. They were almost to the door.

"Don't let them take me away!" she screamed. "He's going to rape me, Donnie! Please!"

As if her words had lit a fuse into gunpowder, Donnie burst into action. He threw a handful of shuriken into Shredder's face, forcing the Shredder to duck. Using that moment as an opening, Donnie vaulted down the hall and with a flying kick took out both of the Footbots that were carrying April. April flew up into the air, and Donnie—as he had so many times before—caught her.

"Gotcha!...Holy Toledo," Donnie said, his face turning brilliantly red. He immediately set her down as though she were a poisonous frog and looked away.

At that precise moment, April remembered that she was almost naked, and then she noticed that in the struggle she had lost the scrap of fabric that she had tied around her chest. During her panic she hadn't even realized that it was gone. With a slight yelp, she clasped her arms across her chest to conceal herself.

However, Donnie had immediately gone back to focusing on the more important problem at hand. "Come on," he said, running for the door. "If it was an exit for them, it will work for us too."

Naturally, the door opened and more Footbots swarmed into the room.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Donnie snarled.

April glanced down the hall; Shredder was running straight at them. "Donnie! Look out!" April shouted.

The warning was almost too late. Donnie ducked just in time to avoid a fatal blow; at the same time, he took his staff and swept Shredder's feet off of the floor. Whirling around again, he drove back several Footbots who had come up behind them.

Shredder's armor crashed noisily when he fell, but he was up again in an instant. "Fools," he hissed. "Even if you live today, do you really think you'll ever escape me? In a world where friends will sell each other out to satisfy their addictions, a world where people act only in self-preservation, do you think you will ever find a place I can neither buy nor coerce my way into?"

"Actually, we already have one," Donnie replied, flipping back around to face his adversary. "It's called our family!"

In a flash of sai and katanas, Raph and Leo burst shouting into the room.

As if everything were in slow motion, April watched the three brothers converge on the Shredder in a streak of blue, red, and purple…

…and orange?

A familiar-looking chain flew in, trapping Shredder's dominant hand; sai gouged through the weak places in Shredder's armor; a staff sent Shredder's helmet flying off of his head; the blow from the katanas was so fierce that Shredder's armor was deeply dented.

Shredder collapsed under the force of their charge. He lay motionless on the floor.

"Yo, Shred-head!" shouted a very pale Michelangelo. His whole chest was bloodied, and he clutched at his injury with one hand. "Your aim sucks worse than a vacuum dome in a computer factory!"

"Mikey!" April squealed, running to him and throwing her arms around him. "I thought you were dead!"

Mikey squeezed his eyes shut. "Still naked," he said, trying to pull away from her.

"Sorry," April said, immediately stepping away and covering herself with her arms again.

"Holy cow!" Raphael and Leo said simultaneously, though April wasn't sure whether they were referring to her lack of clothing or Mikey's injuries, or both.

"Put your eyes back in your head, guys," Donnie said impatiently. He threw a volley of shuriken at some Footbots who had managed to sneak up on them. "We need to get out of here, now!"

"Mikey, can you walk?" Raph said, running to his injured brother's side.

"Oh, yeah, walking's fine. It's just breathing and moving that's bad."

While Leo held off more Footbots and Raph assisted Mikey's egress, Donnie went to one of the fallen Footbots and quickly removed its shirt. "A-A-April," he stammered, hanging the shirt on one end of his staff and extending it to her while he looked away.

Gratefully, April grabbed the garment and immediately put it on. Thankfully, it was long enough on her that it almost could pass for a mini-dress, so it covered more than her scrap-skirt did. "Thanks, Donnie," she said, blushing furiously. Now that most of the danger was past, she was horrified at the thought that her four best friends—_male_ friends—had seen her nearly stark nude.

"Are you okay?"

"Let's move, Donnie!" bellowed Leo.

"We're coming!" Donnie shouted back. "Let me carry you," he said to April, more softly.

April wasn't going to protest for even a moment. She stood behind him and put her arms around his neck; meanwhile, he held his bo-staff horizontally so that she could sit on it as though it were a bench. As soon as she was secure, Donnie ran for the door, ducking a few throwing knives as he did.

April closed her eyes. She no longer needed to wait and watch for her opportunity to find safety. With Donnie carrying her away from danger—as he had so many times before—she knew she was safe.

Safety had found its way to her.


	29. Chapter 29

Atsuko sat on the dilapidated couch in the den, holding a cup of tea close to her face. Splinter, his rodent form making him look like an escaped lab experiment, sat on the couch diagonal from her. He held his teacup balanced on one leg, while absentmindedly stroking the long beard on his chin.

They hadn't spoken to each other for nearly an hour; Splinter had refilled their teacups at least twice.

After several more minutes, Splinter lifted his cup of tea to his mouth and drained it. "You must not fault yourself, sister," he said. It was the first thing he had said since Atsuko had explained April's capture.

"Mustn't I?" Atsuko countered, taking a sip of her tea. It was now lukewarm.

"You acted to protect yourself. Remember, there is no right or wrong; only choices."

Atsuko chuckled bitterly. "So says the man who blames himself based on a single choice."

Splinter sighed. "Do as I say, not as I do."

"Perhaps the philosophy itself is flawed."

"Perhaps." They were silent for several more minutes. Then, Splinter stood up. "Do you care for more tea?"

"No, thank you, I'm swimming as it is."

Splinter chuckled dryly. "May I take your cup?"

Atsuko held up her empty teacup to him. "Thank you, Yoshi."

Splinter shook his head. "Do not call me that," he said. "No one has in years. My sons call me Splinter; it is what I am accustomed to."

"Thank you, Splinter."

"And you—you have become accustomed to 'Satou Atsuko?'"

"Yes. But please, call me Atsuko."

Splinter nodded. "Of course, Atsuko."

Atsuko felt herself tear up somewhat. "I don't mind 'sister,' either, my brother."

Splinter bowed. "I will return shortly." He returned the cups to the kitchen and then came back and sat on the couch again. "It is well past midnight," he commented.

"Do you think—"

"I worry. But my sons are skilled warriors, even if their skills are sometimes impeded by their youth. They have never failed to return to me." He sighed deeply. "Yet I always fear, 'this will be the time they do not come home.'"

"I know that under your tutelage, my sons would have become great warriors."

Splinter closed his eyes. "Kenji showed great promise, and I know that Suki would have as well."

Atsuko felt tears roll down her face. It was the first time in years she had heard their names spoken aloud.

"It is small recompense, sister, but if you are willing to accept them, my sons may be your sons also."

"A woman could never ask for stranger and more fantastic nephews," Atsuko said, with a single laugh. "But once they have learned my betrayal of April, they will not accept me."

"Perhaps. But they occasionally surprise me with maturity and wisdom beyond their years."

Suddenly, they heard a clatter coming from the old subway track.

Both of them stood up immediately.

"Help!" shouted a voice.

"Raphael," muttered Splinter. He sprinted over to the old turnstiles. "Raphael!"

"It's Mikey," Raphael said.

Splinter swore in Japanese. At that, Atsuko ran over to them. She gasped at the sight of the turtle—the one who had struck her with his nunchuks—pale and bloodied. He was unconscious, slung over the red-masked—apparently Raphael—turtle's shoulder.

Immediately, Splinter helped Raphael carry Mikey over to the couch, where they stretched him out. Splinter took a pulse, when he swore under his breath, Atsuko suspected it was too slow.

"Where are Donatello and Leonardo?"

"A little behind," Raphael said, gasping to catch his breath. "Donnie's got April. Leo had to cover our retreat. They should be here any second."

As if on cue, Leonardo and Donatello burst into the lair. Donatello immediately set April on the floor. "Get Mikey into the lab, now!" he shouted. "Is he—?"

"Just barely," Raphael said.

In a blur of movement, Splinter and the three standing turtles carried Mikey into the lab, leaving April and Atsuko alone.

When Atsuko saw April's state—wearing only a long shirt, bruised and cut—she burst into tears. "April! April-chan! Oh, please forgive me!"

April stood at a distance, as though afraid of her. "I've been asking myself why," she said. "Why did you turn on me? "

"I'm so sorry, April!" Atsuko ran to embrace April, but the young girl stepped back.

"I trusted you," April said, trembling. "Why didn't you trust me?"

"I was selfish. I was terrified for myself. Please forgive me. I've spent the last several hours hating myself for it."

"Are you Tang Mei?"

"I was."

"It was Shredder who did all those things to you, wasn't it?"

Atsuko nodded, her sobbing renewed.

"I think—I think I understand why you were so afraid. Did you think I was with the Foot?"

Atsuko hung her head. "I did. II thought _he_ had found me, using you to trap me." Her heart nearly stopped. "April! Oh, April—did he—did he…?"

"He tried," April said, turning pale at the memory. "The turtles interrupted him just in time."

"April…please forgive me."

"I learned a lesson about grudges recently," April said quietly. "I promised myself I'd never hold one again."

With that, they ran to embrace each other, but April pulled away quickly. "Mikey!"she said, and promptly galloped across the room to the lab.

* * *

April burst into the lab. Michelangelo lay on the exam table, hooked up to the same home-made monitors that Donnie had used for her father when he was injured.

Donnie was looking at his computer screen, using it to analyze the injury, while Raph and Leo applied firm pressure to the injuries. "It's absolutely incredible," Donnie was saying. "The blades missed his heart and aorta by millimeter."

"Is he going to make it?" Leo asked, his voice panicky.

"In theory," Donnie said. "But he's lost a lot of blood."

"In _theory_?" snarled Raph.

"Master Splinter," Donnie said. "That chest of drawers—top drawer. There's surgical tubing. I need three pieces of it."

Splinter hurried to get the tubing. Meanwhile, Donnie opened a kit and pulled out two needles that were wrapped in sterile paper. "This is going to get messy," he muttered. He grabbed a bottle of isopropyl alcohol. "I have to wash my hands," he said. "Leo, Raph. I need one of you to be a blood donor."

"I'll do it!" they said simultaneously. "No, I will!"

"Leo, I will rearrange your face if you don't let me do it!" Raph snarled.

"Fine!"

Donnie finished scrubbing his hands and arms up to the elbows. As he came back over to the table, he muttered angrily about manufacturers not making three-fingered surgical gloves. "Bring in another table for Raph. Something higher than this one."

Splinter ran to get the table. Meanwhile, Donnie opened one of the needles and inserted it into a vein in Mikey's arm. When Splinter returned, April helped him set it up.

"Raph, wash your hands and get on the table. Master Splinter, help Leo with applying pressure." Donnie paused, and looked up at April. "Would you be able to get us some more towels?" he asked gently.

April ran to get them. She almost collided with Satou on the way out. When she returned, Donnie was using his fingers to poke around at Raph's arm.

"What exactly are you doing, Donnie?"

"Trying to find a good vein."

"There's one right there!"

"That one's too small, meathead."

"What's the difference?"

"Shut up and lie down!"

After a few tense moments, Donnie muttered, 'Ah hah." Then, he jabbed the other needle, now connected with the one in Mikey's arm by the surgical tubing, deep into Raph's arm. Dullish red blood started to run through the tube. "Okay, Raph. Just lie still and don't move."

Then, Donnie hurried to get sutures.

"Donatello!" shouted Splinter, his voice more desperate than April had ever heard it. "His heart stopped!"

Everything became like a blur to April. She stood watching, Satou at her side, as the others attempted to resuscitate Mikey. It seemed like she watched them administer CPR for hours, all the while becoming more and more desperate. After disconnecting Mikey from Raph, Donnie grabbed some electrodes and used them as a defibrillator; Mikey's body twitched every time the electric pulse was applied, but his heart remained still.

Donnie practically started punching at Mikey's chest, screaming his name. Raph was sitting up, his eyes wide with horror. Leo was still trying to keep Mikey from losing any more blood; Splinter had completely lost all of his composure and was begging Michelangelo not to leave them.

"Everybody clear!" Donnie screamed, his voice hoarse. He applied the electrodes once, then started pounding furiously on Mikey's chest once again. "Come on, Mikey, come on!"

Suddenly, the monitor started beeping again. Everybody cheered; April nearly passed out from relief. Quickly, Donnie reconnected the crude blood transfusion from Raphael.

For the next several minutes, April had no idea what Donnie was doing; all she knew was that Mikey's heart was still beating.

After what could have been an hour or days, Donnie declared, "Now I just need to culture an antibiotic."

"Is he going to make it?" Splinter asked. April had never seen him so distraught.

"The chances are good," Donnie said, "as long as he doesn't get a secondary infection or have an infarction from loose blood clots…"

"Yes or no, Donnie?" bellowed Leo.

Donnie glared. "In the most simplistic terms, yes. He's going to make it."

Everyone cheered. Leo threw his arms around Donnie; they pulled Splinter into their hug. Raph tried to sit up, but Donnie yelled at him to lie back down. Nevertheless, he and Leo came over and rubbed Raph's head with their knuckles.

"Gaah! I hate noogies! Stop!" Raph protested.

Nearly drowning in happiness, April gave Satou a huge hug. They were both laughing like idiots.

"So that's Donnie?" Satou said quietly.

"Yeah," April replied, wiping a tear of relief from her eyes.

"My sweet child, that Casey boy must be very, very special."

April gasped. "Casey! We never did find Casey! What if the Foot Clan has him?"

Splinter, Leo, Raph, and Donnie all looked up, the celebration sliding off their faces.

"Just when I thought the work was over," Raph mumbled, starting to sit up again.

"You are not going anywhere," Donnie scolded. "Not until you've regenerated some of your blood supply."

"We've got to find him!" April squealed. "I should call him!"

"I tried calling him earlier, but he didn't answer," Raph said, this time not trying to get up.

"No harm in trying again," Leo said. He pulled out his t-phone.

"Let me call him," April begged. "Please."

Leo gave April an appraising look. "I think you've probably had enough excitement today."

"Let her, Leo," Donnie said.

That startled April. Donnie was looking very intently at the floor in front of him and she could tell he was trying to keep his face expressionless. Suddenly, the weight of what Satou had said about Casey sunk in, and Satou didn't even know the half of it. Donnie had just gone through hell and back for April. Mikey nearly died because he "promised Donnie." Promised Donnie what? That he would keep her safe? And now, after all of that, here Donnie was arguing on April's behalf— so she could call Casey.

"Fine," Leo said with a sigh.

Donnie went to his desk and picked up something from it. "Here's your phone, April. Your friend brought it back." He walked over to her and held out the phone.

April wanted to hug him, but she remembered Leo's instructions not to mess with Donnie's head. "Thanks, Donnie," she said.

Donnie just nodded.

Without another moment's hesitation, April punched in Casey's speed-dial and then put the phone on speaker. She wanted everyone to be able to hear. After the phone rang a few times, it went to voicemail.

"Casey, it's April. As soon as you get this, please call me!" After she hit 'end,' she looked up at everyone else. "He's not picking up," she said needlessly. It was an expression of desperation rather than communication.

"Do you think the Foot got to him?" Raph asked, pushing himself up.

Donnie turned around. "For the last time, Raph, stay down!"

Grumbling, Raphael complied.

"Call him again, April," Donnie said, trying to sound encouraging. "This time, I'll trace the call. It might not tell us exactly where he is, but it will give us a place to start. Bring your phone over to my computer."

They waited in silence while Donnie ran the program. April glanced over at Satou, who gave her a sympathetic look.

"There," announced Donnie.

"Let's go, then!" April cried.

Instantly, a cacophony of protests filled the air.

"Are you crazy?"

"No!"

"Absolutely not!"

"No way!"

"April, you can't!"

April wasn't even sure who had said what. "But—"

"I'll go," Donnie said, standing up from his desk.

"No way, Donnie," Leo said firmly. "You need to stay here in case Mikey's condition worsens."

"But you can't go by yourself, Leo," Donnie protested.

"I'll go," Satou said.

Leo looked at her with surprise. "I don't think so."

"The side effects of that injection Donatello gave me have worn off."

"He only gave you the injection because you collapsed earlier."

"Leonardo," Splinter said. "She _will_ accompany you."

"But Sensei," Leo sputtered.

Splinter scowled. "You can trust her. Do not argue with me."

Donnie and Raph exchanged glances; after a moment of hesitation, Leo bowed. "Hai, Sensei," he muttered. He turned to face Satou. "Are you ready to go?"

"I'll need my sai back," Satou replied.

"Oh, yeah," Raph said. "I put those in the top drawer of Donnie's desk."

Donnie pulled open the drawer and removed the weapons. He took off a stray sticky note that had gotten stuck to the handle and paused to read it.

"Donnie, hurry up!" Leo snapped.

"Sorry," Donnie said sheepishly, tossing the note aside. He gave Satou a customary bow before handing her weapons to her.

"Thank you," Satou said.

"Let's go," said Leo.

April watched them leave, silently praying that Casey would be all right.


	30. Chapter 30

Leonardo was fast. Atsuko found herself envying his youth as they hurried up through the sewers. He hadn't said a single word to her since they left the lair.

It was understandable. Trust did not come easily to anyone who followed the ways of the ninja. Furthermore, he still did not know the full story how she had contributed to April's capture—only that she somehow had.

Even though he ran swiftly, Atsuko could tell how tired he was. She could see the cuts and bruises, left untended, that he had sustained. She felt a pang of guilt knowing that if she had not turned on April, he never would have had to suffer the injuries in the first place.

Above ground, they continued on in silence. As they scaled up buildings and traveled across the rooftops, Atsuko's muscles loudly informed her that she was normally a computer programmer, not a hero of some kind. She pressed on as long as she could—but she was out of breath and her legs were cramping.

"Leonardo," she gasped. "Stop."

The turtle paused. "What is it?" he asked.

"I need to catch my breath."

Leonardo frowned, as if he had been waiting for this moment. "Fine."

Atsuko stretched while she tried to normalize her breathing somewhat.

"So…" Leonardo began.

"Yes?"

"You're Tang Shen's sister?"

The question caught Atsuko off guard. She had expected him to ask about what had happened with April. "I am. I was."

"I'm guessing you and Master Splinter discussed 'recompense' while we were gone?" In response to Atsuko's stunned look, he said, "He did teach us to speak Japanese, you know."

"I—"

"I don't care what you think—it wasn't his fault. So if you try to hurt him, or any of my brothers…"

Atsuko stared at the turtle standing in front of her. His eyes were narrowed with distrust and suppressed anger. His hand was resting on the handle of one of his katanas.

"I won't," Atsuko said softly, standing up from her stretching. "I've realized that I was wrong."

Leonardo relaxed somewhat and lowered his hand. "Good," he said. "Are you ready to keep going?"

"Yes."

Without another word, Leonardo started moving forward again. However, he kept a slightly slower pace this time, which Atsuko interpreted to be a peace offering of sorts.

When they had reached the place indicated by the map, Leonardo signaled for Atsuko to stop. "I'm guessing that abandoned radio station is where Donnie traced the signal to," he said. He looked at Atsuko appraisingly. "So what do I call you, anyway?"

"Atsuko is fine."

Leonardo nodded. "I hope we come out of this in one piece, Atsuko. I have a lot of questions I'd like to ask you."

"I hope that I will be able to answer them for you." Forming tears made Atsuko's eyes sting; she understood all of the implications of everything he had said to her so far. He was an incredibly devoted son and brother, driven by an inborn sense of honor.

Turtle or no, she understood why Splinter was proud to call Leonardo 'son.'

A slight grin crossed Leonardo's face. "You can answer one for me now. Was Splinter always such a killjoy?"

Atsuko couldn't hold in her laughter. "No. He was somewhat like your brother—Raphael, is it?"

"Raph? You're kidding! We're talking about the same turtle, right? Sai, red mask?"

"That's the one," Atsuko said.

Leo shook his head. "I'm not sure if that means there's hope for Raph or if I should start being worried about Splinter."

"Possibly both."

"All right—let's do this. I don't see anyone, but we should be cautious."

Using the shadows, they stole their way to the old radio station. Leonardo took a smoke bomb and threw it on the ground in front of the entrance. When there was no response, he nodded and they entered the building with their weapons drawn.

"The first room seems to be clear," he said. "But I don't like this."

"I don't either," Atsuko agreed.

When they advanced into the next room, they were assaulted by the smell of bile and alcohol. Casey was lying on the floor in a puddle of his own vomit.

"Casey!" shouted Leonardo, running to his side.

Atsuko lingered in the doorway, surveying the room. She noticed two empty glass bottles, each of them at least 750 milliliters in size, lying on the floor. Atsuko thought that she understood at least part of what had happened—what she didn't understand was why. When Casey moaned and started to sit up, she saw that his face was covered with scratches and bruises.

"What the heck happened, Jones?" Leonardo was saying.

"April," Casey groaned. "Is she all right?"

"Yeah, she's fine. Did the Foot attack you?"

"More or less." Casey retched and coughed up some more vomit.

"Glaah!" Leo jumped back. "Did you get poisoned?"

"In a manner of speaking," Atsuko said, picking up one of the empty bottles.

Leonardo looked over. "Wait…you mean he's…"

"Intoxicated."

"What? You've been sitting here drinking all night?"

"Not all night," Casey said hoarsely. "I think I was passed out for some of it."

Leonardo practically radiated anger. "Get up, Jones," he said, hoisting Casey up from the ground. You have a lot of explaining to do, so get started. Now."

"Keep your voice down, Leo," Casey moaned.

"He asked you for an explanation," Atsuko snapped. She held up one of her sai threateningly. "I suggest you give one."

Casey belched. "I need some water or something."

"You'll get it when you've explained yourself," Leo said.

"Uh…this chick, right? Cry, or something like that."

"Karai?" Leo asked flatly.

"Yeah. Karai. She uh, jumped me and set up this big ambush thing."

"Where does an entire case of vodka come into this?" Atsuko said, looking into the box that still contained several bottles.

"Um…she made me drink it?"

Leo crossed his arms. "She…made you."

"It's a long story, dude."

"I'm not playing games," Leo snarled.

Casey started sobbing drunkenly. "I didn't mean it!" he cried. "It was an accident! I didn't want to, it just happened!"

Atsuko sighed. "This might take a while," she said to Leonardo.

It took them the better part of an hour to get Casey to disclose the details of his predicament. When the truth finally came out, Leonardo was boiling with rage.

"You sold April out for booze?" Leonardo shouted. He picked up one of the full bottles and threw it across the room; it hit the wall and shattered.

"Like I said, I didn't mean to," Casey protested. "It just happened."

"How does that 'just happen?'"

"I just—dude, it's like everything turns off. I didn't want her to get hurt. And I knew she'd be safe with you guys watching her back, and then Satou protecting her too."

Atsuko cringed; she was no less guilty in April's capture than Casey had been. Both of them had been affected by circumstances beyond their control. However, that didn't mitigate the blame.

"Yeah, she was safe!" Leonardo bellowed, grabbing Casey and shaking him. "After she almost got—she almost got really hurt, Casey! Michelangelo almost died! He's lying unconscious in Donnie's lab, and we're still not one hundred percent sure how his recovery will go! Do you think any of what you just said excuses one little bit of that?"

"I didn't mean to—"

With a snarl, Leonardo slapped Casey across the face. "You put my brothers in danger!"

He raised his hand to hit Casey again, but Atsuko grabbed his hand. "Leonardo, stop," she said.

Leonardo looked back her, his eyes lit with rage. Atsuko could see that for him, to endanger his brothers or anyone he loved was an unforgivable sin. With a pang, she knew that she too would have to confess her guilt to him. She would deserve every bit of his anger.

"Substance addiction is an incredibly powerful thing," she said. "For some, it's worse than others."

"That doesn't excuse it!"

"No, it doesn't. But it explains it—helps make sense of it."

"Leo, please," Casey said. "You've gotta believe me. I didn't mean for it to happen this way."

"Fine," Leonardo replied. "You didn't mean it to—but it did. So, I think it's pretty clear that we can't trust you."

"I agree," Atsuko said. "But I think April should have a chance to decide if she wants to forgive you."

"Don't tell April," Casey begged. "Please."

Before Leonardo could say anything, Atsuko cut him off. "Listen, Casey. Either you man up and tell April yourself, or you can be a coward and break up with her, then stay the hell away from her. The choice is yours."

Leonardo nodded in approval of Atsuko's statement. "Either way, Jones, our friendship is over. I'll let my brothers decide whether they ever want to talk to you again, but I promise you—if you ever put them in danger like this again, it will be the last thing you ever do. Understand?"

"Please, man, don't tell the guys. I—I really wanted it to be different this time. I was straightened up and I thought for once I was going to get a chance to do it right."

Leonardo sighed. Despite his anger, Atsuko could see that he was still capable of compassion. "Okay. Same deal. Either you tell my brothers yourself or you never talk to them again, got it?"

Casey let out a pathetic sob. "This isn't what I wanted my life to be."

"I know, Casey," Leonardo said, and his voice was surprisingly gentle. "It's not too late to turn it around." With that, he started to walk away.

"We shouldn't just leave him here alone," Atsuko said. "We should take him home."

Begrudgingly, Leonardo nodded.

They helped Casey walk back to his house. None of them said anything the whole way there. Before leaving, however, Leonardo handed Casey's cell phone back to him.

"Look. You have two days to decide whether you're going to be a man and tell April and my brothers yourself. After that, I'm having Donnie change the codes and you won't be able to contact us again."

Casey nodded. "Thanks." Then, he stumbled his way up the sidewalk and walked into his house.

"Let's go," Leonardo said to Atsuko.

Keeping to the shadows, they walked the rest of the way back to the lair, conversing quietly as they did.

"So what was the terrible mistake you made?" Leonardo asked.

Atsuko drew a deep breath. "When the Foot Clan attacked us, I thought that the Shredder had learned that I was still alive and wanted to capture me again. I thought that April was part of the trap. I saw her with her phone—and I thought she was calling for reinforcements.

"I—I was his prisoner for a year after he killed my family. I couldn't bear the thought of being his prisoner again. I lost my senses and panicked. Then—I knocked her out. The Clan took her away. I let them. I didn't understand until—well, after I had fought you and your brothers."

Leonardo simply nodded.

"I would understand if you never wanted anything to do with me again," Atsuko said.

"You told this to Splinter?"

"Yes."

"You talked to April about it?"

"Yes."

"Then we're good."

Atsuko was floored. "Just like that?"

"Splinter says I can trust you. From what I could tell, April forgave you. That's enough for me."

"But after everything you just said to Casey, I thought—"

"Atsuko," Leonardo said, laying his hand on her shoulder. "There's a difference between a trustworthy person who makes a mistake and a person you can't trust."

Almost ready to cry, Atsuko embraced him. "Leonardo, I would be honored if you would accept me as your aunt."

Awkwardly, he returned the hug. When they pulled apart, he was smiling. "I think I'd like that."


	31. Chapter 31

After Leo and Satou left the lab, Donnie sat down heavily in his lab chair, trying to take inventory of his own hurts—minor cuts, bruises, a pulled hamstring—none of which he had even noticed until now.

He was practically ready to fall off of his chair. Hours of physical and emotional exertion had left him utterly drained. He felt certain that he had experienced every emotion known to the human mind—what many psychologists had simply summarized as "mad, glad, sad, and scared." Since Raphael had come home and April had not answered her phone, he had been riding through the tides of so many feelings at once that it seemed his mind couldn't keep up with them. Anger. He had felt every shade of it, every different nuance from annoyance to rage. Sadness. The nearly unbearable grief of believing his brother to be dead, to the simple sorrow of knowing April was Casey's girlfriend. Joy. Reveling in the fact that they had succeeded; Michelangelo's prognosis was hopeful.

But of all of them, the most powerful emotion Donnie had felt was fear. Fear for his brothers—especially Michelangelo. His own fear of the Shredder. Fear for Casey. And, after having heard what Satou—or Tang Mei, or whoever—fear for Splinter. Fear for April.

April. She had been through so much tonight. He looked up at her. She was standing alone near the door of the lab, looking out into the rest of the lair with a worried expression. His stomach twisted when he knew that her thoughts were with Casey, but over the last few days he had started to accept the fact that her happiness was all that was important to him. He didn't like the fact that Casey made her happy, but he did like that she was happy.

And now, she was unhappy. She was easily as exhausted as he was, if not more so.

_"He's going to rape me, Donnie!"_

Even now, the words echoed in his head. Her voice had been so terrified. She had been so exposed and vulnerable—he blushed at the thought of her naked. She had said that Shredder was going to rape her; but what Donnie feared was that she meant he was going to do it _again._

In light of all of the other events of the evening, Casey's absence was probably only a small part of her distress—though important nevertheless.

Though exhausted, Donnie knew he couldn't rest until April was taken care of. He rose from his chair and walked across the room to April's side. "Don't worry, April," he said. "Leo and—Tang Mei, I guess—will find him."

April looked up at him, her face wracked with conflicting emotions. "I hope so."

"You have a cut on your face. Let me get you a bandage."

April followed him over to his first aid kit. She was silent the whole time he dressed her injury.

"Do you want some water?" he asked.

April simply nodded.

"I'll be right back." He got up and headed to the kitchen. After discovering that they had no clean dishes and silently cursing Raph for not having done so even though it was his turn, Donnie washed a glass, muttering to himself about Raph being lazy. He let the water run until it was nicely cold and then filled the now-clean glass. When he turned around, he started. April had followed him to the kitchen, and he hadn't even heard her.

"April," he said, "I would have brought it to you."

"I know," April replied, sitting down at the table. After Donnie had set the glass down, she took a long sip. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He pulled out a chair from the table and sat down, groaning slightly when his pulled muscle complained with pain.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, as Mikey might say, 'I blew a hammy.'"

"That's the one on the back of the leg, right?"

"Yes, from the gluteus maximus down to the knee."

April smiled slightly. "Don't you mean the 'patella,' Mr. Accuracy?"

"No. The patella is the bone on the front of the knee. The hamstring doesn't connect to it at all."

"Last time I try to outsmart you," April said with a chuckle.

She was so beautiful when she smiled. Heck, she was beautiful in general, and even though he had only seen a brief glimpse of her uncovered body—

She was still wearing the shirt he had taken from one of the Footbots! "Hey, do you have a change of clothes in your room down here? If not, Master Splinter has an extra robe."

"I have spares here." She paused. "Thank you, Donnie, for taking the time to find something for me to wear. It means a lot to me. It was bad enough that Mikey—but, I still can't believe that all of you saw me…well, you know."

Donnie felt his face get hot. "Well, I promise none of us stared. And I'm sure that most families have awkward moments like that."

"Is that what you think of me as, Donnie? Family?"

_Oh, April. Yes, but so much more than that too. _"Yeah."

"Thanks."

After hesitating, Donnie had to ask the question that was burning inside of him. "April, did Shredder…" he began, but he couldn't finish the sentence. The thought of April being violated hurt him so much. April stared at the table. Her face paled. Donnie immediately knew he had upset her. He hadn't wanted to upset her, but he was just so worried about her.

"He almost did. I—I've never been so scared in my life. If you guys had been even a few minutes later, he would have. And then, after Mikey got hurt, if you hadn't gotten there in time…" She swallowed.

"It's okay, April. You're safe now."

She looked at him, her eyes damp. "Because of you, Donnie," she whispered.

Donnie blushed. "It was nothing."

"No! It was everything! I needed you, and you saved me."

Trembling slightly, Donnie reached across the table and put his hand on hers. "I'll always be there when you need me."

* * *

"I'll always be there when you need me."

For a moment, April thought she was going to burst into tears again. She owed so much to Donnie. How many times had he saved her life? How many times had he gone to incredible lengths to help her? She wrapped fingers around Donnie's hand and squeezed slightly. "I'll never have a better friend than you, Donnie."

_Friend. _The word made Donnie jump somewhat. Immediately, he retracted his hand and nervously scratched his head. "Well, uh, what are friends for?"

_"That Casey boy must be very special," _Satou had said. And Casey was special. He made April feel giddy with excitement and feelings she'd never experienced before.

"I'd better go check on Mikey," Donnie said. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, Donnie."

As she watched Donnie leave, she found herself feeling conflicted. Being with Casey was the most exhilarating thing she'd ever felt. She liked him. But compared to Donnie…

_No,_ she thought. _Don't do this to yourself, April. You're with Casey now. You chose him._

And Casey said he loved her. His voice had been so full of feeling when he said it. _Love!_

She wished that she could talk to Satou about it again, but then she remembered what Satou had said about love. _Love—real love—is an action. It is a choice, not a feeling. A person you can trust beyond doubt, a person who always acts in your best interest—that is a person who loves you. _

Not a feeling. Action. A state of being and doing.

_"It is to be all made of sighs and tears…_

_It is to be all made of faith and service…_

_It is to be all made of fantasy,_

_All made of passion and all made of wishes,_

_All adoration, duty, and observance,_

_All humbleness, all patience and impatience,_

_All purity, all trial, all observance…_

Donnie may never have said "I love you" to her with words. But he had said it hundreds—if not thousands—of times in his actions. She chuckled dryly when she remembered that Donnie once said, "I'm all patience…and impatience." And he certainly had been made of faith and service, duty, trial…

_Donnie. Oh, Donatello. I think I've made a mistake._

As soon as she thought the words, she clapped her hands over her mouth. Had she really just thought that? Did she really think that night in the kitchen, when she had exchanged her first kiss, was a mistake?

She shook her head. She couldn't just take that kiss back and dump Casey because Donnie loved her. She liked Casey. End of story.

_…right?_

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone coming into the lair. Leo and Satou were back. Immediately, all of her thoughts about Donnie were forgotten. All she could think of now was Casey.

She ran out into the den, where she saw Leo and Satou setting down their gear. "Satou-san! Leo!" She ran to them. "Where's Casey."

"He's fine, April," Leo said. "He got into a scuffle with the Foot and he was out for a few hours, but he's fine. Probably doesn't even need stitches. He said he was going to go home and sleep it off, but that he'll try to call you tomorrow."

Even as a wave of relief swept over her, April got the feeling that something was off about what Leo had said. After how crazy the whole night had been, it was far too simple. "Why did they attack him?"

Leo shrugged. "Not sure. Maybe they saw us with him and thought they could use him against us. But the important thing is that he's okay."

"You should get some rest, April," Satou said, gently. "You need it."

It was as though April suddenly remembered just how exhausted she was, and immediately all of her emotions were replaced by exhaustion. She nodded and gave Satou and Leo each a hug. "Thank you."

"No problem," Leo said. He smiled, but something about it seemed slightly forced.

April was too tired to ask about it. "I think I'll go to bed. If anything happens with Mikey—promise you'll come get me?"

"I promise," Leo replied.

After brushing her teeth, April went to her makeshift room and fell asleep as soon as she lay down.


	32. Chapter 32

In his lab, Donnie sat amid a pile of electronic components searching for a specific piece. "Ah-hah! There you are!" Using tweezers, he picked up the little scrap of metal, and held it up. "Tungsten!"

Aunt Atsuko sat across from him, shaking her head in disbelief. "That's a light bulb filament, Donatello."

Donnie grinned. "Yeah, made of tungsten!" Even though he had only known her for less than a full forty-eight hours, he had already grown attached to Splinter's sister-in-law. They had all decided to claim her as their aunt, in spite of her mistake with April. She had joyfully adopted them as nephews and honorary sons, but because of her prowess with computers, she had made an instant connection with Donnie.

"Is this how you make all of your electrics?" she asked, her eyebrows raised high.

Donnie snorted. "Well, I can't exactly stroll into the nearest computer store, now can I?"

"So what exactly are you thinking for the mainframe on this? I could probably see about getting you some real components."

Donnie was elated at the thought. He had never had unlimited access to non-garbage components. "You…you're serious?"

"Whoa, Aunt Mei," Mikey said, looking up from his comic book. He was lying on the exam table, still hooked up to the monitoring equipment. "Don't say stuff like that to him, or he gets drool stains on his shell."

"Mikey! You know what, next time you're almost dead, I just won't bother."

"And Michelangelo," Aunt Atsuko said, "for the fifth time, please don't call me 'Mei.'"

"Oh, come on," protested Mikey. "It's the closest I've ever come to being Spider-Man, having an aunt named Mei."

Donnie rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty she that she spells it differently, shellbrain."

"Either way," Mikey said with a shrug.

Raphael and Leo walked into the lab, bearing popcorn, soda, and a stack of comic books.

"Hey, Mikey! How ya doing, buddy?" Raphael said loudly, plopping down the books.

"Your super limited edition _Kninja Knights_ books?" exclaimed Mikey. "Wow! You never let me touch these!"

"And, I brought you popcorn and your favorite soda," Leo said.

"Wow," Mikey said, popping open the tab on one of the cans of soda. "You guys have been super nice to me for the last two days. I should get stabbed by Shredder more often."

"Unfortunately, you might not want to say that," Leo sighed.

"What? Why? We kicked his armored butt!"

"Yes, but after we took him down, we didn't exactly stick around to make sure he was down permanently."

"Well," Donnie said, "there's no question that he'll be down for quite a while. There's even a chance we may have dealt him some lethal damage. But I have a feeling that our Shredder problem won't go away." After how Shredder had treated April, he regretted not having ensured their enemy was completely eliminated; however, the tactically smart move at the time was to escape rather than stay. And even if Shredder was dead, the probability of Karai coming after them was high.

"Aww, man!" Mikey groaned. "I got stabbed for nothing?"

"Not nothing," Aunt Atsuko said, looking up from the electronic components. "While we would have all preferred for Shredder's head to be mounted on a wall, the important thing is that April—and all of you—are safe."

Mikey tossed a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Where is April, anyway?"

"In her room doing homework," Leo replied, opening a can of soda for himself.

April had come to the lair in a bad mood. He worried that maybe she was dealing with post-traumatic symptoms; the thought made his stomach hurt. Psychology was a discipline that he was not as proficient in, so if she was going through post-traumatic stress, he wouldn't know what to do. He couldn't stand the notion of not being able to find a solution. "Still?" he asked, trying to sound nonchalant. "They must have given her a lot. She's been in there since we finished training."

"Speaking of training," said Raph, "when are you and I going to have a sai-off, Aunt Atsuko?"

Aunt Atsuko grinned wryly. "As soon as you are ready to be humiliated, Raphael."

"Awesome!" shouted Mikey. "Don't do it until I'm better so I can watch! Oh, and tape it. I want to watch it over and over…"

"Shut up!" Raph said, smacking Mikey on the head.

"Take it easy, Raph," Donnie said, jumping up. "He's better, but he's not out of the woods yet!"

"I thought we were in the sewers," Mikey said.

Rolling his eyes, Raphael asked, "What could possibly go wrong, Donnie?"

"A lot! A secondary infection—and there's the chance of stray blood clots that could cause an infarction or aneurism…"

"Aneurisms are in the brain, right?" asked Leo.

"Yes, so…"

"So Mikey's not in any danger," Raph replied, patting Mikey on the head.

"Hey!" Mikey shouted.

"It's not funny, guys!" Donnie snapped. "It's serious. No roughhousing with him until he's off his anticoagulant!"

"Where did you get an anticoagulant?" Aunt Atsuko asked, raising her brow.

"I synthesized it."

"You never cease to amaze me."

Donnie grinned widely. Aunt Atsuko had been saying things like that over the last two days. She hadn't had work on Sunday, though she did bring some of her paperwork with her to the lair. She had shown Donnie some of the specs for the new OS—and even took a recommendation from him. He finally felt that someone appreciated him.

Well, it wasn't that Splinter didn't appreciate his talents, but Splinter didn't completely understand them, either.

"Great. Last thing Donnie needs is a bigger head," Raph said.

"Yeah, Auntie M," said Mikey.

Aunt Atsuko glared at Mikey. "'Auntie M?'"

"Yeah! Now I'm like Dorothy."

"More like the scarecrow," said Donnie, with a snicker.

At that, everyone burst into laughter.

Suddenly, Aunt Atsuko's watch started beeping. "Sorry, boys," she said. "I need to be getting home. I have to be in to the office early tomorrow. Donnie, send me a text with whatever materials you need, will you? I'll see what I can do."

They all cheerily wished her a good night. After a round of hugs, she left the lab.

"It's so super-sweet having an aunt!" said Mikey.

"Yeah, it's almost as good as having a mom," Leo said.

"What are you talkin' about? We have a mom!"

Raphael rolled his eyes again. "You mean…the empty mutagen canister that Splinter saved?"

"What else would I mean?"

"Hey," said Leo. "Why don't we bring the TV in here and watch a movie?"

"Sounds good," said Donnie. April seemed so down; maybe a movie would cheer her up. "I'll go see if April is done with her homework."

Raph snickered loudly, and Donnie felt his face get hot. However, instead of retaliating, he just left the lab and walked through the lair over to April's makeshift bedroom. He wanted to see April smile; her frowns during training had upset him.

He was about to knock when he heard voices coming from inside.

"I don't understand, Atsuko," April said. Her voice was very upset. "He didn't call me yesterday. All he did was send me a text saying that he was okay. He wouldn't answer any of my texts or calls. Then at school today, he acted like he didn't even know me. I just don't understand it!"

"Sometimes we don't understand other people's choices."

"But he said 'I love you!' Why would he say that and then just…treat me like I don't exist?"

_That jerk!_ Donnie thought, his bile rising. _No wonder she's been so upset! Messing with my April's feelings like that…_

"Sweet child," Aunt Atsuko sighed. "There are times when it's better not to ask why, but better to accept and move on."

"How could someone who loves me just ignore me?"

"Sometimes, we think we love someone prematurely. That might be what Casey did."

"Maybe that's what I did," April grumbled. "I thought—I thought he liked me."

"There's your problem. 'Like' and 'love' are not equivalent."

April let out a harsh laugh. "You know, I was starting to feel all conflicted again, after everything Donnie did for me this weekend. I thought about what you said about love being more of an action than a feeling. I was wondering if I made the right choice when Casey and I kissed." She laughed again. "Guess I know the answer now."

_Conflicted?_ Hope exploded inside of Donnie. Did this mean that April would come to him, now that Casey was out of the picture?

Immediately, he felt guilty for thinking such a thing. He should have been focusing on what made April happy, not himself. Still, he longed that her happiness and his were not mutually exclusive outcomes…

A voice came from behind him. "Donnie, what are you doing?" Leo hissed.

Jumping, Donnie nearly yelped. "I-ah, I was just going to…"

"Eavesdrop on April's private conversation?"

"Well, no…I…well, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you."

Suddenly, they heard a text tone from inside the other room.

"It's from Casey," April said. There was a long pause.

Leo leaned in to listen, his whole body tense. He suddenly seemed as though finding out what was in that text message was the most important thing he could know

"Who's eavesdropping now, shellbrain?" Donnie whispered, trying to sound as resentful as possible.

"Shut up!" Leo replied, in hushed tones.

"Oh…no. Oh no. Oh no!" April started crying.

"What is it, April?" Aunt Atsuko asked. Her voice was tense—extremely tense.

Donnie noticed that Leo had tensed up again, too.

"He says—he says he can't ever see me again," April said, with a sob.

Donnie guiltily tried to silence his initial joy at the thought of April being 'available' with sympathy for her hurt feelings. However, he couldn't quell the tiny flicker of hope that danced inside his heart.

"Does he say why?"

"No," cried April. "He just says, 'These have been the best few days of my life, Red, but I'm sorry. I can never see you or talk to you again. You'll always be the most special girl I've ever known. Goodbye, April.' How can he say that to me! Why won't he tell me in person? I don't understand!"

"That coward," muttered Leo, clenching his fists.

"It is pretty cowardly to break up with someone by phone," Donnie said quietly to Leo. "What a jerk. I knew there was a reason I didn't like him."

"Shut up, Donatello," Leo said angrily. "You don't know what the heck you're talking about."

Taken aback, Donnie was about to argue when April started sobbing miserably.

"I'll never love anybody ever again!" April moaned. "Boys are stupid jerks!"

When Aunt Atsuko replied, Donnie could almost hear her eyes rolling. "April…" There was a brief period of time when all they could hear was April crying. "Give it time. I know it hurts."

"Thanks, Satou-san," April said with a sniff. "Sorry—Atsuko."

"I'll leave you be for a while. Call if you need me."

"Okay."

Donnie immediately turned to retreat ."Let's go," he hissed, but Leo didn't budge.

When Aunt Atsuko came out, she saw them standing there and gave them a chiding look.

"We were just going to ask if she wanted to watch a movie with us," Donnie muttered defensively.

Aunt Atsuko put her hands on her hips. "How much of that did you overhear?"

"The part that mattered," Leo said darkly.

Donnie was startled. Why was Leo so upset about this?

"I guess we have our answer, then," Aunt Atsuko said. She gently patted Leo on the shoulder. "Well, I'm heading home. Have fun, Leonardo."

"Thanks," Leo replied, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Come on, Donnie."

As Leo and Donnie walked back to the lab, Leo grabbed Donnie's shoulder before they went in. "Hey, Don, I need you to do me a favor."

Donnie nodded, trying to make sense of the situation.

"Can you change our network codes? The only people I want able to access it are us, April, and Atsuko."

"Well, sure, but…"

"Don't tell April you changed them. Don't tell Raph and don't tell Mikey. Understand?"

"Leo…what's going on?"

Leo sighed heavily. "You can't—absolutely cannot—tell the others."

Raph leaned out of the lab. "Hey! Are you tortoises coming in here or what?"

"In a minute, Raph," snarled Leo.

Raph made a face and disappeared back inside the lab.

"Casey…he has some problems, Donatello."

Donnie felt uncomfortable. Leo usually only used their full names when he was extremely serious about something. "I'm not sure I'm following you."

Leo looked over his shoulder. "Hey guys, start the movie without us," he shouted. "We'll be there in a few minutes!" He turned back to Donnie. "Let's go in the dojo for a while, huh?"


	33. Chapter 33

Author's Note: Okay, kiddies, this is it. Hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading and your encouragement along the way!

* * *

"All right! This calls for pizza!" shouted Leonardo.

"What do you mean?" snapped Raphael. "I lost!"

"Why do you think it calls for pizza?" Donatello said.

"Oh, I am gonna…"

"Chill out, Raph, it's Twofer Tuesday at Antonio's," Leo said. "I was gonna order some anyway."

As the three turtles boisterously left the dojo, Atsuko wished that Donatello and Leonardo wouldn't tease Raphael so mercilessly for his defeat in their 'sai-off.' After all, he had performed admirably—and she even suspected that perhaps he had been reluctant to accidentally hurt her. Shaking her head, she followed after her nephews with a smile on her face.

She hadn't smiled as much in sixteen years as she had in these past three days.

"Atsuko…a moment?"

Wiping the sweat off of her forehead, Atsuko turned around to face Splinter. He was standing under the tree, his hands folded and resting on top of his jade colored staff. She nodded. "I'll join you in a minute, boys!" she shouted over her shoulder. However, she suspected that they didn't hear her. With a chuckle she walked over to Splinter's side. "Of course. What can I do for you, brother?"

"I have a question for you. April had said to me that you have not faced Sojobo's Tengu. Is this true?"

With a bow, Atsuko nodded. "I suspect it has something to do with my lack of a sensei." She was fully aware that the Tengu was no more than one's teacher in a mask—one of the reasons that bushis were tested at a relatively young age was so that they would not have the time required to figure this out.

Splinter grinned slyly. "Perhaps we must remedy this," he said. "However, I fear I have little to teach you. Your skills are great indeed."

Atsuko felt a rush of emotion. It was no minor thing for a sensei to take a student under his wing. She found herself wondering how she could have allowed herself to despise Hamato Yoshi's memory all these years, how she could resent the man who had brought her sister so much joy. "You've already taught me much," Atsuko said.

"Have I, sister?"

"Yes. You've taught me how to trust again."

Splinter bowed deeply to her. When he rose, a tear clung to his furry nose. "Then I am still in your debt."

Holding back her own tears, Atsuko laughed. "How so?"

"You've taught me to forgive myself."

They heard Leonardo shouting from the other room. "Sensei! Obasan! What toppings do you want?"

With a smile, Splinter offered his arm to Atsuko. "Shall we?"

Atsuko bowed. "Of course."

Arm in arm, they walked out of the dojo and into their future as a family reunited.

* * *

Feeling gloomy and broken, April lay flopped on the bed in her makeshift room in the lair.

She hadn't stayed after training to watch Raph and Atsuko have their 'sai-off.' Instead, she'd gone to check on Mikey, who was peacefully asleep on the now well-cushioned exam table in the lair. Just weeks ago, it had been her father who lay there; but unlike her father, Mikey would be himself again as soon as his injuries were healed.

After that, she had gone to see her father. He was perfectly content in his manufactured cave; Donnie had even rigged lights to turn on so that her dad could establish the normal sleeping patterns of a bat. Donnie had even taken it upon himself to make sure that her dad had all of the proper nutrition he needed.

She sat there with her dad for several minutes. He had put his wing-arm around her while she snuggled up to his shoulder. She talked to him about what had happened, about school, and how Casey had broken up with her last night. She wasn't sure if he understood any of it, but she thought that maybe he had given her an extra squeeze when she told him about Casey.

"I miss you, Dad," she said as she left.

He had responded by pouncing on one of the moths that Donnie had set loose in the cave earlier.

Her gloom completed by her father's mental absence, April had then traipsed her way back to her room and locked herself in. She didn't even turn on the light. She sprawled on her bed face down, miserably resolving never to move again.

_Maybe if I just lie here not eating and not sleeping, I'll eventually die,_ she thought. She didn't know why she didn't want to eat, only that since Saturday night, food had simply tasted like ash in her mouth. Since Casey had dumped her, she found that she couldn't put food in her mouth without wanting to vomit. At least she understood why she didn't want to sleep, but that didn't make it any easier. She'd started having nightmares reliving her capture.

In the dreams, however, no one came to save her. She could hardly sleep for ten minutes together because of it. But last night had been the worst yet. After Casey had broke up with her, the dream now had Casey appearing—laughing at her while she was naked, telling her he never cared about her in the first place. He told her that after what Shredder had done, no one would ever want her or love her again. In one of the dreams, Donnie appeared but said he wouldn't save her, since she had chosen Casey.

The fact that she was behaving like a petulant child upset her even more. She knew that she was more mature than this—she'd heard her dad talk enough about psychology that she could name almost every one of the symptoms she was experiencing. She knew that it was an illusion, a trick being played on her by her mind. She also knew it would only be a matter of time before the nightmares—made worse by her subconscious—would start to leach into her everyday perception of things.

She was aware she needed professional help—but how could she heal without being completely honest with her counselor? And what doctor, after hearing her story, would not prescribe antipsychotic drugs if not simply hospitalize her?

Her dad would be the only one who could help her, and he was gone—maybe forever, if Donnie couldn't find a retro-mutagen. Even if he did, how could she be sure her father's mind would come back along with his human form?

When she heard a soft knock on the door, she didn't even bother moving. She hoped that if she didn't answer, whoever it was would just go away.

The knocking, however, persisted. "April? We're ordering pizza. Leo wants to know what toppings you want."

It was Donnie. The sound of his voice made April think of her dream-version of him, scowling at her coldly, saying, _"Why should I help you? You made your choice, April. And you chose him—let him help you." _

But the dream-Casey just laughed at her as she became Shredder's victim.

The knocking intensified. "April? April?" The door handle started rattling.

_Go away,_ April thought, being grateful she had locked the door. _Just let me die._

But with a crash, the door opened as Donnie kicked it in. "April?" He switched on the light.

"Don't look at me," April moaned, not even lifting her head. She felt so exposed, so vulnerable. She didn't want anyone ever to look at her again.

Nevertheless, Donnie was immediately at her side. "Are you okay?"

"Just go away," she said, hearing her own voice muffled by the blanket she had buried her face in.

She felt Donnie's strong hands take her by the shoulders. Gently, he turned her onto her side so that he could see her face.

When she opened her eyes, she saw his face less than a foot away from hers. "I just want to die, Donnie," she said. It was the only thing she could say. It was the only thing she could think.

She recoiled when she saw Donnie's face. His eyes went wide with fear. "A—April," he stammered. "Don't say that. It's going to be okay."

"It's never going to be okay," she muttered. "I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't even think."

"It's probably PTSD," Donnie said, as if explaining it would make it better. "I've been worried that this would happen. But people heal from it every day, April. I know you can, too."

"Why bother? It's not like Casey cares about me." She didn't care that she was talking to Donnie about Casey.

"I care about you!" Donnie protested. "All of us do!"

"But Casey didn't want me." She cursed herself for being so immature. She could see the illogic of her statements, and hated herself for it. But the feelings were so intense.

Donnie hesitated. "Yes, April. He did. But he's sick. I wasn't supposed to tell you—but you deserve the truth. When Casey called you on Saturday night, he was being held by the Foot Clan. He's sick, April. He's an addict. He's been fighting it for a long time—but he couldn't anymore when he was having alcohol shoved into his mouth."

April's head spun. For the first time in hours, she became aware of the world outside her own mind. "What are you saying? How do you know?"

"Leo told me. The Foot coerced Casey to give them your location. I think he was too ashamed to tell you about it himself. But my guess is that he would still have broken up with you even if he told you and you forgave him for it. He cares enough about you to make sure you were safe. I think he knew that as long as he had his problem, he would be vulnerable—and a threat to your safety. It wasn't that he didn't want you. But he wanted your safety more."

April didn't even know what to think. She didn't know what to feel, what to say.

"That's how you know someone cares about you," Donnie said, rubbing her shoulder gently. "They care more about you than they do themselves. And that's how I know that—even though he broke up with you—Casey really did care about you."

April sat up. "Thanks for telling me," she said, wiping a tear from her eye.

Donnie handed her a tissue. "Do you need to talk?"

April blew her nose. "I keep having nightmares. They're worse than what actually happened. I remember my dad talking about the progression of PTSD, once. It's like I can see it happening to me, and even though I understand it, I can't fight it. And the worst part is, there isn't a single psychologist who would believe me except my dad, and he's…a giant bat."

Donnie sighed, and tears pooled in his eyes. "I wish—April, I wish I could fix him right now. Sometimes I even wonder if this retro-mutagen is just a crazy fantasy that I'll never attain. But I will never—and I mean never—stop trying. For you, April. I can't stand to see you hurting like this. I can't stand knowing that if it weren't for our stupid screw-up, your dad wouldn't have gotten mutated in the first place. I want to just rush as fast as I can to find the cure—but I know without patience I'll just screw it up. And there is nothing that matters more to me than this—I promise you."

Somewhere inside her soul, April heard Atsuko's lilting voice speaking—or singing—or breathing:

_"It is to be all made of sighs and tears…_

_It is to be all made of faith and service…_

_It is to be all made of fantasy,_

_All made of passion and all made of wishes,_

_All adoration, duty, and observance,_

_All humbleness, all patience and impatience,_

_All purity, all trial, all observance…_

Then, before she could stop herself, the truth that she had been hiding from herself for so long escaped through her lips. "I love you, Donatello."

Donnie jumped. His whole face turned red. "You—you what?"

* * *

"Geez, April must be writing an essay about her pizza toppings," Raphael grumbled.

Everyone but April and Donatello were in the kitchen, working on the list of pizzas that they wanted to order. Atsuko rolled her eyes at Raphael's impatience. "They're probably talking—April's been really down today. He's probably trying to cheer her up." In fact, Atsuko felt a pang of guilt for not having gone to check on April yet today. She had started to see in April's face the markers of intense trauma, markers she knew all too well from her own reflection.

"Well he should be trying to make her tell him what she wants on her pizza."

"I'll go make sure that everything is all right," Atsuko said.

As she walked through the lair, she realized that she had been afraid to talk to April; afraid that talking about it would bring up Atsuko's past demons to haunt her. But she was done with fear of the past. She and April would be able to work toward healing together.

With the hope for her future now brighter than ever, she walked down the tunnel that lead to April's room and saw that the door was open. However, she didn't hear any voices coming from inside. Curious, she pushed the door open a little more and looked inside.

April and Donatello were sitting on the bed kissing each other, completely unaware of the world around them.

Shaking her head and smiling, Atsuko turned around and headed back to the kitchen, planning to tell Leonardo that April wanted pepperoni, since that seemed to be what April generally got the most.

But as she went, the image of the young couple kissing took her back to her own past. When she entered the kitchen, she had ceased to be Satou Atsuko.

Because, during a fond memory of a moment when Kenshin was courting her, Kobayashi Tang Mei found the part of herself that she thought had died.

Tang Mei was alive.

Fin


End file.
